Before finishing my first plate of fried rice and General Tsao's chicken, without waiting for me to head to the buffet for seconds, the waiter brings my check and a fortune cookie. Is this any way to treat a customer? Anyway, I go for seconds. With that out of the way, I can go down to business with the cookie.

Remember that winners do what losers don't want to

Ho-hum, how exciting. Maybe I can spice this up with a little game a friend taught me: add "in bed" at the end.

Remember that winners do what losers don't want to in bed

What a riot. Let's flip the little strip around and get my lucky numbers.

Please visit us at www.wontonfood.com

This is new; first time I get a URL from a cookie. So what's the deal? Well, according to the site

Wonton Food Inc. is the worlds largest manufacture of Noodles, Wrappers, and Fortune Cookies in the United States.

Our products have been serving the Food Service Industry since 1973. Our main customers are Distributors, Retailers, and Exporters in the United States, South America, Canada and Europe.

Ah, so it's the website of the fortune cookie manufacturer! But what's here for me, the humble fortune-cookie user? There's a company profile and news, but I guess only Chinese restaurants need bother with that. Hmm... Nothing to look at here.

Maybe your not looking for a food line, then let Wonton Food Inc. introduce you to new and inventive ways to advertise your products, services, or promotions with our special special service called The Custom Fortune Cookie "Advertising Programs". We can get your advertising information in the hands of millions at an unbelievable price.

Well well well, advertising! Now here's something for everyone! We may currently be in an advertising slump (which killed the free web) but, as some pleas for advertising dollars say, "Without publicity something terrible happens: Nothing!" And if you're selling, you can't let that happen. So if your budget won't allow for a small ad in the local paper, even less for a Super Bowl extravaganza, why not go with the cookies?

In bed.