As the Raven once said, don't you hate her? Kat Donahue says writing for her is a necessity, not an option; it seems she never suffers from writer's block but, if anything, from writer's withdrawal: "I write the way some people drink; if I don't do some writing every day, I get tense, irritable, and everything seems just plain wrong..." And she can't be bothered dealing with those who say they wanted to be in a creative career but never got around to it.

All the creative types I know have been driven to do what they do. If they didn't have the benefit of instruction, they just tried to work it out on their own, or just did it badly. It was something they had to do as a part of their homeostasis.

But, oh, if it was as easy when that fire isn't burning within! Personally, I believed since the day I grabbed a pencil and began doodling that I'd grew up to become a "creator". I didn't know of what kind, and it changed every time: an architect, a painter, a writer, a movie-maker. Nevertheless, I was convinced I was called to create. Until I realized that, when it comes to my creative impulse, there's nobody home.

Yes, I know what you might say: If I didn't actually have the muse teasing me, would I be here, throwing byte after byte into the void? Well, parrots can learn to talk and we don't think they actually have anything to tell us, do we? There might be some nice prose here, but as some have noticed, that may be the only thing. A sentence may jump gracefully from the page, but it might prove to hold no original thought at all.

Maybe I wasn't meant to create then. Perhaps my talent laid elsewhere. But where?

Help came in the comments thread to Kat's statement, from the words of one Fred McAmis:

You should check out Kolbe.com

It's a great theory and instrument which purportedly identifies peoples [sic] natural talents. The idea is that we're all creative, just in different ways...

"Natural talents"? I'm there! So I went to check it out.

And found that it costs money. Not just chump change, mind you, but $49.95!

Now there's a hurdle for you. No problem: hurdles were meant to be jumped over. Or at least walked around, so I searched Google for "personality test" and got a bunch of sponsored links on the side: "Free Personality Test: Free info about your personality & the occupation category for you!" "Free Personality Test: Personality, career tests & more. Personalized 15 pg. report $8.95!" And so on. I decided to try them and quickly found out that, while everyone claimed their tests were "free," I couldn't get to one without registering at their site. Marketing was creeping me over!

But then I found one that looked like it could be a joke test (I got that impression from the site's design) but, hey, it was free and didn't need registration. Neat!

Beneath the fun of this test is some heavy-duty science. Built by a team of PhD's from Yale, Duke, and Northeastern, it accurately measures what many psychologists consider to be the central components, and fundamental dimensions of personality. Imagine if you knew how others really perceive you. Or how you could handle conflicts better.

Sure, buddy, sure. Let's get to the questions...

Well, the test looked simple enough; it was the usual bunch of hypotetical statments about you to which you respond with the following options: Strongly agree, Agree, Disagree, Strongly Disagree. The first two questions went OK, but then I reached question #3: "I get very upset if I catch my partner checking out other people." I don't currently have a partner. What would be the option for that? Hmm... I guess that's a "Strongly Disagree."

But beyond that, every other question presented a situation I could relate to, and finished the test quickly. And as I was ready to get my results, the request to create an account at this website came before handing the goods. Nice trick. Ah, well, I decided to cede my data just to find what I came looking for. And then, I guess I was kind of expecting the answer that came next: "you're a Critic!"

Your personality is actually determined by two personality sub-types — your primary, or dominant sub-type, and your secondary sub-type. You are a Critic which means you are a Thinker / Success. Your primary sub-type is defined by "Thinker" characteristics and your secondary sub-type is defined by "Success" characteristics.

That means you're complex, thoughtful and never content to skate on the surface. Chances are you veer towards being so analytical and introspective that even positive qualities can seem like faults. The truth is that you have a very perceptive, gentle spirit.

How do we know all this? How do we know that you hate chaos at work and prefer a structured environment? Or that sometimes you feel undervalued by your boss? How could we have divined that there's a part deep inside you that's aching to make more money?

Because while you were taking the test, you answered four different types of questions — questions that measured confidence, apprehension, willingness to take risks, and your focus on experience versus appearance — the primary traits that determine your personality. Based on your responses, we determined your personality type, Critic.

And that's just scratching the surface.

Am I surprised? No. Heck, I guess I was expecting that in a way. You know what they say about "those who can, do, and those who can't, teach"? What happens who those who can't even teach? They discover that they weren't meant to create; they were meant to destroy, to rip things apart, to live the life of constant dissatisfaction: The life of the Critic. Which meshes up nicely with the way I've been looking at the world lately.

I think I'll go back to being Rowlf. Damn, I'd even gladly be Dmitri!