Shop Till Eggs, Diapers, Toothpaste Drop
By John Tierney
August 28, 2002

An automated convenience store on a Washington sidewalk is an eyesore to some, but beneficial — even novel — to others.

I love dehumanizing technology.

OK, now that I got your attention with that cheap shot, allow me to explain myself. I've heard and read several people who say they are tired of getting robots when they phone a customer service number. Me, I'm thankful for that. Just punch the numbers and you get what you want; if you are calling in to put a credit card order, there's no fighting with an operator who might get all those 16 digits wrong.

And what about those nifty "scan-yourself" lanes at the supermarket? Your produce doesn't get mishandled and you make sure the gallon of milk won't be placed right on top of the eggs.

So this automated convenience store (or as John Tierney puts it so succinctly, "RoboShop") is a godsend. Out of milk in the middle of the night and don't want to deal with that disgruntled guy working the graveyard shift? No problem! Walk up to this mega-vending machine, feed it your money and punch the numbers. Instant milk.

But the litmus test is this: Will you be able to get the really necessary goodies from it? Will it sell you a six of Corona for that BYOB you're on your way to? What about that bottle of rum you suddenly find yourself short of? Or a pack of Trojans? Will the Playboys still be hidden under the counter? What counter!

Ah, technology. So much that it gives, and yet it is never enough.

Idiot Box

It first appeared on Variety, then it got repeated on Yahoo!, and now the Washington Post adds its two cents on it. On what? Allow me to be lazy and let Warren Ellis say it for me:

HOLLYWOOD (Variety) - CBS is resurrecting "The Beverly Hillbillies" as a reality series.

This is the sort of high concept LA likes. "Why don't we do Beverly Hillbillies for real -- like The Osbournes!" They are literally going to find a photogenic bunch of American hicks and stick them in a mansion for a year and film the whole horrible thing.

TV go home.

(What's that you say? You don't know who this Warren Ellis character is? Shame on you! I'll let Andrew get rough on you for that...)

This has gone far enough people: Survivor was nothing more than an overwrought game show. Temptation Island was right there on the fringe of the ethical barrier. And now this? Please, somebody stop the madness.

Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, and Star Trek II
Spock dead; Quentin Tarantino missing.
By Bryan Curtis
August 29, 2002

Slate is delivering its reviews of DVD extras more often now, which is good for an aficionado of the format like yours truly. No better way to use that PlayStation 2 I bought over a year ago than to pop in a disc, watch the feature film once, look at all the trailers and "documentaries," and then watch the film once again with the commentary track.

Unless the film is a Tarantino movie. It turns out the commentary on the new Collector's edition of Pulp Fiction is commentary-less. At least there's one on Reservoir Dogs. Still, as Bryan Curtis notes, "these DVDs could have used his boundless energy..." Energy = Yammering. And Tarantino was an unstopable motormouth when he made these two movies, which makes this lack of verbiage a sad omission. "Tarantino's reluctance to get more involved puts him squarely in a group of director-recluses who are too cool for DVD, like Woody Allen and Terrence Malick."

And, oh!, there's also something in this article about a Star Trek film. Is it an odd or an even one? I think this one is got Ricardo Montalban in it. I guess that would make it an even one.