Nice. My favorite Survivor challenge ever, tonight. Love the ones that are purely at test of wills.

And I liked that one in particular, cause I used to do it ever time I took a bath. When was that? My 20s, must have been. Minus the bars, of course. I loved to lie still and let the water rise, and watch little islands of flesh get cut off from the mainland. Always curious to see which pec would go first, never quite understood why. (And never kept track to see if it was always the same one.)

It wouldn't just be two pecs at first, though, I'd get an island low on each ribcage, too, but they wouldn't hold out long at all. Loved to watch my bellybutton fill up, always in a big rush. I tried to breathe really shallow as my chest was going under--one deep breath and I'd ruin it. The hairs were cool, once they started cropping up. Didn't seem to hold the water back at all, just provided a visual gauge: 13 more tiny little tree trunks washed away . . . then their tips would cling to the surface.

They missed out on all that tonight. Straight to the scary part. I used to love the feeling as it encroached my breathing. Mouth was no big deal, but it was surprising how important the eyes were. My brain assured me they were no included in the respiratory system, but their was no convincing them as the water surrounded them.

The hardest part was knowing when to blow. A little trickle of air out my nose was essential to keep the water out. Start it too soon and I wasted precious seconds of lungspace. But hold it a single moment too long, and the whole things was over. I was a champion breath-holder, could lie under there for way over a minute (maybe two?), but one blast of water up my nose and I was springing up onto the palms of my hands.

Ahhhhhhh, Survivor envy. Used to have it nearly every week the first couple seasons, haven't felt it in at least a year now. (For sure, not since that interminable All Stars season.) I guess tonight wasn't envy--didn't exactly want to be out there, but wistful that I never did it.

Meanwhile, I was slightly annoyed that the abandonment was only a single night. Anybody can live through one night of anything. At least two nights would have changed the psychological dymanics. When you're feeling like you'll never make it through the night, the idea of more nights recruits an entirely fresh feeling of hopelessness.

And when you wake up--for reach the dawn still awake--and face the thought of starting it all over again . . .

Well, that would have been an interesting lab-rat experiment.

But what a delightful surprise.

Was there one person in the entire x-million audience tonight who foresaw the experience envigorating Janu?

Maybe. Seems so obvious in hindsight. Her team winning all those challenges was the worst thing that ever happened to Janu. Nobody ever pushed her. She was never really needed. Interesting that she had never bothered to learn the most basic survivor skill like making a fire. Why would she if she could get away with it?

How many times have we all worked with an underperformer, who no one thought would amount to anything, only to watch them dazzle us when someone finally shoved them into a position of responsibility?

Some people underperform because they're underperformers. Some just hang out by the bottom because they can get away with it. Whether they know that's what they're up to or not.

It was obvious from the second Janu caught that fire that she was about to undergo a radical change. She had come to believe all the bad press about her and had adopted it as a way of life on that island until someone pushed her off and forced her to realize she wasn't incompetent.

Beautiful to behold.

Of course she didn't sell it too well when she got back.

Speaking of bad sales, Tom Tom Tom Tom Tom.

Not much surprise to see him win the test of wills. Or to see him win it as much with his head; along with Ian and Greg, I believe, all using their hands to keep their noses clear--that was strictly verboten in my bathtub, by the way.

But if had engaged his head just a little bit more, he would have kept his hands on the bars and let one of the others take it.

Does he think he has to win all the immunity challenges? How many times will I ask this question: Have these people seen this show before?

---

Huh. Had not watched tribal yet when I wrote that.

Should I take back everything I said about Janu?

Nah. Gave her a whole new image of herself, but not necessarily of the game.

Actually brings to mind the big problem with severely depressed people who go on antidepressants and kill themselves. The biggest danger zone is the first week or two, and the theory goes that they suddenly feel strong and vital and in control of their lives again--but they still see a miserable life ahead mirroring the one behind, so they take control of their life by ending it.

Isn't that exactly what Janu did tonight?

Hadn't thought about that till I started writing it, but I'm pretty sure that's what we just witnessed.

Meanwhile, Steph's breakdown at tribal. How many times is that girl going to break my heart?

Amazing to watch the determination on that face. To see how badly she wants it, how much it means to her.

Huh. I think I just got--finally got!--why people love watching sports so much.

Seriously. I had no idea. Sorry for all the eye rolling.

{We now bring you this Survivor post exactly one week late. Whoops. I was in Chicago last week, and my Denver PC updated itself with some stupid new Windows update and somehow gave itself permission to reboot--I hate that company--so access to my blog was over. Until I got home which was nearly a week ago, but by that was a day too long and I forgot. Sorry. Just in time to feed your Survivor appetite till I get around to this week's ep.}

One of the nicest side effects of the reality proliferation on TV is all these freaking homos in your living room. Hard to hate the whole class of gay people once you know a couple, and for a lot of people this is still the closest they're going to come to knowing any of us for awhile.

The downside is, they're getting to know some of us.

Coby. What a sad freaking excuse for a human being. He hates everyone. He hates them for working too hard, he hates them for working too little. Mostly he hates them for being happy.

I never much cared for The Grinch story, because I never fully bought the character. Just seemed a little farfetched, a cranky old prune cursing every moment of happiness down in whoville because he didn't share in any of it.

Man. Coby seems to have grown up aspiring to him as a role model. He hates people for working too hard, because it causes others pleasure, and he can't stand that. Most of all, he can't stand the gratitude they return.

Is he actually the first Survivor to diss his teammates for too much kindness? Or ass-kissing, in his universe. Even if it's a pair of strangers, coming to train them for 24 hours, he can't bear to hear praise heaped upon them. Apparently Tom is hoping to lure them into the next tribal council to win their votes.

Of course the "ass kissing" comment made no sense in that context, but then Coby is fooling no one. He despises all the little whos in whoville, because they share geniune human affection, and rather than try to win some too, he'd rather pout and plot and play the martyr and darken any corner he is unlucky enough to inhabit.

One sick human being.

So embarassed for him to embody every homosexual cliche imaginable, just to make it next to impossible for any viewer not to associate him with the whole lot of us. Ugh. So glad to be rid of him. To end that, and to end the dark pall he kept trying to cast into my life.

---

Meanwhile, another week, another round of unforgettable moments. Topping my list, the tremors coming over Steph's face when she realized the treemail was an edict of clemency for her solitary confinement. Followed by her inability to read it as it proclaimed her feat of outsurviving the rest of her team. And I loved the first words out of her mouth most of all: I'm going to have friends. And food!

Friends, and food, in that order, her mind hurled them at her. What a sweet commentary on the priorities of human existence.

I love this show. In spite of the cliche-only casting. I'd suffer through a hundred Cobys for one Steph and one Bobby Jon.

And now the competition portion of our game might start to get interesting as well.

Really liking this show.

Should I be admitting that publicly?

Thought I had enough detective shows for a lifetime, but I enjoy the mildly clever wit.

And always been a fan of the Wings guy. Not just his dimples, either, and he gets a lot more to do here. Love the way he says Hi 30 seconds into the conversation. (That one cannot be explained without seeing it. You'll know it when you see it. And hopefully smile every time as I do.)

Have I completely discredited myself? Hey, I Tivo every Masterpiece Theatre and The Daily Show, too. This one just seems to have a little spark.

What the hell was that Tuesday night?

I was in one hell of a mood. Wasn't just me, though, was it?

I always go in a bit moody coming off a non-elim round, though. That has to be the worst element of any (good) reality show ever. Why haven't they fixed that, yet? Couldn't they they just recruit more teams?

More on that later.

Meanwhile, Survivor tonight. Can't wait. So glad to see Coby go last weekend. Damn, did I never post my screed on that? Whoops. Let me find the email I was supposed to convert to blog-post.

Hopefully the banishment hyped on tonight's ep will be (relatively) real. Better not be a ten-minute banishment. Overhype is evil.