When Video Directors Try to Really Direct
I mentioned in passing the train wreck Fastlane I caught 10 minutes of the other night. Man, how does shit like this get the green light? In case you know nothing about the show (you lucky bastard) Fastlane is a cop buddy show directed by the talented McG. Yeah that's the guys name, "McG." You may know him from his previous Academy Award Winners *cough*bullshit*cough* Charlie's Angels and, well, nothing besides music videos *snicker*. <Insert even Fred Durst can direct music videos joke here>
Anyway, let's meet the stars of the show:
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"We're talking Kid Rock meets, well, someone not ugly." That's what McG was thinking when he cast Peter Facinelli as Officer Van Ray Strummer. Gritty, streetwise, and damn marketable to recent training bra graduates. Unfortunately I didn't watch the show long enough to determine if he is shirtless and oiled all the time. I can only wish.
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| He's the Eddie Murphy character in this ten-thousandth black & white cop buddy concept since 48 Hours. You may remember Bill Bellamy as an annoying vee-jay on MTV trying to shed his Cosby kid upbringing with that gangsta stuff. As Detective Deaqon LaVelle Hayes, Bellamy is a constant source of "why-a-brutha-gotta?" jokes. You know, "why a brother gotta go in there when there's guys with machine guns behind the register?" |
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 | You may remember Tiffani-Amber Thiessen from Saved by the Bell or perhaps Beverly Hills, 90210. Or maybe even those nekked pictures of her floating around the net? My only advice to Miss Thiessen is to pray Fastlane gets cancelled before her b00bz sag any further. Being the show has been pushed to Friday night, her prayers may already have been answered. |
Recap: Bad director + bad actors + oiled hot guy + funny black guy + b00bz = guaranteed audience of empty-vee flunkies too loserish to go out on Friday night. Congrats McG, looks like a winner!
9:39:27 PM  | |
= recent update 
