One of the rare great TV critics out there, Salon's Heather Havrilesky, recaps the full season of The Amazing Race in a Monday story titled Those Amazing Animals.

Hysterical and insightful as always, the title captures the flavor of it nicely. She starts by contrasting it to all the dating shows, summing up my own feeling about how tiresome they've grown so quickly:

If you wanted to sit through moronic, inane banter punctuated by awkward silences, why wouldn't you just ask out a socially inept halfwit yourself?

Which nicely segues to:

If, instead of watching people pretending to fall in love for the camera, you'd prefer to see established couples fall into a downward spiral of contempt and hysteria -- and who wouldn't? -- then "The Amazing Race" is the show for you. Don't let the silly world-travel challenges fool you. "The Amazing Race" is all about dragging long-term relationships over the red-hot coals of conflict. ...As our intrepid couples endure a steady stream of panic-inducing situations, skillfully edited to maximize the nail-biting suspense, we can almost see the seams of their relationships ripping before our eyes.

Loved every moment of this piece, I'd like to excerpt it all. I'll skip past--Tian and Jaree 'described as "Models" and, less convincingly, "Friends," -to get straight to the teams we most love to hate and most love to love:

During a "traditional Malaysian good luck blessing" which gay beauties Chip and Reichen report was like "getting married all over again" and even The Clowns thought was "special," open-minded Millie says, "Being a Christian, it was just a little unusual. I mean, what could they be saying? They could be putting a voodoo chant on us!" This from the woman who put a voodoo chant on Chuck at the racetrack, shrieking at him to hurry the hell up while he was clearly having a panic attack. "I feel tight! Hot and tight!" he mumbled. "It's not good timing, I know!" After 12 years of virginity, your timing is apt to be awful. But was Chuck experiencing claustrophobia, or some kind of a waking wet dream?

As if to make up for the cutthroat tactics, smeared eyeliner and matching outfits of Team Guido during the first season, the show's producers chose to cast hopeless romantics Chip and Reichen, thereby giving gay reality adventurers a far prettier, friendlier face. Aside from The Clowns, Reichen is easily the most likable contestant on the show this season: he's smart, easy on the eyes, and calmer than a cucumber in almost every situation, whether he's pulling a piece of a still-wriggling Octopus tentacle off his teeth or navigating an aquarium filled with great white sharks. And, on top of his grace, nice manners and striking good looks, he rarely seems to make mistakes. It's no wonder the only battle worth watching here involves Chip's relationship to himself. He berates himself constantly for not trusting Reichen's instincts or not following Reichen's lead. Most of the time, it seems like he's just mad at himself for not being Reichen -- and can you blame him? It almost makes you glad that you're not dating an even-tempered Adonis. But not quite.

Nice insights about Chip. I've been thinking/saying things sort of along those lines, but never put my finger quite on it. Poor guy. (I don't agree about Reichen being the most likeable character, though. He's a hottie, a sweetheart, and a great competitor, but lacks a bit of soul. I've always been fonder of Chip, and now I'm crazy about Jon. I think.)

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