Jack-in-the-box

A slight rewrite of "Hu's on First," a sketch by playwright James Sherman.

Hu Jintao, 59, was named general secretary of China's Communist Party [on November 14], replacing the long-serving Jiang Zemin. He is also expected to be named president in March, when Jiang officially relinquishes that post, too...
— What's the Most Powerful Political Job in China?, Brendan I. Koerner

INT. OVAL OFFICE — DAYTIME
George Bush is sitting at his desk, skimming over the latest intel coming from Iraq. Condoleeza Rice enters.

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

Condoleeza: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George: Great. Lay it on me.

Condoleeza: Hu is the new leader of China.

George: That's what I want to know.

Condoleeza: That's what I'm telling you.

George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condoleeza: Yes.

George: I mean the fellow's name.

Condoleeza: Hu.

George: The guy in China.

Condoleeza: Hu.

George: The new leader of China.

Condoleeza: Hu.

George: The Chinaman!

Condoleeza: Hu is leading China.

George: Now whaddya asking me for?

Condoleeza: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

Condoleeza: That's the man's name.

George: That's who's name?

Condoleeza: Yes.

George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?

Condoleeza: Yes Sir.

George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.

Condoleeza: That's correct.

George: Then who is in China?

Condoleeza: Yes Sir.

George: Yassir is in China?

Condoleeza: No Sir.

George: Then who is?

Condoleeza: Yes Sir.

George: Yassir?

Condoleeza: No Sir.

George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condoleeza: Kofi?

George: No, thanks.

Condoleeza: You want Kofi?

George: No.

Condoleeza: You don't want Kofi.

George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.

Condoleeza: Yes Sir.

George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condoleeza: Kofi?

George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condoleeza: And call who?

George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condoleeza: Hu is the guy in China.

George: Will you stay out of China!

Condoleeza: Yes Sir.

George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

Condoleeza: Kofi.

George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

Condoleeza picks up the phone.

Condoleeza: Rice, here.

George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

For the record, searching for this joke in newsgroups shows it initially appeared on November 20 in the soc.culture.singapore group.

{Edited on November 24, 2002. Added the second line giving credit to the original author of this joke. Still, I did do some face-lifting here and there, so I reserved the right to call this a "rewrite."}