Found art: Referrals

"Fuck genealogists!"

"Byline: Julia Lipman"

"William Shatner with Spiders"

{Edited on September 28, 2002. The exhibits were put on display on this date. The Night Gallery-like comment is left to the patrons.}

U.S. Agribusiness Peddles to the Proletariat in Cuba
By Lizette Alvarez
September 27, 2002

Fidel Castro and nearly 300 American companies set aside four decades of estrangement to kick off the largest American trade show ever in Cuba.

In a move resembling the Bay of Pigs invasion but with an invitation, a group of gringo food companies promoted their products at a trade show in Havana limited to "selected officials from industries like the hotel trade" who could buy the goods on display. This show was made possible "under a two-year-old law that permits American companies to export food and agricultural products to Cuba so long as the sales are made in cash," a law which was passed after the constant lobbying of the same businesses supplying the show.

El presidente Castro graced the event with his presence. And not just him: at least one newsworthy American politician travelled to the island to participate.

..."I never dreamed in my lifetime that I would stand here in the great country of Cuba, and I never dreamed I would see our two flags standing side by side," said Governor Jesse Ventura of Minnesota. "I look forward to this being just the first step in trade relations between the two countries."

However, as if having the man the CIA couldn't shave and "the Body" under the same roof were not enough, the event was spiced with some surreal happenings.

Otto J. Reich, the assistant secretary of state for Western Hemisphere affairs, recently expressed his disappointment with the event, and cautioned Mr. Ventura and others traveling to Cuba to steer clear of the island's "sexual tourism."

Better yet, it all went magical realism from there with el presidente extolling the patriotic fervor of the nation's poultry.

Mr. Castro lauded "heroic Cuban chickens" who work hard to produce eggs under difficult circumstances. Cuban officials had just signed with Radloe Foods LLC to import 30 million eggs for $1.5 million.

And what about the tableau presented by the trade show itself?

The scene in the exhibition hall seemed strangely dissonant. Men dressed like M&M's and cans of Spam drifted past workers who noshed, happily and greedily, on the snacks and drinks offered at the booths. There were boxes of corn flakes, tubs of chocolate ice cream, slices of creamy cake, sausages, cheese, bacon and thick roast beef, all of it a feast to Cuban eyes.

"It is all very, very good," chuckled Benito Barzaga, a worker at the exhibition, a glass of free wine in his hand. "Especially the meat. Sheesh."

Thankfully it all didn't explode into anarchy, with the deprived Cubans finishing all the samples and chasing down those giant chocolates and cans of ham, who would have had to kick their feet into high gear should they avoid being grabbed by the mob and inspiring them to do their best Charlton Heston: "¡El Spam es gente! ¡El Spam es gente!"

Jack-in-the-box

Eleven people, being rescued from a flood, were hanging on a rope under a helicopter: ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, and soon they realized that one had to drop off. Otherwise they would all fall.

None of the men dared volunteer himself as the person that would take the fall, but as the roped seemed about to give away, the woman spoke. "I'll let go of the rope. As a woman, I've given up everything for my husband and kids, and for men in general, without ever getting anything in return."

As soon as she finished her speech, all the men, deeply moved by her words, began clapping.

Icebox

You heard about it first on Driver 8! (Uh... That is, unless you happened to read the original source first.) Back in August, Salon was surveying its readers on whether they'd be willing to pay a lower fee to access Premium content while "still [being] exposed to banner ads and pop-ups." Today, Founder, Chairman and Editor in Chief (hey, that's what it says on the staff page!) David Talbot posted a letter where he pitched a new subscription model to access Premium content:

...For $18.50 a year, you can get full access to all of Salon's premium-only content and all the other benefits a subscription provides. The only difference? The lower-priced subscription is supported by advertising -- you'll see the ads that the $30 subscribers don't.

The August survey also dropped an interesting hint of Salon going the way of dead trees: "If Salon were to publish a quarterly print magazine that featured its best articles over the preceding months, how much would you be willing to pay for an annual subscription (4 issues)?" Mr. Talbot's letter didn't mention any plans on implementing this model, though. When yours truly posted the original entry, the idea of Salon in paper generated some amount of chatter:

I'd actually love to get a Best Of Salon magazine a few times a year - bathroom reading, if nothing else. I'd pay extra on top of my current Premium subscription- not a lot, but a few bucks, for sure.

Andrew Bayer • 8/29/02; 6:35:36 AM

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Maybe if they bound them in sturdy glossy pages with a solid spine, added some new artwork and kept the advertisements (you need ads to keep the publishing overhead down) they would have a winner: A Salon offline backup for you to keep! Still, not sure if the idea will make their money woes go away or add to them.

Charly Z • 8/29/02; 7:47:58 AM

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The whole reason I paid for a Salon subscription was to escape banner ads and access complete stories. I'm not sure why I should pay AND have to look at ads. That seems weird and wrong. Regarding a print mag, I assume their intent is to sell ad space in it to raise revenue. In that case, they don't need our input - they can just do it and worry about distribution as a downstream issue, eh? How about they offer two-tiered pricing, if it comes to that: a low rate for people who love to look at web ads and a higher rate for those of delicate sensibilties.

Cheers.

The Raven • 8/29/02; 2:17:40 PM

While a paper backup of Salon bytes seems nowhere near to appearing, I'd like to wish Salon good luck in bringing a new batch of subscribers with their new model.

{Edited on September 28, 2002. Changed "he pitched to his readers a new subscription model" to "he pitched a new subscription model."}