I had not had a chance to pick up Howard Dean's book, Winning Back America yet, but a really nice woman from Simon & Shususter wrote today offering to send me a copy if I would consider a review. So I'll try to read it in the next week and post my take here, and maybe there, on the blog site they have set up for the book.

That's my plug. Have a look if you're interested. Or you can find the book at Amazon here.

Ever since last fall, I've been toying with the idea of heading to Iowa or New Hampshire. I've really enjoyed the blogging for Dean, but nothing like actually plunging in physically. The Meetups were fine at first, but I got bored with them pretty fast. Iowa, I could reall dig my teeth into.

Especially Iowa right before the caucuses. I used to picture New Hampshire, but for months now, I've been predicting on this site that Iowa would be the real test, and how could I stay home when so much was at stake?

I was thinking about approaching my friend/boss to go, but he came to me first. So . . . 

A week from Friday, we're on a plane to Des Moines. At first it was going to be just the weekend, but they really wanted help with the last minute Get Out The Vote stuff on Monday, so we agreed to that, and then it just seemed stupid to get on a plane right before the event unfolded, so we decided to stay for the party. It better be a party. We'll do are best to help ensure a party.

We're booked till Tuesday morning. The plane tickets are purchased, so we're definitely going. (And my boss/friend actually decided to buy plane tix for the Out For Dean guys, so they'll be there as well.)

And yes, we did get roped into yet another homo group. Should make it all the more fun. We'll be part of The Rainbow Storm, though I prefer Dean's Big Gay Army, or perhaps homodeans (pronounced in four syllables: ho mo' de anz).

And . . .

And you're all invited to join us. Any gayboys or gaygirls or faghags or (dykestuds? there's no male equivalent is there?) wanna come? You can be gay, straight or questioning, but you're welcome to join our little group. You just need to get yourself to Iowa, and preferably with accomodations, but they can try to get you in with a family.

Or you can go with another group, or without a group, but it should be exciting, and you can still drop in and see us.

Go here to sign up to join the Iowa assault, whether or not you want to be part of our subgroup. Then, if you want to join our big gay army (for dean), use our GROUP ID NUMBER is 1121 and our GROUP NAME RAINBOW STORM.

I will, of course, provide a full report. Unless something goes horribly awry, I'll plan to post all weekend while I'm there, providing a play-by-play of the whole weekend, so you can live the campaign vicariously, if you choose to wimp out and remain in your comfy little houses.

Yeah, this is late, so don't read it. It always takes me awhile to figure out what I think about things, and then my blog was down. So now, belatedly, the post you could have read in the comments half a week ago:

Arbitrary Calendrical Designation Change Night is easily the dumbest holiday of the year. Even when I was young I knew this, but I didn't care, because any excuse for a party. And the more people at the party, the better.

Then I got older and decided not necessarily. Better off without a lot of the party-deadweight out for amateur night.

But this year, I was back to the old idea. Cause I was in Chicago, no so much looking to meet Mr. Right as hook up. And more noncharging hookers available.

But I was right the second time.

But I enjoyed it anyway. And how kind of Margaret Cho to sum up so many of my thoughts on the matter. Like this:

Being left alone as the clock strikes 12 is considered the height of loneliness and desolation and predicts a future filled with studio apartments filled with stray cats and a 13" black and white television propped up on outdated phone books. To escape that desperate feeling, I would do just about anything, only to realize, the reality of selling myself short to accommodate a kind of societal 'deadline,' was worse than staying home in the first place.

All I was shooting for this year was the afterglow crowd. Just waited around to the shit started going after midnight. I was in my car looking for a parking space at midnight, and was relieved to get the stupid countdown over with without participating. My two laments were, 1) I wanted to be in my sister's apt getting liquored up to make the most of the midnight to 4 a.m. playtime, before the Chicago clubs had to close, and 2) I wanted to put my feet up.

Luckily, many poor suckers were just waiting around for the stoopid toast, and at 12:04 a guy ran out of his party and I grabbed his spot.

I never really made resolutions, but this year I am making up a bit of a plan. Like a To Do list for getting myself to NY, and a couple other things I want to get going this year. More on that once the blog is back up. For now, more good stuff from Margaret:

I said to myself, year after year, "This year is going to be different. It is going to be my year. It is my turn now." And right after that, I usually passed out. But really, when I was just getting that fucked up, nothing really changed, and yet I kept expecting things to, like to say it at midnight was to cast a spell, to have fate lend me a hand, when truly there would be no change unless it was by my own hand. I wasted a lot of time practicing misplaced magic, thinking that these rituals and holidays had a kind of power on their own, as opposed to realizing that we are responsible for our own superstitions, traditions, beliefs - even if it just a social desire.

How frustrating to finish up an angry, frustrated, depressing rant with "I hate, hate, hate my life," bring the central problem to a head, resolve it and suddenly watch the blue skies open up all around me, only to get locked out of my blog and watch those words sit there taunting me for more than a week.

The bulk of the problem was erupting from work--this day job I'll be doing for quite some time--and I guess it had to get to the breaking point. I erupted back. I cannot say I erupted maturely, but I did get the shit on the table, finally.

And my boss was really nice about it. We had a long, useful talk, straightened some key things out, and among other things, we agreed I would fly back to Denver more, and I would quit pushing myself quite so hard.

Denver's not really where I see myself longterm--though it will be my first choice for a second home once I'm rich--but it is home at the moment. I do miss my friends there, and just being home. Chicago can be fun, but when I'm all alone for a weekend in this corporate apartment in the suburbs, I can get cabin fever almost instantly. Getting sick and spending Christmas in it all alone. Ugh. First Christmas ever alone. Yuck.

I've got a much better handle on things now, and I'm solidifying plans to get to NYC by May. Moving there, that is. Solid is probably not an accurate description of my plans, but solidifyING. Or at least my resolve is.

Soon I will get my plans for the year down, and I should be using this space to do it. I never have believed in resolutions, but this is more a list of things I want to accomplish this year. Goals? Sounds hokey, but who cares. Now and then, you need to set some goals. I actually think they tend to mess people up in general, but I prolly overcompensated. There's a few things I really want to do this year. Like move to NY. I'll get a few more down here soon.

Thank God.

And thanks to my really sweet ex who went over to my house in Denver to reset the PC and call me with the new IP address.

This weekend I'll be back there, and hope to load all the files onto my laptop to make it the blog server. Then I'll never have this problem again.

I was posting in the comments of the last post for the past week or so. Hope you saw some of them there. I'll repost a few of them here on the outside.

So much to say, but really busy work week. Will catch up a little as I can during the week, then catch up for real this weekend.