Dave Cullen – 'I must tell you . . .'
Rants from the hinterland. Denver writer and freqent (though not recent) Salon contributor Dave Cullen spills all the stories nobody wants to pay him for (or that he's too lazy to query about).

The homepages listed below the calendar link to some of my better stories, including my all-time favorite: "Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Don't Fall in Love."
Last updated:
8/17/02; 1:25:27 PM


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Saturday, August 17, 2002

A Modest Suggestion

So can I throw in a cheap shot? (Cheaper shot?) I only do it because that show takes itself so seriously and drives me so fucking crazy. (Please allow me to expend this lather.)

Once I typed it, "Gwen Ifill!  And Friends" sounded so much like the new title for the show--and such an appropriate one, following in the steps of (is it "Fox and Friends"? on FoxNews (sic)). My head has been swimming with alternate titles ever since, along with another somewhat unseemly thought:

Do they have to round up such a bunch of nerds for the show (nearly) every week? Who is advising Jeffrey Birnbaum on that big fat walrus mustache from the (18?)50s? Why don't they just come right out with it and call the show "Washington Dorks"?


1:23:59 PM    Respond! you bastards []

Gwen Ifill!  And Friends

What a stupid twit. I just tortured myself watching Washington Week, for some reason. Keep thinking I might learn something.

That Richard Berke (of nyt) was infuriating enough, trying to build this bogus case for what a nightmare travel was going to be this summer, what with Amtrak troubles, airlines facing bankruptcy, and if everyone switches to cars, what will become of the turnpikes! Thanks go out to Jeffrey Birnbaum of Fortune, so ever so delicately pointing out that none of the airlines were actually being grounded.

Berke just brushed reality aside, though, and continued on about the horrors of American cutting out hot food! (This, leading to gridlock on the turnpikes?) "They’re way cutting down on service!" he squealed--and it really was a high-pitched squeal--in his mellifluous George W. facility with the language. He bolstered his case further with data about job cuts, which are highly relevant an economic discussion, but mere smoke here. (And of course, the core of his Amtrak argument was also economic.) So it all boiled down to some problems with Amtrak trains on the east coast. The lynch-pin of the American transportation system.

Typical of the way a dishonest goofball can assemble a bunch of disparate factoids related to the travel industry, and fabricate a sky-is-falling discussion out of thin air. This guy works for the nyt?

But getting back to Gwen. Because the show has to end with one of Gwen’s mini cutesyisms, that make me want to plow my foot through the set. Oh, there’s nothing in the world quite like Gwen. Except, perhaps Jane Pauley or Stone Phillips, or Diane Sawyer. But what the hell is this little chirper doing on public television?


12:44:37 PM    Respond! you bastards []




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