Today I tried a Google search on "lapsed catholic," wondering if I'm using that term correctly to describe myself.

You see, I was talking to a co-worker the other day about the fact that one of my uncles asked me to become godfather to his youngest daughter, and I agreed. Hey, anything that'll tighten the family bonds! Problem is, now I'm concerned about what kind of tasks I'll have to perform as a godfather.

Cutting to the chase, I explained to my co-worker that I'm a lapsed catholic. Only she apparently hadn't ever heard the term, so I explained I meant to say by that that I've distanced myself from the Church: I stopped going to mass well over a decade away, and at about the same time I stepped for the last time into the confession booth.

So how come I'm getting all concerned now? Well, agreeing to become a godfather means I'm agreeing to help raise my cousin following the teachings of the Church. I'm wondering, when I go with my family to my cousin's baptism, and the priest asks for the child's godfather, will he grill me about the last time I took the Holy Sacrament of communion? Will he ask if I have confessed and repented my sins? How embarrassing!

On the other hand, I may not have to worry so much: with all the sins I've stacked for a decade, I'm pretty sure I'll just burst up in flames the moment I put a foot inside the temple.

As for that "lapsed catholic" business: I found the below image after following Google's top result, and it made me remember the kind of attitude I was fleeing from when I left my catechism behind.

Check our expanded catalogue of resource books for the domestic church. Click the really excited choir boy!

{Update, January 31, 2003}

A thanks-for-linking goes to Chutney, the mastermind behind MyIrony.com, who remarks the, uh, irony of a "lapsed Catholic" offering a link to "praise & worship music." (Click the really excited choir boy, already!)