Tonight's Apprentice. Worst reality finale ever?

(Of the good shows, I mean.) Worst I ever remember.

Nothing happened!

At least the right person won, but that could not have been more obvious at the end of last week. Why would they present an hour of filler all by itself? If they had tacked it onto last week's it would have felt like two hours that dragged too long. But this? Nothing.

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And of all the things to nail Kendra for, tears of joy? What a dick. Worst moment ever for Trump.

I shared George and Caroline's concern about Kendra's early invisibility, though. And it seemed to hurt her when she did go up as PM. She had been invisible so long, no one respected her. Big hole to dig out of.

But she did dig, and was superior the past several weeks.

Especially last week. When a client offers you a job, that's huge. That's everything. Tana's clients were rolling their eyes.

Tana had to know she was in way behind coming in tonight, but she did a lame job presenting any of it. That bit about claiming credit for the shape of the Pontiac brochure, trying to blow that one feature up to be the entire project? Ridiculous.

The way she tried to make a mountain out of it and shout Kendra down just to glory in her one contribution, when she gave up and went to sleep on the task? Hard to imagine how she could have better demonstrated what a blowhard phony she can be. She has loads of genuine talent, but she always undermined it with her phoniness--previous lowpoint, the "We be talking now schtick" with the rappers--and tonight's outburst just screamed her inner bullshitter to the heavens.

Update:

Fun recap from Salon's Heather Havrilesky here.

Burnett really baffled me last week.

Either Kendra mopped up the floor with Tana in the final challenge, or he completely misrepresented it, start to finish.

So we approach tonight with the riveting anticipation of two possibilities: a foregone conclusion or an outrage.

Huh?

Why would he possibility set up his finale that way?

I've been hearing about America's Next Top Model being the best reality show on TV for ages now.

Wasn't buying it. Or didn't care. The inner life of models? Sorry, not interested. (Do models have inner lives?)

It was Joan Walsh that finally got me tempted, and Tyra Banks' off-her-meds eruption while I happened to be on the phone with a friend who had it on in the background that finally got me to tune in. (Hey! Remind me not to talk to people when they're watching TV.)

For about 20 minutes I thought it was incredibly stupid. That is, the contestants were incredibly stupid. And young, immature, shallow, idiotic.

But then some authentic pain started to surface, and some interesting elements about what really went into the craft.

I watched again. I liked it more.

By last night's final, I was enraptured. And when my little darling Kahlen was relegated to #2 I was deflated. (For about 40 minutes.) And then I went to sleep dreaming about how her whipping Naima's ass in the fashion industry for years to come.

(Seriously. I dreamt about it. First-ever dreams about the fashion industry. Didn't even know what kind of coups were important, had to make it all up. Hard dreamwork. I'm tired.)

And no one else to even talk to. No one I know even watches the show, except one straight buddy in Boston, and it was after 1 a.m. there by the time I watched.

Luckily, I found an old reality TV site last night, and the great Heather Havrilesky posting on the Finale on Salon.

(Update: Thursday afternoon I received a private message back on that site, from someone tickled to death that i had said "The last 15 minutes made me all tingly." Said he appreciated my gushing. Hehehe. Is that gushing?)

Heather was trenchant and hysterical as always. But she hated it. The emperor has no couture. (Heeheehee. If you've still never read Heather, what's the matter with you?)

Huh. The show has grown stale and predictable, she laments.

Huh. I bet it has. But only if you've been watching long enough to predict. Still new and fresh and illuminating to newbies like me. I had no idea they were even on their fourth top model until yesterday. I thought maybe two.

Moral? You can always appreciate art long after the zeitgeisters have tired of it and moved on, if you only you will thrust your head deeply into the sand and refuse to consider that something idiotic-sounding might be insightful.