Jack-in-the-box

At kindergarten, the teacher asked the children to make a sentence with liver and cheese.

Bobby Joe, a white kid, said: "My mom made me a liver and cheese sandwich and it was soooo good..."

Jamal, a black kid, said: "My daddy told my momma to go get the Government cheese and she didn't so my daddy punched her in the liver..."

Pepe, a Mexican kid, said: "Some kids were trying to look under my sister's dress so I told the vatos: 'Hey, liver alone! Cheese my sister!'"

Geraldo signs backsides yards from sniper site
Rivera defends behavior at Hooters near Fredericksburg sniper scene
By Michael Zitz
October 15, 2002

Call it "newspeople behaving badly:" Geraldo Rivera arrived last Friday to Fredericksburg, Virginia, to the site where the sniper shot a victim earlier that day. After an exhausting day of chasing the news, Geraldo and his crew decided it was time to get some R&R and headed for the local Hooters, some 50 yards away from the chalk outline. While there, he was much obliged to honor "the requests of his adoring fans" (as relayed through Fox News Channel spokesman Robert Zimmerman), the Hooters girls, who asked him and his brother/producer, Craig, to autograph their shorts. While they were inside them, natch.

One of said girls defended Geraldo's behavior saying, as Michael Zitz puts it, that "all work and no play would make Geraldo a big bore." A big bore, the guy who carried a gun when he reported from Afghanistan? You don't say...

{Later...}

It's been brought to my attention that from the above it's not clear "what's the big deal? Why can't [Geraldo] go to Hooters and sign Hooters' shorts?" I should have added that Geraldo's being criticized for getting into these shenanigans right after reporting on the person killed by the sniper that day and not that far away from the crime scene. That's right, he's being criticized for being insensitive.

Let this omission show how lacking my summarizing skills are.