Here's a feeble rhyme that arrived to my inbox, decribed as "a redneck love poem:"

Susie Lee done fell in love;
She planned to marry Joe.
She was so happy 'bout it all
She told her Pappy so.
Pappy told her, "Susie gal,
You'll have to find another.
I'd just as soon yo' Ma don't know,
But Joe is yo' half brother"
So Susie put aside her Joe
And planned to marry Will.
But after telling Pappy this,
He said, "There's trouble still...
You can't marry Will, my gal,
And please don't tell your Mother,
But Will and Joe and several mo'
I know is yo' half brother"
But Mama knew and said, "My child,
Just do what makes you happy.
Marry Will or marry Joe
You ain't no kin to Pappy.

Where did that came from? A web search didn't return any pages giving authorship. A newsgroup search showed the earliest recorded usage happened on July 14, 1996; the post titled the poem Susie Lee and had the following wording:

Susie Lee fell in love,
She planned to marry Joe.
She was so happy 'bout it all
She told her Pappy so.

Pappy told her, "Susie Gal,
You'll have to find another,
I'd just as soon you Ma don't know,
But Joe is you half-brother."

So Susie forgot about her Joe,
And planned to mary Will,
But after telling Pop her plans,
He said, "There's trouble still."

"You can't marry Will, my Gal,
And please don't tell yo mother,
'Cause Will and Joe and several mo
I knows is yo half-brother."

But Mama knew and said, "Honey Chile,
Do what makes ya happy,
Marry Will or marry Joe,
You ain't no kin to Pappy."

This little ditty is probably the product of some witty amateur, perhaps a yankee taking a cheap shot at the Ozarks. Think someone will ever claim authorship?

A mightily entertaining bit from Chad Dickerson's report from the National Association of Convenience Stores show:

...The heft of the [convenience store, or "c-store"] industry was enough to draw... former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright to close the conference... Albright spoke about the American dream, Iraq and terrorism -- broad and unquestionably American themes. The message for this audience is implicit: We will beat terrorism via the sheer will to provide American convenience to the world. If a man in Thailand is unable to walk into a 7-Eleven for a 44 oz. Big Gulp, then the terrorists have won.

And there's also the opening bit about a radio-control car race hosted by a rolling paper company, the child-like yearning brought on by an encounter with lovable chimp Too Tarts Jackson, a dream sequence inspired by the whole event, the Dead Kennedy's "Give Me Convenience or Give Me Death" epiphany after watching a McDonald's customer having trouble paying with his Visa... In fact, this whole article was a hoot. Excellent!

Perhaps a little too excellent. Given the recent cases of journalists making up some details of their stories, I have some doubts about Dickerson's tale. That dream sequence and the whole McDonald's part for example: did Salon's fact-checking staff verify them? Maybe did some hypnotism sessions to have him recall the dream in detail?

No matter; it is these kind of details that get published under the edict "too good to check!"