Dave Cullen: Reality TV

About that Survivor casting

Wed, 20 Sep 2006 04:39:43 GMT

you know, if you're going to cast a show along ethnic lines, it seems pretty lousy to pack two teams with A players and the other two with a lot of duds.

that white team has one jock, though hard to say yet how smart he is, and i don't see a lot of other potential. the sorority girl and the "alternative" "rollergirls" are likely to be worthless on all fronts. they always cast dorks with little to offer as writers (bastards!). seems pretty weak.

the black team was the only one with zero apparent brawn, which is a pretty basic component. it's hard to know from one puzzle, but the first indication is that he didn't cast the brightest bulbs. but then he never does. from day one MB has cast one dumb black person after another, especially men. (dumb lazy black is his most frequent cast move of all, followed by flaming homosexual and mean, hypocritical vocal christian.

i feel worst for the christians, believe it or not. the first few seasons i loved chuckling along to how nasty the hard-core christians they were, the very soul of hypocrisy. by about the third one, i realized it was just bigoted casting. of course you can make every christian look like an asshole, every homo look like a queen and every black man look dumb and lazy if that's how you cast them. it's revolting.

and i have no problem with ANY of those people getting cast. does he have to make it nearly every time? mark burnett's idea of a homo seem to equal a boa. if you're not belting out showtunes, you don't get cast. so what a surprise that the apparent gayboy turns out to be a fashion director. mark, what a departure for you. but at least he's a hunky, athletic one. that's a first, isn't it? (with all the gayboys packing the gyms, you'd think he could have found one before. and something tells me the hard-assed, muscled, outdoorsy gayguys are the ones applying a lot more than the drag queens. i don't think most drag queens really want to be on survivor. and yet, mark finds the marys and only the marys.)

Survivor goes racist?

Wed, 20 Sep 2006 04:38:53 GMT

I would say, no. I thought the early protests about dividing the show into racial/ethnic teams was a little premature: why not see what they do with it, whether it's revelatory or racist. So far, so good. Though some of the casting aspects have always sickened me. (More on that in the next post.)

These comments made real-time as I watched Thursday (I just can't stop myself), posted now:

I just started watching the first ep, and I literally get the chills at the beginning. I will get irritated as it goes, but the whole idea of the social experiment of Survivor is just incredible. It was one wonderful idea. (That needs some heavy tweaking, but there's time for all that.)

I'm about 20 minutes in, and so far, the cultural-split stuff has been fascinating to watch in so many different ways. It was interesting to see the Asians being almost bewildered by the lumping of them, with good reason. What they basically seemed to be saying was, "uh, we're half the population of the planet. you whiteguys may see us all as one thing, but we're a whole bunch of different cultures." they are probably the most culturally mixed of all the teams.

also fascinating to hear "cowboy" introduce himself and they're all ultra whitebread assimilationist names, like brad. (and is brad the big gayboy? i'm wagering on it.)

several of the asians seemed uncomfortable with the asian jokes, stereotyping and grouping, wanted nothing to do with it, and the black group was nearly the opposite, doing a chant about Representing.

it does some kind of unfair that the deck seems stacked physically heavily in favor of the asians and latins. the blacks have a couple big fat guys, the whites have a couple jocks, and the asians appear to have two muscle studs and possibly two female athletes, and the latins have a pro athlete and a young guy who looks like he could be the smart version of bobby jon, who will hurtle himself full-bore into anything. climbing that tree and getting the coconuts was kind of amazing. and i laughed my ass off at jp calling him jungle book.

and jp . . . he seems whiter than me, culturally--as do several of the asians. which is kind of interesting. i'm surprised/sad burnett did not cast an oreo or two on the black team, though i'm not surprised. he's been casting stereotypes on this show since day one. (stereotyping every stripe imaginable, whether it's blacks, homos, hillbillies, evangelicals . . . he's kinda gross that way.)

it is interesting so far to see how some of the groups do approach things very differently, though, and especially in how they see themselves.

it might get VERY sticky down the road when alliances come into play, though. god, picturing it getting ugly and the whites cutting down a group of blacks or whatever . . . that could be unappetizing. it will be interesting to see if things like white guilt come into play, though, and if some of them can't bring themselves to do it (or do it publicly).

i have a feeling burnett will mix up the teams soon, though, and then we'll get to see which people stick to the ethnic/cultural lines and which do not.

but so far, very interesting show.

Amazing Race, revived

Wed, 20 Sep 2006 04:22:49 GMT

god knows why those emmy morons gave the reality-show award to amazing race, a once-great show that turned in two pitifully boring seasons this year. (especially when project runway was the best show of any genre on TV all summer--except maybe the colbert report.) the family edition was a disaster, the challenges had grown easy, the show predictable, and the crucial casting element just awful--way too much stunt-casting with way too many brands of nasty shouters, no one actually interesting, much less likeable.

so. i tuned in to the new season, just in case they overhauled it. (i wrote the following sunday night on my laptop as i watched. i'm a little delinquent in posting.)

ten minutes in, and i'm greatly relieved by the casting.

they really have assembled some interesting groups, at least at first glance. and glad to see they went all the way for some true diversity this time: three different asian cultures represented instead of one token "asian" group for half the world's population. the indian team looks interesting--and nice--and the muslims are likely to provide a different perspective. and my first reaction to the east asians was negative, because they were bragging about where they went to college--gag me; even though i'm sure the producers put them up to it--but i got a good chuckle when they said they were heading to the homeland and then cracked up that they weren't chinese.

unfortunate that they had to cast yet another apparently annoying, self-absorbed, conceited and stereotypical gay couple. why do they have to keep dipping into that same well?

the lesbian and dad was much more interesting, though i gaped that a parent could be so insensitive to say he was disappointed in his daughter on national tv. i was appalled before he said why--i was thinking, "god, what could she have done? robbed a bank? killed a person?" oh, she was born gay. what a crime. what a dick.

part of me thinks it will be interesting to watch them work some of that out, but mostly i think he's got to be a real dick to do that, and i hate watching the dicks on this show. i predict he'll find infinite ways to illustrate what a dick he is.

model/recovered-drug-addicts is also a clever category that i would not have considered. (i was disappointed they only used model for the subtitle ID during the show.) they could prove to be totally vapid, incredibly preachy, or really self-aware and interesting. i'm hoping for the best. and always nice to get some eye-candy, though i'd prefer them with a little meat. they're not too into the beef-casting on this show, though, especially compared to, say, survivor. (where they're half naked most of the time, so it's more relevant.)

who am i forgetting?

oh, more single moms: always nice to have, but they tend not to be with us long. (doesn't this show tend to cast rather weak black teams? there was that one really strong team in i think the second season (or the first?) that almost won, but since then, i can't remember any strong ones.)

god, the coal miners. interesting choice for color, though again, we're only likely to see them briefly. and that poor woman. she basically said that her husband has always been in charge, but on the race he's going to have to learn to be 50/50. god, she has a world of disappointment coming. i applaud her goal and her positive spirit, but lady, if you married a guy who expected to be in charge, and then you let him run the show your whole marriage to-date, do you really think an ultra-stress race around the world is the best moment to radically redefine your marriage? and you think it's a good idea to televise the inevitable war? timing is everything. and he's not going to change overnight, girl. god, i hope she doesn't actually believe what she said, though she seems to.

oh, casting the one-legged woman and her new boyfriend has potential. she does show signs of being the preachy martyr type, but hopefully they were just editing in the worst of her interview moments and she'll let her abilities speak for themselves most of the time.

this seems like a 100% more interesting cast than the last few lame seasons. at least these people have potential. the last couple groups were just incredibly dull, and almost all unlikeable.

---

and let's hope phil wasn't wildly exaggerating about the changes. this show desperately needs some. not that it was a bad format; it's just getting a little tired for those of us who have been with them since the start. in years past they only made the tiniest of tweaks, most of which had virtually no impact. hopefully they really realized they should switch things around a bit before they have lost all their audience. we'll see.

---

ok, halfway through. the early elim was definitely cool. it will be much more exciting knowing that people are vulnerable at every moment. though i doubt they'll use it much, and i fear it means more dreaded non-elim rounds, which i loathe.

but it sure beats knowing that the first half of the show makes almost no difference. (it will just usually make no difference.)

meanwhile, one of the most hilarious lines ever: Do muslims believe in Buddha? Good God.

which reminds me: two airhead-chick teams? what was the point of that? (and why are 80% of the airhead teams they cast young women?)

but what was the deal with the muslim guys not shaking hands? (or just not with women?) either way, i lived in muslim countries for two years and never heard of such a thing. an unusual sect? i guess we'll never know.

---

OK, I'm an hour in (took a long break to do some work), and have to say I'm really enjoying this one.

Really glad the prettyboys appear to be pretty bright, and also seem quite nice. So far. (It was touching to see them choked up about the other team getting kicked out so unexpectedly.)

And I may have spoken too soon on the single moms. This pair might be a lot stronger than a lot of the moms they have cast. They're definitely strong-willed, and appear to be pretty sharp. And kind of funny. I really like them so far.

It was a shame to see the muslims go so soon, but I already found myself rooting for the Korean guys. I think I'm going to like them.

---

oh, and the dating people . . .

i guess if you're dating and Amazing Race casts you, you can kiss your relationship goodbye. it basically means that the producers watched you interact, stifled their laughter in front of you, and howled it up as soon as you left the room.

they generally only seem to cast completely dysfunctional couples. why can't these people see how awful they are for each other?

the one-legged woman, and her man--i don't know. she broke my heart climbing up those stair with her malfunctioning prosthetic leg. i wanted her to win so badly for a little while there. but other times, she rubs me kinda wrong--and WHAT is she doing with that control freak? he can be so awful to her. the brick-laying was revolting to watch. he wants her to be his handmaiden--never mind that he was fucking it up.

---

OH NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

i finally finished. i can't believe Team Karma is gone already. i loved them.

oh well.

surprising to see such a tough challenge thrown at them in the first round. many of the challenges have gotten incredibly easy the past several seasons--especially the early rounds--and it was really boring to watch. (last season one challenge was to ride in a helicopter and admire the scenery. they've had more and more like that. the absolute nadir was the family season, where half the challenges seemed to be watching them be essentially spectators.) the producers really seem to have reinvigorated this series. i can only hope it continues.

it was kind of amazing to watch them all overcome that wall. so many of the teams were sure they couldn't scale it.

nothing really matched that one-legged woman. wow. (dramatically it was a shame she went so soon. whose hardship could compete with that?)

though the wonder in seeing her finish it was tempered by the sadness that she's probably doomed. she was lucky--or skillful--to be well out in front, and in a huge field on this one, but sooner or later, she's likely to face a challenge like that--or even a footrace, or a simple staircase (they have a LOT of staircases on this show), soon after an equalizer, and she's going to get left in the dust.

but what amazing fortitude. and who knows, maybe she'll last longer than i think. plus, it's not necessarily winning for everybody, especially her. if she can outlast half these teams, and experience things like scaling the great wall of china, i think she'll go home a happy woman.

but on the downside, is she so enamored with her hero/provider that she never noticed what a big homo he is? sometimes he seems SO gay.

and speaking of that . . .

the prettyboys? anyone? sometimes they seem like total straightboys, but then there are moments . . .

i feel a little bad for saying that, because i think it's actually cool that two straightguys can be that close. but i did get a vibe sometimes, especially from the darker-haired guy. i think he may have a thing for the other one. maybe. or just wishful thinking. (nothing like last season, where those two fratboys were just jonesing for each other's bods, and protesting way too much that they were straight.) probably not with these two. but maybe.

the show actually feels re-invigorated in a whole lot of ways. like zipping us right to china, and giving us the great wall in ep 1. most seasons they seem to fritter around in more ordinary settings for a long time, before we can work our way to something exotic. (though way back in season two, didn't they go almost straight to argentina? it's been awhile.) nice to see them plunging right in, in a whole lot of ways.

oh, and new funniest line from the episode. when the squabbling daters jump into the cab and he says they want the great wall, and she clarifies, very sternly, the great wall of china. hahaha! too much!

What's with all the goofball Apprentice finalists?

Sun, 18 Dec 2005 03:34:43 GMT

The Apprentice is one of the few good reality shows I still enjoy.

And I think Trump has picked the best candidate every time. By a mile. And I usually agree with his weekly decisions. With one big exception:

Why the hell does he always send one bozo to the finals? Does he want the finale to be pointless and obvious every time?

It has happened every time I can remember. Rebecca was the worst yet.

I just never got what was so good about her. A lot of hot air and medicore contributions, lots of bad decisions.

And on the final event, she nearly proved me wrong. Great job handling all the details. Too bad she completely blew the main objective.

I can't believe Trump and crew dismissed it as one little flaw. A fundraiser that raised nothing? Wow. That's one of the biggest failures they've ever had on the show. (Maybe second after the time this season that they actually reduced sales with that batting cage fiasco.)

And not figuring out who her client was? What? That's not just a failure, that's a failure to grasp the assignment. That's failure at business 101.

If she did that on any task all season, she would have been fired, no question. I couldn't believe she had the nerve, in her summary to say that Randall was great at details but didn't always see the big picture. Was she trying to describe her own performance?

I just don't get how/why Trump was going to hire them both. Is he just mesmerized by her for some reason? I love that Alla said she never saw Rebecca show any skill. Neither did I, from anything they showed all season.

And of course Randall looked bad refusing the two hires, but I think it was shitty to put him in that position. I think he figured out in an instant that if he said yes, they would always be seen as the two winners, meaning he wouldn't really have won, he tied. It's like asking someone who just won a race at the Olympics, "How about if we award two gold medals?" Uh, no, actually, that idea kinda sucks.

I was surprised he didn't agree to it anyway, realizing he'd look bad, but I'm kinda glad he didn't. But trump should not have put it on his shoulders. If he wanted to hire two, hire two. Why should randall have to be responsible for that?

I have a feeling the producers thought it would be a great gimmick and Randall would feel he had to, and they didn't really seriously consider the possibility he'd say no. We makes me all the happier that he took a big shit on their stupid manipulations. They kinda deserve it.

Glad he won, anyway.

They say Ernest Hemminway blew his brains out because . . .

Mon, 12 Dec 2005 04:46:53 GMT

. . . it was the only way he could stop himself from damaging his good name any further.

That line always made me so sad. Sure hope I never get there.

But it occured to me tonight as I treated most of the Survivor finale as radio while I made dinner, watered the plants and blah blah blah.

Remember when this was a great show? A huge pop culture phenom, and a fascinating psychological experiment? That first season was just one of the most brilliant things ever devised for television. Just blew me away.

Who's ever going to remember that now? It's just this tired old show running through the exact same motions.

Not sure why I still watch, except it's hard not to hope. I usually end up watching it around Saturday or Sunday morning, over breakfast or lunch or something, when all the better shows for the week are expended. Sure wasn't about to sit through three hours of it tonight. Watched about five minutes of the reunion tonight. Who cares?

I used to.

Well, reality TV had a great run. A handful of really interesting shows, along with all those reams of dog crap. And there are still a few gems out there. I still enjoy the Apprentice, and watched the opening of Project Runway's second season over lunch today--that show is something to behold. Even for a homo without my fag licence. I don't get fashion, I've never been into fashion, but this show is really interesting. No time to analyze why, and plenty of people have already done it, but I loved the first season, and already hooked again.

I take back everything good I said about Amazing Race Family

Thu, 08 Dec 2005 04:33:59 GMT

OK, just a quickie.

It's no secret that Amazing Race Family was a horrible mistake, so I won't belabor the point. But since I expressed enthusiasm for the new interesting windows it opened at first, let me go on record retracting. It did have lots of potential, and blew it.

Worst of all, almost no interesting people, except The Hypocrites, that horrible Weaver family that goes around dissing everyone and wondering why no one likes them, invoking Jesus' name at every opportunity, but apparently oblivious to all he stood for.

And the challenges? Sorry, "challenges"? Last night they had to dress up and get their picture taken. That must have been stressful. Just awful. Enough.

Reality is almost dead. But I sure do love Boondocks.

Remember that great show, Survivor?

Sat, 22 Oct 2005 23:58:20 GMT

Yes, I'm still watching; no, I can't quite explain why.

Habit?

Hope?

An occasional great moment?

Is that enough explanation?

I don't hate it by a long shot, I just quit looking forward to it since the ghastly All Stars debacle, found I was compelled to watch The Apprentice before it as soon as that show got started, now it's often Saturday or even Sunday before I get to it.

And feel the itch to hit the FF through much of it. I haven't yet, but I'm wanting to.

It doesn't help they seem to have purposely cast this as The Dumbass Season. They've always included dummies in the casts, but this season they've packed the jungle with them. Not so much the women, but man after man after man.

The two baboons bouncing their chests off each other like a couple of apes from a Diane Fosse documentary this week was the ultimate nadir. Not that it didn't make for a great laugh, but it was one of the few bright moments these morons have provided. The rest of the season, we're stuck with them acting just as stoopid, but without the unintentional comedy.

(Intentional by the editors of course, just not the actors.)

This show was getting dull enough already.

Hey, where's the great TV? Seems in such shrinking supply lately.

Hmmmm. Maybe anyone guilty of following a brilliant with a but deserves it.

Last refuge of the modern scoundrel

Mon, 17 Oct 2005 02:08:15 GMT

If you've been watching Survivor this season, particularly this past Thursday, you probably came to the conclusion that Blake Towsley is kind of a dick. If you missed him on The Early Show the next morning, you have no idea.

On Thursday, you had the footage of him babbling incessantly about his infinite superiority--about his high school state sports championship, about his girlfriend's size double-D breasts, about his wild drunken debauchery--and you had the outcome of the episode: his three original tribemates, who had everything to gain by sticking together, may well have written themselves out of contention just to get a human being so vile out of their vicinity.

That was nothing.

Friday morning, after months away from the game to get over his astonishment and anger over being disliked, and mere seconds after thumping his chest for having played the game so honorably, he chose the most spineless method possible to slander his former adversary Brian with what he surely regards as the ultimate insult.

Brian badmouthed him in Guatemala, and apparently engineered his ouster. Blake got his revenge Friday by "accusing" Brian of being gay--by pretending to "defend" him.

Judge for yourself. I transcribed his full screed, no edits or omissions of any kind (though I didn't bother with a few quick echoes of his comments from Harry Smith, spoken at the same time as Blake, in the midst of it):

"The thing that I wanted to come away with more than a million dollars was my honor and my integrity, and I did that. The one thing that was kind of--everybody in the, everybody on the cast and everybody thought that that Brian was gay. And made it a big issue, and a big hot topic and I was, you know, he was adamant about defending himself on that and never once did I speak a bad word about Brian. They had me in interviews and they're like, He's not gay, but everybody thought he was. Brian and myself were the only two the exceptions to the rule. So I'd tried be a good guy for everybody. I think I got out right before it got ugly."

Yeah. Until now.

It's bad enough to out someone on national television. To "accuse" someone who claims not to be on--especially by pretending to defend him--yow. How low can you get?

It's no insult to me, but I'm quite sure it is in Blake's world. Still the most damaging epithet you can slap a guy with in many circles. It's disgusting to do that to Brian, and more disgusting to gay people to use the "charge" as an insult.

Blake mentioned watching the show every Thursday night, and knew damn well the producers had chosen not to air any of those "allegations." So he knew it had probably never crossed the minds of most straight people in the country, and how easy to point it out for them. And if they did already suspect, he was all to eager to provide the compelling evidence that everyone there--other than Mr. Integrity, of course--thought it was true.

Playing the gay card. I keep forgetting we're not past that.

And Harry Smith, of course, said nothing about the slimy slam.

Yes, still more on The Amazing Race--something nice, this time

Mon, 10 Oct 2005 04:19:44 GMT

the coolest thing about this edition is the striking age disparities within the teams--nearly all the teams--which has almost never been true before. on nearly every team, the oldest member(s) of assumed the leadership, and it's fascinating to watch how on some teams their age makes them much stronger--than their children--while in others, it makes them much weaker than their adult daughters or sons in law.

do i feel for those people trying to lead their team, but knowing they're mainly dragging it down.

and the parents of children have such a different challenge: swallow the anger they must feel about their kid handicap, hold back the urge to lash out at the people dragging them down and encourage them instead. i am so utterly impressed by the gaghans and blacks and that christian family for doing that, so disgusted with the two families that pulled up the rear this week. and what a surprise that they were the last two.

(and it's nice to see an overtly-christian group on one of these shows actually act christian for once. so far, i'm really impressed with the way they treat each other.)

also no coincidence, i think, that the two teams with all four members closest in age came in near the top this week.

Amazing Race, the gross families

Mon, 10 Oct 2005 04:13:08 GMT

i liked episode two of the race nearly as much as the first, for mostly the same reasons.

but i've got to unload about the revolting families.

god. of course this show always casts several revolting teams, but rarely before have we had the chance to the horror that is one of these contestants, and the people who made them that way.

that bickering family from new jersey. are there words to convey the level of my disgust?

most of all for the mom. she constantly whines and complains about how they don't listen to or respect her, and she's right, it is disgustly to behold, but is the reason for it really beyond her vision?

look in the mirror, lady. all they're doing is mimicking your behavior. you have clearly been modelling it for them their entire lives, and they have grown up with all the values you instilled in them.

ugh. she does nothing but belittle and berate them, and respond precisely in kind. i don't even think they (only) doing it to get back at her, i'm guessing they treat everyone the way she does. she trained them, she's got to live with them.

unfortunately, so do we.

the only thing more galling than watching a woman destroy her family like that, though, is watching her then complain about it.

hideous. just hideous. can't parents like that have their licence revoked or something?

but . . .

while she appears to be the season's most horrifying character overall--so far--one of her peers actually outdid her on ep 2.

Most Nasueating Moment of the Week came right after the father in that horrible family eliminated this week put his son behind the wheel. dad put all the responsibility for finding the exit on the kid: you're the driver, you're in charge, it's all on you.

what? you've got three other people in the car, what the hell are you all doing? any decent team--most of the other teams--had all four people aggressively on the lookout. in fact, most successful teams over the years have put primary responsibility on the navigator, who is not driving, not dealing with all the mechanics of driving. the navigator is free to follow the map, watch what roads and landmarks they are passing and insure they're on course.

this was complete idiocy on the dad's part, but there was clearly much more going on. he was so obviously setting his son up. he grudgingly gave up his authority role at the wheel, and was practically drooling over the prospect of his son failing. his first act in the back seat was to pull back and do nothing, instruct everyone else to do nothing, and strand his son out there to fail, shaking the kid's confidence too by remarking steadily on how inevitable that failure was. he could just not wait for his moment, and then gleefully kicked him out of the front, took over again at his rightful position behind the wheel.

what a dispicable man.

maybe it's just a phase--where his son is finally coming of age, and for the first time in his life, he sees himself about to be surpassed in countless ways by his own progeny. maybe he's not always a dick, but he sure was here.

one of the most revolting displays i've ever seen on the show. right up there with that wife-beating dwarf with the blue hair and his blond wife the enabler. at least she was an adult, she was responsible for marrying the complete asshole. to see this kind of treatment of a kid. ugh.

and it was clear from the guy's many comments, and especially his post-loss interview that this was not an isolated incident. he's quite articulate about his dad being deaf to any ideas that come out of his mouth, but luckily he doesn't yet seem to see why. jealousy.

makes me feel grateful i never felt a hint of that from my dad. he's got his problems, for sure, but he's always been proud of me, never once seemed to worry about me overshadowing him. seemed to relish it.

thanks, dad. (maybe saying that here will atone a tiny little bit for almost never saying it to him in person. ugh. do i have to call him? don't you hate it when you see total jerks on tv and suddenly notice what a jerk you've been yourself in an entirely different way?)

---

it shows in the way they treat the people around them, too. did you notice how the bickering family just hurled the "wounded" guy they were carrying to the ground like a sack of potatoes when they hit the finish line? that was a person there, landing on his back on the hard lumpy ground with nothing but a sheet of burlap underneath. all they seemed to care about was their own relief.

meanwhile, the gaghans put their guy down a lot more gently, but still apologized.

(of course who knows about editing. maybe the bickersons apologized too at some point, but why do i doubt that?)

Downside of The Amazing Race Family

Mon, 10 Oct 2005 04:01:36 GMT

What's with this driving tour of PA and Jew Jersey?

I've already driven on that expressway. And hundreds like it. What happened to taking me to places I'd never been?

I don't get it.

And I understand most of this season is going to be that way. Ugh.

The absolute nadir of this element came in ep one, when the father-in-law expressed his wonder at getting to hand a costumed guy the guy the flag, and then watching him fold it up. Folding a flag? This guy needs to get out more. And what was with the long slow shot of the flag getting folded. That's a compelling visual? I could fold a flag at home. I have folded a flag at home. What were they thinking?

Not quite up there with the season contestants spent time in Nelson Mandela's cell. I have not been there. I am not likely to, though I have put it on my list ever since I saw that ep. One of the best things about this show is the places it takes us.

Further, please.

Update:

It's becoming clear that they have decided that instead of just taking us to faraway places this season, they will take us to faraway times. We're not just visiting the U.S. or its historical sites, but re-enacting the past.

Well, interesting idea. I give them props for thinking of it, trying it. And it's not completely unsuccessful so far. But they do seem to be demonstrating that contemporary cultural differences are much easier to bring vividly to the screen than American history--at least in this sort of entertainment TV vehicle.

But . . .

I am starting to see some upside to the historical re-enactments? While trite and routine in a lot of ways, perhaps they will add a bit of excitement to the challenge. I've been to a civil war re-enactment--for a feature story, for my college paper--and believe me, it's not that exciting. But as background to last week's challenge, it really added something. This time, it felt like more than nine teams running around doing some goofy task, they were doing it among a whole lot of . . . well, distracting movement and scenery, I guess. Distracting in a good way. Added to the sense of pandemonium. And color. And a lot of things. An all-around richer experience.

So that's some upside.

'oh my gosh, it's the rugrats!'

Mon, 10 Oct 2005 03:42:25 GMT

That should have been the title of the first ep of Amazing Race.

Sure gave me a good laugh. Prolly not out of context, but if you saw it . . . The sheer horror on the face and in the voice of that (woman?--I've already forgotten) as she realizes that nearing the elimination mat, the team only seconds behind her is the family with the two little kids. Priceless.

So I had my doubts about Amazing Race Family Edition. Big doubts.

But I tuned in anyway, and God did I hate the family crap.

Even worse than my worst fears. I had figured the change could go either way, and it went worse.

For the first hour.

Now (I scrawled much of this post while watching the first ep, over a week ago), I am outright giddy for the next installment.

Once again the Race producers illustrate their wisdom in opening with a two-hour ep. Not just a marketing manuever, it takes that long to start bonding with all these people. To see enough sides of them to begin to love them.

Some favorite moments from that ep:

The guy from jock family, getting into the car soaking wet in his best Pee Wee Herman impersonation, "I'm free-zing."

Then, just moments (in TV time), a shot of him all dried off, bravado back, imagining out loud his retardd come-on to the team of adult sisters: "Hey ladies. I love older women. HrrrRuffffff!" Luckily, he's not entirely serious and might turn out to be a playful guy. More luckily for him, his brother laugh at him. dimples blaring as soon as they smile. "You are so out your league right now."

Every shot of that little six-year-old girl from the Gaghan family. Just too adorable for words.

The terrified look on the young Black boy's face (wow, that sounded racist. But it's his name) when his parent were acknowledging to each other that they were completely lost. In all the hundreds of hours of reality show footage to-date, I don't believe there has been a reaction shot quite like that one before. (OK, on any of the good reality shows. I'm not monitoring most of the reality dreck, but I'd say odds are in my favor.)

Picture Richard Hatch on the first Survivor, making a ghastly blunder, and then a cutaway to his son, grasping the impact and distraught at the implications. Now picture the son actually competing as a teammate with him, and about to be brought down with him. Horrified at his own loss as only a young kid can be, and his image of his father as unbeatable hero simultaneously shattered.

Every kid has him heroic image of his father crushed, but we rarely get to witness it on television. Quite the powerful moment. (Of course it's not a life-altering crush, but for the moment . . . Well, if you saw the little Black kid gape, you know how deep that moment penetrated. For a moment there, there was much more than a million dollars at stake.)

This show brought out so many elements I never would have expected, that I've never really seen in a reality show before. Really something.

But by far my favorite moment, and apparently one of my faves in the short history of the series:

That footrace to the mat between the Gaghans and the car-crash family. I found myself leaping off the couch and jumping up and down in my living room when that little six-year-old girl outran one of the high school kids to the mat. Something I'd never before done to this show outside of a final.

I didn't hate the car-crash family, it just amazed me to see that little kid make that happen. Suddenly I feel so paternal. Somehow, during the course of two hours I seem to have adopted her.

Forbidden to post now, but . . .

Tue, 04 Oct 2005 18:11:58 GMT

Two things.

I'm not allowed to post during the day, but just realized The Amazing Race is back tonight and I never posted the thoughts I scribbled down about the new family addition when I finally finished it this weekend. Short story: hated it at first, grew to really like it.

I have some thoughts on the new Supreme Court nominee, but that will have to wait. Meanwhile, check out my friend (and big-name blogger) Jeralyn Merritt's TalkLeft. Jerri is a brilliant lawyer, astute on politics, very well conected, and has served with the new nominee and spent a day with her. Not much on the latter, but more than most of even official Washington.

She'll be all over it for the next several weeks, and you'll find some of the best stuff there.

Martha, clueless

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 06:12:22 GMT

and i defended that woman last week!

i didn't quite get the flurry of bad reviews for the first episode of martha stewart's apprentice. what were they expecting, some radically redefined show?

i have always found the apprentice entertaining and interesting--aside from the dearth of long-term suspense about the winner each season, because of the exceptionally low-quality casting. (high on entertainment value, very low on leadership talent.)

and the creatives vs. the corporates this was easily the most interesting breakdown yet. hysterical to watch each group struggle without their missing half. sad to see the creatives self-destruct so hopelessly.

i hate to god to admit this, but they're so pitifully outmatched by the corporates. those suits lack just as much, but they were blessed with the part of the brain that says, "No problem, I'll just hire that." they're right. maybe the creatives can hire themselves a leader next time.

(though i do think they've got a few among them, they just have to step up to the role. it will be tough for the best manager to herd those freaks, but all the more a true leader will shine when she emerges.

so martha's apprentice gave us a great concept with expert execution and a few minor twists: her personality and the new matchup. enough. two great hours a week instead of one. they're likely to wear down the brand twice as fast as burnett did with survivor, but i'll enjoy it in the short run.

and then week two, martha had to make a complete ass of herself.

poor woman doesn't even understand her own show.

her first question to the losers was idiotic: Dutch girls, what does that have to do with the brand?

what? their assignment wasn't to build your brand, you didn't set up the criteria as being a long-term play for your company, they were assigned a one-shot stunt to make as much money as possible in one day, with no long-term consequences, because the business had no long term existence.

then she scoffed that the dutch girls were Tacky! no shit. everyone on that team knew they were tacky--short tacky stunts sometimes sell in the short run. that's what donald's apprentice has been all about. they're tacky like him, and they make money in the short run like him.

but she's announcing one criteria at the outset--revenue--judging them on another.

if you want to run an apprentice contest based on longer-term goals like brand building, that's much more interesting, more complex, and a much more realistic assessment of real business sense. but you've got to design a show that actually encourages that. you're working with a completely different concept.

incredible. the woman had the least sense of anyone in the room what her show was about tonight. sad.

and she made a terrible decision on top of all that. chuck obviously had no business on this show, but at least he wasn't ripping it apart like jim. she could dump chuck any time. his passive ineptitude isn't going to drag them down once he's out of the leadership spot. sure it disqualifies him from winning, but they've got more immediate problems on that team.

the guy makes a comically inept Machiavelli who will be lucky to last another week or two, but and they probably all know this and laugh at his long-term chances. but in the short-term, they're terrified of his wrath, and no one is ready to speak or act freely in front of him--except of course dawn, who and they all see where that got her. (not that she was any prize to begin with, but she hasn't deserved his onslaughts.)

that team has got enough trouble working together without that snake terrorizing them. martha gives a big speech about her teams needing to work together, and then rewards that aggressively hostile force.

one blind executive there.

NOTICE: See you on the weekends

Mon, 26 Sep 2005 17:17:40 GMT

Hey. You might have noticed I'm rarely here during the week these days.

Yes, by design. Trying to keep my focus entirely on my book during the week. Hence the big one-day bursts on Saturdays and Sundays. So look for me then. (Or on Mondays when you get back to trolling the web at the office, while your boss is away. heeheehee.)

OK, better try that bigger:

LOOK FOR ME MOSTLY ON THE WEEKENDS UNTIL THIS BOOK IS DONE!

Occasionally I may stop by in an evening, if I've had a great day and deserve an indulgence, or maybe once in awhile for a quickie. (Like just now. I figured since I was here to let you know this, I could pound out a quick reaction to the Housewives.)

But hopefully you'll see a lot of self-control.

See you Saturday.

When . . .

Thu, 15 Sep 2005 20:43:08 GMT

Survivor Survivor Survivor . . .

The incredible shrinking cultural phenomenon. Remember when just the mention of that word set us shivering in anticipation. Some of us, anyway.

Yes, of course I'll be watching tonight--even though it means bumping The OC, which got really stale really fast, by the way, hopefully only a temporary condition--but it's nothing like the old glory days, is it?

Too bad they never got around to fixing this game.

Still, it's always good for a few fresh psychological insights. And it will always be special.

---

Update:

So here's a little question on overwriting. You think that second line of this post--"The incredible shrinking cultural phenomenon"--was overkill?

Explaining the obvious, or illuminating the ambiguous?

Sometimes I really wonder.

On a lighter dirt note . . .

Tue, 28 Jun 2005 23:50:57 GMT

Why on earth do I keep watching these Real World/Road Rules challenges?

They're always idiotic. And even the characters I liked on the Real World come off looking bad. Immature even compared to their shows of origin.

Yet I get sucked in, can't let go. I will never allege, however, that these shows are any good. Just that I have trouble resisting.

And they sometimes make me feel dirty too, though in a far more trivial way than the above post. That book has had me on edge all ten days I was reading it.

One paralell, though. CT. Ugh. Not that he's in any way evil like the murderer in True Story, just that he totally had me fooled. He was such a jerk to his housemates on his Real World, but he always kept insisting that he was trying really hard and misunderstood, and I wanted to believe him so badly I did.

Some people can be extremely convincing. Helps when they've got an editor working their cause, of course.

And those Real World editors. They are notoriously dishonest, but the weird thing is how they cop to it, just slightly after the fact. They just finished their RW/RR Challenge series, and end with a reunion/tell-all show, where most of the telling is about how openly, aggressively they distorted the truth? Seriously. It's like a hatchet job on themselves. Or a laugh job on what chumps we are, how easily and effectively they conned us.

Good God. Professional con artists. Loathsome creatures.

And I was just starting to feel clean again.

Fading fast, but . . .

Fri, 24 Jun 2005 22:19:32 GMT

. . . but still better than most of the summer garbage on TV.

After my little rave about how much I enjoyed the first episode of Kept, of all things, it took exactly one more episode to lose its charm.

These guys were just too trashy and idiotic, even to laugh at.

At first it was hysterical to watch how quickly Jerry Hall saw right through Ricardo Suave's blatant insincerity, and to see her take on their encounters edited against his. But then we still have to watch him. And he is insufferable. I don't care how good he looks. And he does look good. Really good. But sorry, no one is that pretty.

Then again, maybe I was just in a bad mood. I was, but I think it's more than that. Missed the third ep, watching the fourth. It's got its moments. Like when Jerry sends them to conversation school--no seriously, and Ricardo's narcissist buddy Slavco says,

"It's common sense. If you do not conversate with someone, then, you know, she isn't, she wouldn't want you."

Yes of course it's cruel to cackle at the caged animals under ordinary circumstances. But when Slavco and Ricardo spend every waking moment coifing their hair and exchanges assurances of superiority, they're asking for it.

It helps that all the other guys hate the pair of them. At least they have a little taste. And it also helped that in the first episode, Jerry accused Ricardo of wearing makeup. His denial was edited against her later sneering that he had more makeup on than she did.

Later in this episode, at a staged press conference, one of the reporters asks Slavco, "Do you consider yourself a sycophant?" Jerry leans in toward her girlfriend, and chuckles about the likelihood that Slavco will be familiar with the term. "Uh, can you define the last word," he asks.

Not bad recovery, actually. Whole lot better than trying to fake it. Might have been a letdown if not for cut to Jerry and girlfriend exchanging appalled glances.

I'm confident that this will at least be one of the reality shows with a deserving winner. I have no doubt Jerry is going to weed out all the biggest jerks, though they gave her quite a few of those to start with.

What they're actually going to "win," exactly is a little dubious. But I'm once again having medium fun watching.

reality trash

Tue, 31 May 2005 04:59:41 GMT

It's just never the ones you expect. Or at least that I expect.

There's a whole new glut of reality trash tv popping up on basic cable, to take advantage of the network reruns. It wasn't like I was expecting Strip Search to be any good, but I thought it might be a fun guilty pleasure.

Just sad and unclean and especially boring. Relentlessly repetitive. Not at all interesting the first time, and then the same crap over and over. Blech.

But just as I set the tivo up for it a few weeks ago, as an afterthought, I decided to grab Kept as well. A truly vile-looking piece of garbage where Jerry Hall whittles down 12 ugly-American prettyboys to one lucky boytoy to be her kept man.

I am somewhat embarassed to admit that I snickered my ass off. Lots of clever touches, and with all reality tv, the real beauty is in the editing.

And though I'd never found Jerry Hall even remotely interesting, she turns out to have a pretty wry sense of humor. Along with her producers. In less capable hands, putting the dozen mostly dumbass contestants up in old English estate and only providing five beds would have just been cruel. And as a rule I'm against cruelty, but with this group, it feels like an overdue call from the karma police.

The boys talk a big game about how they're going to fight everything out like tough bastards, but end up acting like whipped dogs, crawling off to settle for couches and pretending to like them.

And Jerry's delivery is pitch perfect on her cutaway: "I guess we could have put in more beds, but--where's the fun it that?"

Cut directly back to musclehead Jason explaining how he "used a little strategery" to land one of the coveted beds.

It's really all her, though. No wonder Mick Jagger married this woman. She's sees right through all their nonsense. Her commentary about them drips with heavier sarcasm than Leonard Pinth Garnell.

Already this show feels like the anti-Bachelor/ette. Those shows are all about rounding up a pack of smarmy guys and putting them in romantic situations where a desperate single woman will fall for all their crap. Kept takes an infinitely wiser woman who could not care less and calls them on every bit of it.

But only to us, mostly. Most of these nimrods still think they're impressing her.

Ricardo is so starry-eyed and stunning that one of his competitors dubs him Rico Suave and then admits to the camera that the guy is so good at it he had practically fallen in love with the slickster himself. Even though the producers provided inumerable clips of Ricardo assuring us how wonderful he was, when he turned on the charm he was so captivating I really wanted to believe it was real. When he made his little introduction to her, he was convincing enough that I figured she would be taken in. Any of the bachelorettes would have immediately swooned. Here, we cut to Jerry rolling her eyes about him "giving me bedroom--there is a bit of insincerity."

Of course the dufi give her plenty to work with. Seth meets Jerry and her fiends at a pub and begins by saying how great it is to meet "some sexy-looking broads like yourselves." One of them cracks that he's a real charmer and he thinks she means it seriously, assures her that he's not. But he senses the mistake eventually and corrects himself, "Broads? Old ladies?" Yeah, I'm sure they were much happier with that.

Later, on the ride home, he confides that he might be in love. Austen, one of the few contenders with some semblance of a brain, replies, "Dude, you called them old ladies!"

But it gets better. No, really. The biggest neanderthal by far, 24-year old jon, who dresses to impress in a red leather jacket with lime green shirt and white ballcap explains, "The fact that I live with my parents, Jerry will see that I'm still growing as a person. I'm still evolving as a mn. She'll be very impressed."

Who could make this shit up? I just can't believe Jon is familiar with the concept of evolution, though presumably less aware of the irony of its failure to address him.

An endless hour of nothing

Fri, 20 May 2005 04:13:07 GMT

Tonight's Apprentice. Worst reality finale ever?

(Of the good shows, I mean.) Worst I ever remember.

Nothing happened!

At least the right person won, but that could not have been more obvious at the end of last week. Why would they present an hour of filler all by itself? If they had tacked it onto last week's it would have felt like two hours that dragged too long. But this? Nothing.

---

And of all the things to nail Kendra for, tears of joy? What a dick. Worst moment ever for Trump.

I shared George and Caroline's concern about Kendra's early invisibility, though. And it seemed to hurt her when she did go up as PM. She had been invisible so long, no one respected her. Big hole to dig out of.

But she did dig, and was superior the past several weeks.

Especially last week. When a client offers you a job, that's huge. That's everything. Tana's clients were rolling their eyes.

Tana had to know she was in way behind coming in tonight, but she did a lame job presenting any of it. That bit about claiming credit for the shape of the Pontiac brochure, trying to blow that one feature up to be the entire project? Ridiculous.

The way she tried to make a mountain out of it and shout Kendra down just to glory in her one contribution, when she gave up and went to sleep on the task? Hard to imagine how she could have better demonstrated what a blowhard phony she can be. She has loads of genuine talent, but she always undermined it with her phoniness--previous lowpoint, the "We be talking now schtick" with the rappers--and tonight's outburst just screamed her inner bullshitter to the heavens.

Update:

Fun recap from Salon's Heather Havrilesky here.

Apprentice let-down

Thu, 19 May 2005 21:20:00 GMT

Burnett really baffled me last week.

Either Kendra mopped up the floor with Tana in the final challenge, or he completely misrepresented it, start to finish.

So we approach tonight with the riveting anticipation of two possibilities: a foregone conclusion or an outrage.

Huh?

Why would he possibility set up his finale that way?

Late to the party

Thu, 19 May 2005 15:40:59 GMT

I've been hearing about America's Next Top Model being the best reality show on TV for ages now.

Wasn't buying it. Or didn't care. The inner life of models? Sorry, not interested. (Do models have inner lives?)

It was Joan Walsh that finally got me tempted, and Tyra Banks' off-her-meds eruption while I happened to be on the phone with a friend who had it on in the background that finally got me to tune in. (Hey! Remind me not to talk to people when they're watching TV.)

For about 20 minutes I thought it was incredibly stupid. That is, the contestants were incredibly stupid. And young, immature, shallow, idiotic.

But then some authentic pain started to surface, and some interesting elements about what really went into the craft.

I watched again. I liked it more.

By last night's final, I was enraptured. And when my little darling Kahlen was relegated to #2 I was deflated. (For about 40 minutes.) And then I went to sleep dreaming about how her whipping Naima's ass in the fashion industry for years to come.

(Seriously. I dreamt about it. First-ever dreams about the fashion industry. Didn't even know what kind of coups were important, had to make it all up. Hard dreamwork. I'm tired.)

And no one else to even talk to. No one I know even watches the show, except one straight buddy in Boston, and it was after 1 a.m. there by the time I watched.

Luckily, I found an old reality TV site last night, and the great Heather Havrilesky posting on the Finale on Salon.

(Update: Thursday afternoon I received a private message back on that site, from someone tickled to death that i had said "The last 15 minutes made me all tingly." Said he appreciated my gushing. Hehehe. Is that gushing?)

Heather was trenchant and hysterical as always. But she hated it. The emperor has no couture. (Heeheehee. If you've still never read Heather, what's the matter with you?)

Huh. The show has grown stale and predictable, she laments.

Huh. I bet it has. But only if you've been watching long enough to predict. Still new and fresh and illuminating to newbies like me. I had no idea they were even on their fourth top model until yesterday. I thought maybe two.

Moral? You can always appreciate art long after the zeitgeisters have tired of it and moved on, if you only you will thrust your head deeply into the sand and refuse to consider that something idiotic-sounding might be insightful.

So it IS an art form

Wed, 18 May 2005 22:27:34 GMT

Just got hooked on "America's Next Top Model" the past month.

I have a dramatic new respect for models after this show. Finally get what it takes to make a stunning shot. Starting to get it.

And the surprising thing is, I'm interested. Really interested.

Kahlen has been a big part of the reason. More than anyone else on the show, she has demonstrated for me how a winsome, meek little girl can suddenly project this wild intensity of emotion into the photograph. Not cornball rage or hysteria, she stirs subtle, complex feelings I had never dreamed she was capable of.

Love that girl. Love her for who she is and what she can do, too.

It's been gratifying to watch her blossom over the course of the season, and mesmerizing to watch each of her photo shoots. Nearly all.

(My tivo gobbled up most of the season this weekend when VH1 reran them all. Nearly caught up now.)

Hope she's going to win tonight. Think she will, but I'm a novice to this show, to this industry.

I did watch the male version last (fall?) and it was fun to watch the beefcake, but strictly a guilyt pleasure. Never felt like I learned anything. This show, I felt like I arrived as ignorant as Kahlen, grew along with her over the course of the season--at least in my understanding. Wish I could ever project like that.

Homo humilation

Mon, 16 May 2005 05:36:48 GMT

Some days, it's just so embarassing to be a homo.

I was talking about Ian's failure of self-confidence in the Survivor finale two posts back. There's a guy with almost enough self-respect, just falling a hair short in the final momnet of crisis. Coby is just a walking example of twisted self-loathing world-loathing, sef-destruction. He is so bitter and jaded toward the world he just rips apart any shred of decency he finds anywhere, thereby making a total ass of himself and fullfilling his prophecy that the world hates him.

What the hell was that preposterous speech about Tom's lack of integrity, and then the one dissenting vote for Katie claiming he her no honesty? Easy. Jealous.

Only explanation I can dig up anywhere for Coby's behavior: Tom is every bit the man Coby wishes he were, in body and character. Tom gets all the respect and admiration Coby dreams himself to sleep every night desiring it. Coby gets none of it. So he can't bear the sight of Tom.

God, is that unsightly to watch.

And while gayboys everywhere obviously shouldn't be tarred with the brush of one bitter queen, man, it's hard to separate it. It's so clear where his self-loathing originates. He knew he was different growing up, he knew he would be outcast if he admitted it, or probably even if he didn't.

It's a damaging experience, no doubt about that. Very few grown gay men come through it without deep, often debilitating scars. But God. You can face it, try to overcome it and deal with it constructively or you live your entire life digging yourself in deeper.

Picture the man you want to be and strive to become him, for God's sake. And you know something, Coby: when you find the men you want to emulate, you'd be surprised, if he really is a guy worth admiring, you can bet he'd be eager to help you. Plenty of Toms out there in the world would be happy to take you under their wing and undo some of that damage. They don't think it's right, what you went through, and they want to see you succeed. But man. Not like this.

Wow. Two cautionary tales in one night.

Finally

Mon, 16 May 2005 05:29:27 GMT

A deserving Survivor winner.

How long has it been since anyone has said that?

Nice to see this show wrap with a satisfying conclusion.

Tom was a great player and deserved every bit of it.

Would have been a bit more interesting it the final wasn't against someone so pathetic, but Katie's self-immolation before the jury was kind of entertaining to watch.

And great to see everyone do the right thing and the easiest vote since the show's inception. Almost everyone.