I'm still watching The Race finale. But the overpowering thing that keeps hitting me is the sad, recurrent theme wandering through nearly every season of this show.

Seems like every season, there's at least one abusive husband/boyfriend. This season, that Ray was a total dick, but POW Ron is giving him a run for the money late in the race.

Ron is probably not a jerk in general, just young and immature and totally unprepared to make any allowances for a partner fundamentally unlike him, i.e., a woman.

That's ugly to watch, of course: the way he snaps at her to leave him alone to do the task himself, then whine that she's not helping, then mimic her and ridicule her to the cameras for the most reasonable suggestions that they take a peek at the other teams finding much greater success.

He rarely misses a chance to put her down, lately.

The only thing more revolting to watch is her responding with anger in the very short term, then pleading for marriage proposals a few minutes later.

What? Just how much self-contempt can one beauty queen house?

He may be a jerk around her, but at least he grasps that she brings out the jerk in him. His fault or her fault, regardless, he loathes being around her at the moment. Whether or not they're ultimately right for each other--and have we seen any sign that they are?--he's clearly not ready for her now.

So which is it: Is she so desperate for a husband she'll settle for any abusive dick, or is some perverse instinct actually drawing her specifically to an abuser?

And Deana, the wrath of Ray's relentless rage early in the season? Marrying him, they announced on The Early Show earlier. Naturally.

Have the universities begun to employ these tapes in the psychology departments yet? We've all heard about this phenom of certain women (and men) drawn to their abusers, but there's nothing like the living horror of watching it.

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Meanwhile, after fighting the urges for months, I finally have to admit that I've come to kind of like Rob & Amber, especially Amber. They play the race ruthlessly, but I am constantly moved by the way they treat each other. Little moments. Like when Amber slipped on the riverbank in Jamaica, the way he rushed to help her, the tone in his voice making sure she was OK. They look after each other. They work together. I like that.

And people enjoy ridiculing her worthlessness, but I see her as his rudder. The calming influence he desperately needs. He's much sharper than I ever saw on Survivor, but his temper can get him in trouble. She is pure tranquility. When they screwed up a connection building the raft, she was like, OK, we'll fix that. No big deal. I just love the way she treats the local people she encounters, and I admire the calming effect she can have.

Of course Uchena and Joyce are just wonderful to each other and work like a well-oiled machine. Sure hoping they win. For a long time, I was against them, because they seemed to get lost every freaking leg, and didn't seem like worthy competitors. Don't know how they developed a sense of direction midway through the race, but they somehow mystically put that behind them. So I'm a very late arrival to their fanclub.

It would still make me a bit nauseas to see R&A win another reality show, but at this point, I could live with any winner but the beauty queen and her tormenter.