More dispatches from the worst show on television. I know it's is not worth commenting on, I can't stop myself. Please don't try to stop me.

It finally produced some belly laughs this time, when the contestants finally expressed exasperation at Prince UnCharming. Last big date for each of them, and PUC is still insisting on interviewing them instead of emoting. (It's not until the latter half of the final date of the series where he actually attends one of his dates emotionally.)

After yet another litany, Prince UC entreats Brian to "Tell me a secret about yourself." "Do you have, like, a script over there?" he asks.

The little woos Franklin saves his annoyance for the post-date interview, or at least it's presented that way. At least Wes has the balls to say he doesn't really want to discuss his ex-boyfriend on their date, which frustrates Prince UC, who later informs us knowingly that he find this reluctance "kinda wierd."

Kinda wierd? Who picked this guy? Has he ever been on a date?

The funniest moment came right after Brian's script crack, when when the editors cut to voiceover of PUC saying, "I went into detective mode with everybody." They're going for irony, right? Tell me they're going for irony. I don't think they're going for irony. (If you've never seen the show, the irony is that the PUC is the Inspector Clouseau of reality-TV bachelors.)

Especially coming on the heals of his previous date, where he informed us that his big chance to discover if Franklin was the straight gay would come at the moment of the good-night standoff--and then PUC made no attempt to kiss him.

Next howler camd late on the final date, when PUC got very comforatable with the other airhead, Wes, and revealed a stunning secret: "In real life, I don't wear my heart on my sleeve." No shit!

Oh, I just had a really sad thought. Maybe this robot-performance on the show has been his version of emoting. Maybe he doesn't have any human qualities in real life. Wow. Did they think to interview this guy before they picked him, or did they just pluck him out of a stack of headshots?

It is fitting that the two airheads appear to have found the strongest attraction. (Insatiable enough to erupt into a half-second peck at the climax of their date. That's how riveting this show gets, when it's not plunging us into deep psychological probing like, "Who was the first person you dated?"--helpfully spelled out in subtitles, just in case we missed a word of it.)

Wes is a little drama queen who riveted his competitors after his date by describing the same damn pool much of the show has been set beside as "out of control," because the producers had added a bunch of candles for their cheap take-out meal. "And my face was like this," he says, and strikes his most dramatic jaw-drop, eye-bulge. Imagine his reaction next week, when they expose him to electricity.

The only thing rivaling the casting on this show was the editing. My favorite choice was the presentation of a minor little fire, which gathered strength very gradually, on camera, with the full knowledge of the contestants who discussed its progress at length. A stack of cheap tea candles packed end to end in an artless poolside display that left Wes "in awe" eventually merged and flared up, sending some wax flying, threatening, perhaps to set the stone deck or the water on fire, and the drama queen depicted it for the rest of the show as Indiana Jones scrambling for the arc of the covenant. Some editor then chose to match a shot of one lone production hand calmly dousing the candles with a twelve-inch fire extinguisher, looking rather bored, with a voice over of Wes describing "pure chaos."

Here's my theory: One witty editor on the whole pathetic staff has discovered to his dismay who he has signed on with, is appalled by the footage and sees no way out except to amuse himself sneaking in these hysterical ironies, secure in the knowledge that his employers are too stupid to catch on.

And then the show ends, building to the exciting conclusion of . . . nothing. No one eliminated, no news, no twist, just the end of the interminable hour. It's just that kind of show.