And now for the least interesting aspect of the show: the challenge. But first:

Biggest clue the Morgans are out of their minds? They elected that horrible Andrew their leader.

And boy was that fathead eating it up--even as Nicole and anyone who might have sampled the show on TV knew how stupid he was for taking the slot. And you can bet Osten will never forgive him.

The challenge was fun to watch as a brief diversion. No surprise that the Morgans lost, just that they almost pulled it out. Good job figuring out to make up time on the hard sand near the sea.

I highly approve of the nudity, even if it was a blatant grab at exhibitionism. Nothing wrong with a little exhibitionism. Maybe they were just trying to intimidate the Drakes. Now I will finish that gigantic comment. Osten bobbing around in those flimsy boxers, good lord: looked like he had more down there than the entire Drake team combined. And you know the Dynamic Drake Duo have flimsy little egos (and penises?) ready to wilt at the sight of that show of (strength?) Maybe that's why they fell behind.

Now the elimination. This is probably the least-obvious first elimination of any Survivor on record. No obvious candidates. Normally there are at least two. I guess I'll have to go with Lillian. She is such a freak of nature, chances are she has alienated everybody except her little sidekick. And buddying up tight with him just makes matters worse.

If not her, I don't have a clue. No way they'll throw off Osten till they get done using his back. And Andrew has little chance of winning the game, but he's not going anywhere for now. Haven't seen enough of most of the women to really gauge--and that means most of them are safe, because MB never kicks off a contestant without us developing a love or hate relationship with them first. Ryan S is a possibility. He didn't look like he was fitting in so well either.

Can't wait to see who it is, but I gotta run to the gym first. It's 10:43 and I still haven't worked out. No way I can watch the last 20 minutes, blog about it and still get one in. And haven't been there since NY. I'll be back to wrap up before I go to bed, though. I'll make one more prediction after I see the tribe discussions leading up to tribal council, and then one final wrapup at the end.

(And then I'll open a thread to take predictions for next week and the whole season.) God, I love http://blogs.salon.com/0001137/categories/survivor/ .

Rupert seems to have an odd conception of his role, but he's fun to watch.

And all the funner to watch Burton quietly go insane with jealousy at him for catching all the fish. That Burton is just plain adorable, but I don't know about his black heart. (Blackbeard and Blackheart?) He may still be alright, but for God's sake. Could he be more transparent strutting out there with his spear to bag a fish to feed his tribe. A fish? Eight people and he came big as the conquoring hero with one freaking fish? OK.

Hysterical that the big fat slob--which is I'm sure exactly how Burton thinks of him--picked up the spear and put him to shame. The look on Burton's face as he took off was priceless, even if they did just edit it in from a different situation entirely. That boy has one gigantic ego.

And speaking of gigantic . . . OK, I won't.

Those bugs would have been the end of me. Two big weaknesses of this boy: snakes and bugs. A back full of mosquito bites would have driven me out of my mind.

So would a nightful of Jon. The one thing that would get me in the most trouble on Survivor: a faux funnyman, especially the self-proclaimed sort. Blech! I would have gritted my teeth a few hours, then started making fun of him. Viciously. I would have had a mortal enemy by the first morning. I like Sandra already for despising him.

And those Morgan's: could they be any bigger fuckups? I can't believe they saw the rocks falling and built it there anywhere. And no floor? None of them watched a previous Survivor? Ever? And the joke is they searched everywhere for the water, but it was right on their map, right? (Seems that way. Didn't the Drakes find it marked on the map? And hasn't it been on the map every season? They really have never watched. Or never learned. Reminds me of a great angry, bitter Graham Parker song, Mercury Poisoning--(and gotta love that venting through art; Mercury was his record company): ". . . I've got a dinosaur for a representative / he's got a small brain and refuses to learn.")

The scout leader is a trip and a half. Just not in a good way, at least so far. Osten's reaction to her was pretty damn funny.

I can't believe they didn't buy clothes in the village (though I guess they had a lot on their minds). Love the improvising, though. I like to think I would have thought of the former, but would have been helpless on the latter.

Blackbeard. Thought I was going to hate hate hate him, but so far I really kinda like him.

Wow, Burton and Shawn are dicks! Especially Shawn.

It amazes me that Survivor is in what, its sixth season, and some people are determined to rush right in and repeat the most obvious mistakes of the first five. Do these people ever watch the show first?

The dynamic duo just take over, strutting around as the alpha males, assuring a bullseye on both their backs as soon as the early competitions are over and their backs are no longer needed. They were satisfied to screw themselves that way? They decided to think only of themselves and heckle their fellow castaways? Idiots. Assholes. (Early assessments, of course--they could prove different, and I'll say so if they do, but somehow I doubt it.)

(And to top it off, Shawn has already referred to himself as "myself" instead of me. Drives me a little nuts, but I've found it's quite useful as an quick personality indicator: close to 100% of the people who do it are assholes--the really bloodcurdling assholes somehow trying to look smarter by elevating their speech in comically incorrect ways that just make them look retarded. Can't wait to hear the rest of his linguistic gymnastics.)

Watching the body language of those two together is really something. Right now they're riding the power trip so hard, mating with each other as the two big baboons . . .

Too much. First two out of serious competition.

The Morgan's ran off without spending all the money?! Are they out of their minds?

They are looking more rash, impetuous and foolhardy by the moment. I'm going to make an early prediction right now: The Drakes will crush them. Of course that assessment could change again in 15 minutes; but that's my first impression. (Just as Mark Burnett wanted it to be.)

Sandra, wow. I am really impressed by that girl in the village. What a haul. Of course she's in her element both culturally and linguistically, but even so, I'm impressed. And her little puppy dog Jon isn't nearly as horrible as he was on his preview vids. Just a little horrible.

Rupert is looking hotter and hotter by the moment, but kinda stiff so far. Not sure I'm going to like that boy after all. Except looking at him. And speaking of stiff, was that boy wearing any undies? I never ever notice the goods down there (because I'm generally unobservant, or because I was trained as a straightboy always to avert my eyes?) but he had so much bouncing around down there he could have been signaling ships in from sea.

Good job by Osten selling his clothes, though I can't believe they all didn't. Thank you thank you thank you Mark Burnett for finally ending the racist casting. Is this the first black Survivor male ever not cast as some version of the angry black man, the lazy black man or the big dumb black man? It's about time. They still cast the big athlete black, but I don't mind all that ab meat to look at. Amazing body.

And Shawn, who I also disliked a lot from his vids is looking pretty scrumptous as well. Lot of great manmeat this time. And some beautiful women too, if you're into that sort of thing. (Feel free to swoon over the ladies in the comments.)

Two women shown squaring off for a catfight already. That's our Mark B. Still, could be fun to watch.

Produceman Ryan S seems pretty sensible. Or whiny, hard to tell. Sensible so far.

Nice casting after all Mark. Shaping up to be a really great Survivor. Potentially.

(If you're having trouble keeping the names straight, quick, easy guide at the Survivor home site.

Getting a late start because I fell asleep early this evening.

But the opening was fantastic. Nice twist. Loved watching their faces. And every time they have to hurl themselves off the boat it makes my heart ache that I'm not there. The hurling off into the great unknown metaphor is just too much for me.

Always interesting to see who goes for it. Burton first in. The lawyer I already despise from his intro vids and the produce clerk last.

Not sure how I feel about Rupert, the big fat pirate guy stealing all the goods from the Morgans. It is a game of lying and cheating, though, so I don't know what those Morgans were thinking.

Can't believe all those Morgans ran off by themselves. What? The Drakes definitely seem to have it more together so far. Definitely seem to be working together--and not yet getting screwed by Rupert.

Ryan O may have signed his own stupid death warrant, though I'm sure lots of people will do stupid things tonight.

First 15 minutes: one of the best Survivor openings ever. Hope it keeps up the pace. (And definite hotties in Burton and the big advertising guy. And Ryan O isn't bad either. (And some nice looking women, too, if you're into that sort of thing. Feel free to swoon over them in the comments.)) More coming soon.

(Or three or 6, depending where you live.)

I can hardly wait.

If you're still running that old VCR, 1) be aware that it's a 90-minute edition tonight, and 2) for God's sake, get a Tivo. You'll be so much happier. Greatest invention of the 20th century, some say.

Lively discussion of early impressions of the castaways here. If you haven't heard, video footage is available at the official Survivor site in advance this year.

Update: I will definitely post a response to the opening episode tonight. I'll try to have something up every week the night it runs. (I'm mountain time.)

I'll never shut up on Chip & Reichen!

Yet another interview with the boys here, at the All About RC site you'll really enjoy if you're into them. This interview covers some different ground than the others, and it sags here and there, but some in-depth stuff on logistics, and other interesting stuf I had not seen.

Especially after watching the Reality of Reality series on Bravo (actually I'm only half done) and being reminded how much editors sometimes manipulate events, it's always refreshing to read about the honest--mostly honest--shows. Chip responding to how they were edited:

I think we were portrayed correctly about 90 percent of the way. I think they did an amazing job and that really is everyone's character in general. There were a couple of times I think we were portrayed a little out of character. They might edit something. I was screaming at the cab driver in Korea saying speak English. That doesn’t mean that I expected him to speak English. I mean I've traveled the whole world and not everybody speaks our language. But at that particular moment we paid double the money to get a cab driver that spoke English; that was what our concierge said. It made me look like an ugly American, which was too bad, but I did say it. And when I was in Australia driving a dune buggy, they showed me as a bad driver because they wanted to pick that I ran over Reichen's foot and that I spun the car out. But they're here to tell a story. I think I was sometimes picked as a little over-aggressive and not smiling and having no personality, but pretty much I was serious the whole time.

Ninety percent isn't bad. And nice to hear his side of the cabbie thing, which he was so roundly trashed for on the web. I figured as much, and I totally buy his explanation.

(And compare 90% to a horror show like Big Brother. I watched the second season, heavily watching the web broadcast, along with a big contingent of Salon Table Talkers who were watching round the clock and posting. What a scam! That show was 50/50 reality and fiction. Just despicable. And the one big problem I have with Reality of Reality so far is that they got duped. They let the BB producers on several times saying how they have to be honest, because they've got a web audience watching their back. Truth is, they just disregard that, writing off all the people who know the truth, and then using the scam to convince people they must be honest. Those people are going straight to hell. So you have to wonder about all these shows. Generally, the classier the project, the more you can trust them. Survivor castoffs have not always, but generally been supportive about how people were portrayed.)

This from Chip really made me sad:

We’ve received a lot of feedback. The gay community is a very tight-knit community especially in the United States. A lot of people have their opinions and I think some people liked us. I think a lot of people liked Reichen because he has a wonderful demeanor and just a kind face. I think it’s a 50/50 split on me being really tenacious and people think that’s awful and other people look at me and think well, if that what helps you win; that aggressive nature.

We’ve also gotten a lot of nice feedback from kids, and that’s what Reichen and I really want. We’re there to really try to be role models for kids. When I was a kid my role model was Joe Montana, and growing up I didn’t have any role models that were gay because I didn’t come out of the closet until I was 24. And all we’re saying is that we’d like to put a role model out there that can help those kids feel comfortable that there are people out there like them, too.

Makes me feel a bit guilty about focusing on Reichen so much--and what a diplomatic way of saying "Reichen got a pass because he was so hot." Chip's really cute, too: with anybody else, he would have been the focus of fawning--which has to put a big strain on Chip's ego and therefore the relationship. It would sure make me feel like crap.

I'm so dissappointed and embarrassed for Chip (embarrased for the public). Fifty percent dissing him? That's ridiculous. He was a great guy. Hopefully I pointed out enough times in all my drooling over Reichen that I liked them both as people as well, but outside of looks, Chip was my favorite (of the pair: Jon was eventually my favorite on the show--and apparently he was theirs as well.)