Dave Cullen: Survivor

Survivor: monkey see, Brendan do

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 21:07:54 GMT

APRIL 3, 2009 2:59AM

Check your tivo. Put it on slo-mo.

The oddest thing happened at minute 7.

They are discussing "another coach moment," after he burnt the beans. It's the awkward moment right after (Sierra?) speaks up and calls him on his shit, and Coach is saying, 'Thank for saying that, blah blah blah' while the two of them and Brendan were in the shot.

Brendan is picking at his teeth, and Coach is blabbing on and on, covering his discomfort by waving his arms from front to back at waist level and sort of clapping them together each time they met in the front--except he was actually smacking one fist into the other open palm, and if you watch closely, he alternates which hand is the fist vs palm.

After the third clap, he looks over at brendan, standing right next to him, who quits teeth-picking, and starts doing the exact same thing! Total monkey see, Brendan do. (I shuddered to see my favorite as the follow-monkey, but there he was.)

Except Brendan is doing it a little dorkier: just regular clapping, and with his fingers spread apart. (He's still adorable. I still hope to marry him.)

Coach is sweeping his head side to side, too, turning back and forth to address his accusor, and check in with his alpha male adversary, Brendan, who is grinning, uncontrollably.

On the first look after Brendan begins to clap, Coach just glances at him, but on his next rotation, he looks right down at Brendan's hands. Brendan follows coaches gaze down to his own left hand, which is just then rounding his hip, coming forward for his seventh clap. At that exact moment, both hands hit an invisible wall, and bounce back off it. Brendan's arms hang there, rigid, for a few seconds, jerking back and forth in tiny abbreviated swirls just a few inches forward and back, like a swing chain that's been jerked to a halt but can't quite stop its motion yet. His smile drains and he turns to watch the final movements of his other arm, incredulous and then appalled.

Incredible.

I watched it over and over. I didn't get any further. I have to go to bed.

Sept 7 Update:

It's amazing, but after all these years, I'm still enjoying Survivor. I'm looking forward to the next season, starting in less than two weeks. And Brendan turned out to be one of my all-time favorite characters. What a great guy.

Last refuge of the modern scoundrel

Mon, 17 Oct 2005 02:08:15 GMT

If you've been watching Survivor this season, particularly this past Thursday, you probably came to the conclusion that Blake Towsley is kind of a dick. If you missed him on The Early Show the next morning, you have no idea.

On Thursday, you had the footage of him babbling incessantly about his infinite superiority--about his high school state sports championship, about his girlfriend's size double-D breasts, about his wild drunken debauchery--and you had the outcome of the episode: his three original tribemates, who had everything to gain by sticking together, may well have written themselves out of contention just to get a human being so vile out of their vicinity.

That was nothing.

Friday morning, after months away from the game to get over his astonishment and anger over being disliked, and mere seconds after thumping his chest for having played the game so honorably, he chose the most spineless method possible to slander his former adversary Brian with what he surely regards as the ultimate insult.

Brian badmouthed him in Guatemala, and apparently engineered his ouster. Blake got his revenge Friday by "accusing" Brian of being gay--by pretending to "defend" him.

Judge for yourself. I transcribed his full screed, no edits or omissions of any kind (though I didn't bother with a few quick echoes of his comments from Harry Smith, spoken at the same time as Blake, in the midst of it):

"The thing that I wanted to come away with more than a million dollars was my honor and my integrity, and I did that. The one thing that was kind of--everybody in the, everybody on the cast and everybody thought that that Brian was gay. And made it a big issue, and a big hot topic and I was, you know, he was adamant about defending himself on that and never once did I speak a bad word about Brian. They had me in interviews and they're like, He's not gay, but everybody thought he was. Brian and myself were the only two the exceptions to the rule. So I'd tried be a good guy for everybody. I think I got out right before it got ugly."

Yeah. Until now.

It's bad enough to out someone on national television. To "accuse" someone who claims not to be on--especially by pretending to defend him--yow. How low can you get?

It's no insult to me, but I'm quite sure it is in Blake's world. Still the most damaging epithet you can slap a guy with in many circles. It's disgusting to do that to Brian, and more disgusting to gay people to use the "charge" as an insult.

Blake mentioned watching the show every Thursday night, and knew damn well the producers had chosen not to air any of those "allegations." So he knew it had probably never crossed the minds of most straight people in the country, and how easy to point it out for them. And if they did already suspect, he was all to eager to provide the compelling evidence that everyone there--other than Mr. Integrity, of course--thought it was true.

Playing the gay card. I keep forgetting we're not past that.

And Harry Smith, of course, said nothing about the slimy slam.

NOTICE: See you on the weekends

Mon, 26 Sep 2005 17:17:40 GMT

Hey. You might have noticed I'm rarely here during the week these days.

Yes, by design. Trying to keep my focus entirely on my book during the week. Hence the big one-day bursts on Saturdays and Sundays. So look for me then. (Or on Mondays when you get back to trolling the web at the office, while your boss is away. heeheehee.)

OK, better try that bigger:

LOOK FOR ME MOSTLY ON THE WEEKENDS UNTIL THIS BOOK IS DONE!

Occasionally I may stop by in an evening, if I've had a great day and deserve an indulgence, or maybe once in awhile for a quickie. (Like just now. I figured since I was here to let you know this, I could pound out a quick reaction to the Housewives.)

But hopefully you'll see a lot of self-control.

See you Saturday.

When . . .

Thu, 15 Sep 2005 20:43:08 GMT

Survivor Survivor Survivor . . .

The incredible shrinking cultural phenomenon. Remember when just the mention of that word set us shivering in anticipation. Some of us, anyway.

Yes, of course I'll be watching tonight--even though it means bumping The OC, which got really stale really fast, by the way, hopefully only a temporary condition--but it's nothing like the old glory days, is it?

Too bad they never got around to fixing this game.

Still, it's always good for a few fresh psychological insights. And it will always be special.

---

Update:

So here's a little question on overwriting. You think that second line of this post--"The incredible shrinking cultural phenomenon"--was overkill?

Explaining the obvious, or illuminating the ambiguous?

Sometimes I really wonder.

Homo humilation

Mon, 16 May 2005 05:36:48 GMT

Some days, it's just so embarassing to be a homo.

I was talking about Ian's failure of self-confidence in the Survivor finale two posts back. There's a guy with almost enough self-respect, just falling a hair short in the final momnet of crisis. Coby is just a walking example of twisted self-loathing world-loathing, sef-destruction. He is so bitter and jaded toward the world he just rips apart any shred of decency he finds anywhere, thereby making a total ass of himself and fullfilling his prophecy that the world hates him.

What the hell was that preposterous speech about Tom's lack of integrity, and then the one dissenting vote for Katie claiming he her no honesty? Easy. Jealous.

Only explanation I can dig up anywhere for Coby's behavior: Tom is every bit the man Coby wishes he were, in body and character. Tom gets all the respect and admiration Coby dreams himself to sleep every night desiring it. Coby gets none of it. So he can't bear the sight of Tom.

God, is that unsightly to watch.

And while gayboys everywhere obviously shouldn't be tarred with the brush of one bitter queen, man, it's hard to separate it. It's so clear where his self-loathing originates. He knew he was different growing up, he knew he would be outcast if he admitted it, or probably even if he didn't.

It's a damaging experience, no doubt about that. Very few grown gay men come through it without deep, often debilitating scars. But God. You can face it, try to overcome it and deal with it constructively or you live your entire life digging yourself in deeper.

Picture the man you want to be and strive to become him, for God's sake. And you know something, Coby: when you find the men you want to emulate, you'd be surprised, if he really is a guy worth admiring, you can bet he'd be eager to help you. Plenty of Toms out there in the world would be happy to take you under their wing and undo some of that damage. They don't think it's right, what you went through, and they want to see you succeed. But man. Not like this.

Wow. Two cautionary tales in one night.

Finally

Mon, 16 May 2005 05:29:27 GMT

A deserving Survivor winner.

How long has it been since anyone has said that?

Nice to see this show wrap with a satisfying conclusion.

Tom was a great player and deserved every bit of it.

Would have been a bit more interesting it the final wasn't against someone so pathetic, but Katie's self-immolation before the jury was kind of entertaining to watch.

And great to see everyone do the right thing and the easiest vote since the show's inception. Almost everyone.

Saddest Survivor moment ever

Mon, 16 May 2005 04:34:40 GMT

A man too needy enough to be amazed at the idea of owning his own his car gave up a million dollar tonight because lost faith in his own sense of self worth.

(I do believe Ian would have won that challenge, could have booted Tom in good faith and creamed Katie in the finals.)

Ian. Ian Ian Ian.

They would have forgiven you, buddy. It is just a game. You were supposed to play off everyone against each other.

Tom was just angry for a day or two because you almost played him--or considered the possibility of playing him. And Katie played you far more than you ever thought about playing her.

I respect you so much for caring what other people think of you, for wanting desperately to do the right thing and to win their respect.

But with out getting too Oprah on you, dude, the only one whose respect that ultimately matters is your own. You've got nothing to be ashamed of. In your heart, you know that. By now, months later, I'm sure you already know it--though I predict tonight on the reunion, you'll say you're glad you made the decision. Of course you will. (I'm 80 minutes into the show, by the way. The minute I saw Ian booted I had to come to the PC to write this.)

The sad part, the first really tragic thing I've seen on the show this season, is watching someone I like so very much sacrifice something so important to him--the success you would have beamed about your entire life, and the million dollars that would have changed it--because he can't take ownership of his own self-respect, has to look to others to prove he's good enough.

You just purchased your self-respect for one million dollars. Or tried to. But the joke's on you, obviously, because it's not in their possession to grant you.

Painful.

Now here's the part that makes me really curious. How many regular readers are shaking their heads right now wondering if I know why I find it so intensely painful? Sometimes you guys know this stuff about me before I do. But not this time.

That's me out there. That mess with my family this week? Same thing. Most of my struggles with my writing? Same. Friendship problems, boyfriend problems, usually the same damn thing.

I know when I'm right, when I'm satisfied I've tried hard enough, authentically enough, and done the right thing. But I can't sleep nights without everyone else in my life telling me it's good enough.

And I mean everyone, or damn near it. Pitiful, really. Ninety percent of the crowd can be right behind me, but I literally toss and turn in bed at night whining myself away from sleep over that last ten percent.

I have known that for quite awhile. Sometimes I put a little effort into changing it, although of all the challenges I've faced in my life, that one feels about the hardest to get my arms around. Jarring to watch someone else play out the same hand, though. In such striking terms, in such a concentrated situation, with so much at stake, and let's face it, so little to gain. This isn't his girlfriend on the line, or his children, or the family he grew up with, or his best friend since college. These are people he first met a month ago. On a game show where his entire purpose there as well as theirs was to act this way. Could a brilliant novelist devise a situation more preposterous for a character to put his self-respect out for bid?

I'm trying to burn this scenario into my brain so I'll have it there to chuckle at when I find myself making a fruitless plea half that ridiculous.

Survivor as cautionary tale.

Have I mentioned how I adore this show?

And the jury shook their heads

Sat, 14 May 2005 20:46:57 GMT

The women. Survivor women just can't ever ever ever stick together.

Even the jury was disgusted.

Though for once, I was happy to see them fold.

Would be so nice to see a deserving winner on this show after so much time.

Assuming Burnett is tossing us his usual fake with the preview, Ian, Tom and Katie would all be crazy to break ranks, now, and I doubt Jen is going to win immunity. That puts one of those guys in the finals, and the vote should be close to unanimous--particularly if he's with that pathetic oaf Katie.

What kind of spell she's got over Ian, that's the real mystery. Has he really had that horrible luck with women? When he alludes to difficulties with her being "just like girl trouble back home," I just wince. Poor guy. Can't believe anyone with a body or personality could love him.

And when he said he'd never been able to afford a car before, I nearly cried. Would be wonderful to see him win. Especially since he played the game so incredibly well.

Except for that move pulling Tom in to join him on the reward. What! It drives me nuts the way these people never figure out who to bring, never realize they have to talk to their allies and agree not to bring each other, both to disavow the alliance and to position a spy in both camps.

How thrilling to finally see a pair of contenders figure this out, voice it completely, grasp the game at a level few of their peers or predecessors ever have, and then . . . not execute. Crazy.

And it nearly cost them everything. May still, if Katie really bolts against Tom. (Which would be idiotic for Ian, because they'll immediately turn on him. But the fact that Burnett suggested it in the preview is the best possible evidence it doesn't work out that way.)

And it was pleasing to see Caryn, one of the worst contestants ever to barely play the game ousted, unanimously. And then hear her give perhaps the most preposterous boot-out whines ever: "Everyone's been very deceptive . . ."

Good lord. What show did she think she was on?

Anyone can act a little insane moments after the heave ho, but months later, she was still bitching about it on The Early Show. First words out of her mouth, how angry she still is: people were scheming all over the place!

Piece of work.

Fooled Again

Fri, 29 Apr 2005 05:58:39 GMT

Damn.

I was just getting ready to come over here and write a quick post starting, "I really think Steph is going to win this thing."

Just two more minutes to watch Tom get pounded off the island, and that would be that.

Guess not.

(If you didn't watch, and possess no deduction skills whatsoever, Steph got voted off. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, guess you haven't seen Survivor in awhile.)

What is the matter with those women? With Caryn? They can just never, ever, ever get together on this show. Ever. How obvious could the choice have been.

Greg has also been interesting to watch. I really like him, and in some ways I'm most like him. (Right down to his occupation. I used to do the business consulting thing, too. I still do, part-time.) But he seems really weak at flexibility once he's locked into a plan. I know, because I spent years grappling with that problem, first in the Army, then in the corp world. I always got great reviews for my planning, but I always wanted to stick to them. When things changed, I didn't want to.

Hopefully I'm over that. Painful to watch him make the same mistakes. But he just seems clueless about what's going on around him. "Stick to the plan! We have to stick to the plan!" That was your plan, buddy, and a lot of people paid lip service to it but never intended to ride it to the finish line.

And as near as I can tell, the plan called for five people to stick together till they got to five, and guess what, that's one vote away. They're scrambling hard for fresh options.

Fortunately for him, a key adversary wasn't scrambling very well. Caryn. What is wrong with her. Tom invites her to be part of the solid six--a one-woman add-on to the solid five? When there are seven people on the island? What? So he's saying "Stick we me on this vote, and I'll repay you by booting you on the very next vote"? And she went for it?

Oh course we have no idea what Burnett's not showing us.

But come on, girl. Think, a little. You had your chance to make it to the final four, and with the weakest three alongside you, to boot.

These people. Sometimes.

The Race, The Race, what's with all the lousy Racers?

Tue, 26 Apr 2005 17:53:39 GMT

. . . and Survivors and particularly Apprentices?

More on that later. Scribbled a bunch of notes on it last week, but not allowed to pull the whole thing together until I get a bit more of my work done.

But isn't it appalling how weak the competition is this year?

Feel free to chime in, and I'll try to get the piece together in a few days.

But I still enjoying the hell out of all three shows this season, aside from the occasional dull episode, like last week's Race.

And aside from the ongoing annoyance of the Race's non-elim round. Can you believe a show this good has still failed to fix a flaw that gaping? I mention it here, because tonight looks like a prime candidate for screwing us at the end.

They really mar the climax of their season that way. At this point, almost every episode is marred either by the ugly memory of last one refusing to end or the current one threatening to.

Refusing to end, that's the problem. What the producers don't seem to get is that one hour of the show does not constitute an episode. One furious run from elimination to elimination, in our minds, that's an episode, that's what we tune in for, whether it lasts one hour presented on one evening, or stretches over an entire month--which, thank God, they have spared us.

Tuning in for half an episode? Sorry. The show is good, it's not that good.

Peaking into my bathtub

Fri, 22 Apr 2005 04:37:24 GMT

Nice. My favorite Survivor challenge ever, tonight. Love the ones that are purely at test of wills.

And I liked that one in particular, cause I used to do it ever time I took a bath. When was that? My 20s, must have been. Minus the bars, of course. I loved to lie still and let the water rise, and watch little islands of flesh get cut off from the mainland. Always curious to see which pec would go first, never quite understood why. (And never kept track to see if it was always the same one.)

It wouldn't just be two pecs at first, though, I'd get an island low on each ribcage, too, but they wouldn't hold out long at all. Loved to watch my bellybutton fill up, always in a big rush. I tried to breathe really shallow as my chest was going under--one deep breath and I'd ruin it. The hairs were cool, once they started cropping up. Didn't seem to hold the water back at all, just provided a visual gauge: 13 more tiny little tree trunks washed away . . . then their tips would cling to the surface.

They missed out on all that tonight. Straight to the scary part. I used to love the feeling as it encroached my breathing. Mouth was no big deal, but it was surprising how important the eyes were. My brain assured me they were no included in the respiratory system, but their was no convincing them as the water surrounded them.

The hardest part was knowing when to blow. A little trickle of air out my nose was essential to keep the water out. Start it too soon and I wasted precious seconds of lungspace. But hold it a single moment too long, and the whole things was over. I was a champion breath-holder, could lie under there for way over a minute (maybe two?), but one blast of water up my nose and I was springing up onto the palms of my hands.

Ahhhhhhh, Survivor envy. Used to have it nearly every week the first couple seasons, haven't felt it in at least a year now. (For sure, not since that interminable All Stars season.) I guess tonight wasn't envy--didn't exactly want to be out there, but wistful that I never did it.

Meanwhile, I was slightly annoyed that the abandonment was only a single night. Anybody can live through one night of anything. At least two nights would have changed the psychological dymanics. When you're feeling like you'll never make it through the night, the idea of more nights recruits an entirely fresh feeling of hopelessness.

And when you wake up--for reach the dawn still awake--and face the thought of starting it all over again . . .

Well, that would have been an interesting lab-rat experiment.

But what a delightful surprise.

Was there one person in the entire x-million audience tonight who foresaw the experience envigorating Janu?

Maybe. Seems so obvious in hindsight. Her team winning all those challenges was the worst thing that ever happened to Janu. Nobody ever pushed her. She was never really needed. Interesting that she had never bothered to learn the most basic survivor skill like making a fire. Why would she if she could get away with it?

How many times have we all worked with an underperformer, who no one thought would amount to anything, only to watch them dazzle us when someone finally shoved them into a position of responsibility?

Some people underperform because they're underperformers. Some just hang out by the bottom because they can get away with it. Whether they know that's what they're up to or not.

It was obvious from the second Janu caught that fire that she was about to undergo a radical change. She had come to believe all the bad press about her and had adopted it as a way of life on that island until someone pushed her off and forced her to realize she wasn't incompetent.

Beautiful to behold.

Of course she didn't sell it too well when she got back.

Speaking of bad sales, Tom Tom Tom Tom Tom.

Not much surprise to see him win the test of wills. Or to see him win it as much with his head; along with Ian and Greg, I believe, all using their hands to keep their noses clear--that was strictly verboten in my bathtub, by the way.

But if had engaged his head just a little bit more, he would have kept his hands on the bars and let one of the others take it.

Does he think he has to win all the immunity challenges? How many times will I ask this question: Have these people seen this show before?

---

Huh. Had not watched tribal yet when I wrote that.

Should I take back everything I said about Janu?

Nah. Gave her a whole new image of herself, but not necessarily of the game.

Actually brings to mind the big problem with severely depressed people who go on antidepressants and kill themselves. The biggest danger zone is the first week or two, and the theory goes that they suddenly feel strong and vital and in control of their lives again--but they still see a miserable life ahead mirroring the one behind, so they take control of their life by ending it.

Isn't that exactly what Janu did tonight?

Hadn't thought about that till I started writing it, but I'm pretty sure that's what we just witnessed.

Meanwhile, Steph's breakdown at tribal. How many times is that girl going to break my heart?

Amazing to watch the determination on that face. To see how badly she wants it, how much it means to her.

Huh. I think I just got--finally got!--why people love watching sports so much.

Seriously. I had no idea. Sorry for all the eye rolling.

Worst gay PR ever

Fri, 22 Apr 2005 01:25:20 GMT

{We now bring you this Survivor post exactly one week late. Whoops. I was in Chicago last week, and my Denver PC updated itself with some stupid new Windows update and somehow gave itself permission to reboot--I hate that company--so access to my blog was over. Until I got home which was nearly a week ago, but by that was a day too long and I forgot. Sorry. Just in time to feed your Survivor appetite till I get around to this week's ep.}

One of the nicest side effects of the reality proliferation on TV is all these freaking homos in your living room. Hard to hate the whole class of gay people once you know a couple, and for a lot of people this is still the closest they're going to come to knowing any of us for awhile.

The downside is, they're getting to know some of us.

Coby. What a sad freaking excuse for a human being. He hates everyone. He hates them for working too hard, he hates them for working too little. Mostly he hates them for being happy.

I never much cared for The Grinch story, because I never fully bought the character. Just seemed a little farfetched, a cranky old prune cursing every moment of happiness down in whoville because he didn't share in any of it.

Man. Coby seems to have grown up aspiring to him as a role model. He hates people for working too hard, because it causes others pleasure, and he can't stand that. Most of all, he can't stand the gratitude they return.

Is he actually the first Survivor to diss his teammates for too much kindness? Or ass-kissing, in his universe. Even if it's a pair of strangers, coming to train them for 24 hours, he can't bear to hear praise heaped upon them. Apparently Tom is hoping to lure them into the next tribal council to win their votes.

Of course the "ass kissing" comment made no sense in that context, but then Coby is fooling no one. He despises all the little whos in whoville, because they share geniune human affection, and rather than try to win some too, he'd rather pout and plot and play the martyr and darken any corner he is unlucky enough to inhabit.

One sick human being.

So embarassed for him to embody every homosexual cliche imaginable, just to make it next to impossible for any viewer not to associate him with the whole lot of us. Ugh. So glad to be rid of him. To end that, and to end the dark pall he kept trying to cast into my life.

---

Meanwhile, another week, another round of unforgettable moments. Topping my list, the tremors coming over Steph's face when she realized the treemail was an edict of clemency for her solitary confinement. Followed by her inability to read it as it proclaimed her feat of outsurviving the rest of her team. And I loved the first words out of her mouth most of all: I'm going to have friends. And food!

Friends, and food, in that order, her mind hurled them at her. What a sweet commentary on the priorities of human existence.

I love this show. In spite of the cliche-only casting. I'd suffer through a hundred Cobys for one Steph and one Bobby Jon.

And now the competition portion of our game might start to get interesting as well.

If ever there were a worse job to date someone you worked with

Fri, 01 Apr 2005 22:33:33 GMT

I took a little break from the popewatch this afternoon--(whole fresh range of emotions battering me on that front; more on that later)--for something a little lighter.

Survivor.

Man. Don't know how many times I've said this, but this show sure has seen a resurgence this season.

Burnett desperately needed to shake up the game somehow, and he didn't but somehow it managed to shake itself up. Never been anything quite like this.

Can two people call themselves a tribe without laughing? Haven't they turned into a couple? And what will they do if the merge is delayed and they lose again? Vote both each other off and just dispense with themselves? (Yes, I know the answer, but it tickles me to picture their "council.") Can you imagine one person showing up for the challenges after that?

But the merge normally occurs with ten remaining, so we're likely to be spared that sight.

This was the first time I was actually rooting for the threesome in the immunity challenge. As much as I wanted to see this play out all the further, I just didn't have the heart to wish it on them. But there it was.

It wasn't till the immunity challenge that the contrast just got so damn . . . tragic. (Not tragegy on the level of a pope dying, mind you, but in the context of this little world they have been isolated into . . .)

Like watching the damn Third World, over there. Starvation, dwindling population, burning their old shelther in a desperate last-ditch attempt for food . . . Failing at that attempt . . .

(I realize the Third World is suffering from the reverse problem on population, but the image of them wasting visibly away to nothing cried out as such a stark metaphor for the feeling of dwindling resources and dwindling hope in parts of the Third World.)

Of all moments for Bobby Jon to mention being afraid of the sharks. His look as Tom when on to tell of facing off one of the suckers, hacking him to death and feeding the little guy to his tribe, an actual tribe of eight people--priceless.

That face of Bobby Jon's is just so expressive. Can't tell you how much I enjoy watching it.

And listening to his candor. Heartbrakingly honest, sometimes. Like when he got all excited about how well they had done their SOS. We worked real hard on it. I'm sure the other team did, too, though. Could have outworked us on it. Or outthought us, that's how it usually goes.

It sure did. But the look of realization on his face, that no matter how strong his spirit is--and he is a freaking little tarzan--they'll outmanuever him every time and all his strength means nothing.

And then the immunity challenge. He is so out of his league.

Why did they send him up on the stand to lead it? The trouble is, they didn't have any smart people left on their team. I'm not saying anyone there is stupid, they probably cast most people of above average intelligence, but none of the three are particularly gifted in their brain matter.

But he was pretty pathetic scratching his head solving that puzzle they had spent the entire morning with.

And just to prove it wasn't a fluke, he pulled just about the stupidest move of the game by admitting to Stephanie that he was completely bullshitting her about their alliance. What? If you're going to make a firm alliance, then break it--or consider breaking it--one vote later, for God's sake, you need to keep that little double-cross to yourself.

How can someone not know this? Backstabbing is typically not conducted in the front. For a reason.

If Ibrahim wasn't just as thick as he was, he would have jumped at Steph's offer and BJ would be out of there. But it was a lose-lose for him, regardless. Ib was to dense and too trusting to go for it--hmmmmmm, he's playing both of us, I wonder if I should trust him--but what makes him think Steph ever will? Presumably they're about to merge and he's going to need any help he can get from her--oh, and he's still planning to "go to the end with her" somehow--why would he think for a minute she would trust him. He just demonstrated that his word to her meant nothing.

Not a clue how to play this game.

But he sure is endearing to watch.

Meanwhile, the real game hasn't even gotten started yet. The smartypants team has barely had a chance to play out anything yet.

But that cute guy Greg and his girlfriend sure have painted monumental targets on their own backs. The only thing more puzzling is how they can possibly be in such denial about it.

Aside from it going without saying, they lie there with six other people staring at them incessantly, watching every move, and then walk off together and agree it's probably a "non-issue."

On what Survivor planet?

They're just too much. And these people really are smart, or at least Greg is. What's his excuse?

So the actual game is finally ready to get underway in the next couple weeks, but I find it unlikely those machinations will live up to what we've witnessed so far. This show is like a deep rich novel with a great suspenseful plot. The plot can keep you flipping through the pages to see what happens, next, but it's always the amazing characters and the unlikely developments along the way that make it worth the ride.

Soon Bobby Jon will be gone, and there will be a tiny little hole in my life each week where I used to watch all those exhuberant, ecstatic and increasingly tortured expressions play out all over his angelic little face.

A tribe of three

Thu, 24 Mar 2005 04:46:09 GMT

I am really loving Survivor again this season.

Initially it was the joy of watching the older, smarter tribe hold their own again the young bucks in mostly physical challenges, using just that itty bit of strategy each time to turn the tide.

Holding their own has turned into the most ridiculous landslide. Like watching Susan Lucci going for an Emmy.

Three people. God. At this rate, if the merge happens with the standard ten people, they'll go in with two.

The funniest moment tonight was Bobby Jon saying he can't see himself making it to the end with Ebrahim. In what universe can he see himself getting there with anyone?

Still, I love that guy. Thought I would hate him, and I still wonder how far that mind can ever take him, but I've grown quite fond of him. Man, talk about a fighter.

And I loved him when he got annoyed at James for whining over the huge loss last week: We lost some beef stew. Big deal. Let it go.

He does manage to see through the fog sometimes.

James never seems to. Can't see nothing more than two inches in front of his nose. Thank God they bumped off James tonight.

That's the other reason I've enjoyed this season so much: they keep kicking off the deserving people, more or less. James should have been gone awhile ago, but he got his eventually.

I have to admit that I'm still rooting for that team to go back to tribal every week, but I did have to root for them to win the reward challenge. Those poor people needed something.

And it was wonderful watching Bobby Jon among all those jellyfish, listening to his voiceover. Always a pleasure to see someone who can appreciate the beauty and wonder in the world.

I've really come to like the tiny, pitiful threesome still calling themselves a "tribe."

The quicker you forgive . . .

Mon, 13 Dec 2004 07:26:28 GMT

. . . the better you feel.

I just watched most of the Survivor Reunion Show, and I'm liking most of these people again. I like them because, for the most part, they've owned up to how nasty they got out there, and they've forgiven each other.

And I can see how I get sucked into the nastiness as a viewer, too, watching them turn into ogres under that pressure and then disparaging them for it.

And then 2/3 of the way through the show, Dimples--who as gotten really good at interviewing these people; he ought to replace Matt Lauer or Charlie Gibson when he's done with this gig--asks Amy what she learned.

"The biggest thing I learned about myself was, the quicker you forgive the better you feel. Because I had so much anger and hate towards Twili. For awhile. And the second I just let that go, just completely let it go, realized it's a game, this and that, the whole world was lifted off my shoulders, the second I learned how to forgive."

As I'm transcribing, I'm fearing that it might sound preachy or cliche in print. You're just going to have to trust me that all through the reunion show, she has been the soul of authenticity and candor, and this is coming straight from the heart. And clearly she was angry and hateful toward Twila. And it's plain tonight that she did let that go. I have no doubt she felt that weight lift off her the moment she did. We've all been there, haven't we.

Hmmmmm. I've got a few boulders up on my shoulder this very moment I could probably step a lot lighter without. Why do I leave them up there?

Still entertaining, still enlightening

Mon, 13 Dec 2004 05:06:38 GMT

Well. I got some food, and got over my emotional hangover, and the end of the Survivor finale looked quite a bit different.

That last tribal council blew me away.

My jaw was dropping at Jules. That picture of her entire face soaked in tears. Hard to imagine how she could take it all so personally. Which is what makes this experiment so fascinating. Still, after nine seasons, with the contestants knowing exactly what they're getting involved with, they still get sucked into it, they can't help themselves from forming real human connections and recoiling in horror when another player informs them how little that connection meant to them.

And Twila. God love her, she really can't stop being Twila. Amy was a little bitter, but right on the mark: why could she take that oath about her son--which they blew way out proportion in my mind, which makes it all the more interesting; see the previous paragraph--yet she couldn't bring herself to make a damn fake apology.

(And couldn't figure out what her winning hand was: loyalty to the original goal of insuring a woman won.)

I also loved watching Ami cast her vote. Done with the bitterness, the sweetest smile and grudging respect for Twili's authenticity.

Now watching Chris perform, that was down right scary. And first I wanted to barf watching him wade that deep through the horseshit, but then I actually got the chills. That guy missed his calling as a con man.

---

But I was wrong again. I thought Twila was going to win. I'm pretty disgusted with the women, particularly LeeAnn. God, what in the hell will it take to get a group of women to stick together? The had the men right where they wanted, got them down to the last man, seven to one and still preferred to hack each other up than beat him. God.

At least I can respect Ami. Of all people, if she had not stuck to Twila, I would have had no respect. She appeared to be behind the thing, and if it turned out that she was only behind it if it suited her, she would have looked pretty hollow. Jules, I understand. She got taken in by the conman. And Eliza. Well, Twili did torture her for 39 days, and bitched her out right to the end. But Lee Ann. For God's sake . . .

And what brutal irony to hand it to of all people, the biggest misogynist ever to play the game. The first open woman-hater I recall. Not to their faces, of course, he's a con artist. But his confessionals throughout the series. God. Does he ever hope to date again? He has nothing but contempt for the entire gender. Odd how he didn't think to con beyond the boundaries of the game. I guess he'll find some self-loathing woman who hates her gender too and respects him for it.

And of all the men to win. At least the final women came down to the last few who did manage to steer the game in their direction. Chris was the last man standing solely because the women considered him the weakest, most pathetic specimen. Ugh. This game has problems.

---

A few random thoughts:

Sarge. What an ass. To the end. "Psych?" Yeah, you psyched exactly no one. And you are presumably the only person in America who thinks you found out where your friendship stood. That little ploy was comically transparent, and Chris turned in his worst performance in pretending he bought it. God. I was embarassed for Sarge.

And what exactly is Mark Burnett going with on the Dimples as Indiana Jones routine at the end every season, hacking his way through the jungle with a machete, pulling up the landing gear on the plane personally, parachuting out . . .

Very odd. Mark Burnett is normally the master of great production values. What's with the supreme cheesiness? Camp, is that what he's going for? What an odd moment for it. And why does he make the same perplexing mistake season after season? What am I missing here?

Update:

Watching the reunion show now, and Sarge, God. What a hypocrite. He's sitting there plainly lying and saying his vote was all about surrounding himself with people of good values, honor . . . This just seconds after Twila said to Sarge that she told the truth and he lied to everyone and that's why he won the million, and everyone laughed at the obviousness of it, and Dimples said, "I think that's pretty well established."

That's Sarge's idea of honor? Values? He knows damn well he stuck by his buddies. And there's nothing wrong with that. I would applaud that. I have. The game turned into men against women, and the men got taken early on, but they stuck together to the end, even when they were outnumbered on the jury five to two. The women folded. Stand up for that, buddy, be proud of it. Don't lie about it. And then preach some bullshit about values and honor, when the guy won because he was chillingly able to--in Dimples' paraphrasing, read people, know exactly what they wanted to hear and parrot it back to them.

Later Update:

Nice work from Dimples so far in this reunion show. (They have been infinitely better since they started allowing him to host.)

I wrote the above paragraphs immediately after Sarge spoke, fuming, and Dimples pretty much called him on it, without quite using words like hypocrite.

Then he had the nerve to pose the question that has been bugging me: Why is it so damn hard for women to stick together?

And people nearly always bullshit in these situations--how refreshing to hear Ami not make up some excuses or pretend it wasn't so, but to immediately admit it and say women have a hard time trusting each other.

(Before I get anyone fuming, I don't think the countless examples of this phenomenon through nine seasons of Survivor prove women have trouble working together, I think it illustrates it. Obviously one show is anecdotal. But most of us who have worked in business have seen it in action. I've discussed it with many women. And by the way, gays have the same problem. It can make your head spin to see how fast they can turn on each other. I guess it's a wider phenom of groups subjugated in any way. They develop a mentatlity over many generations that their group is going to lose as a whole, and their best bet is to screw their peers and collaborate with the more dominant group. Takes a long damn time to shake that.)

Ami suggested something more or less along those lines, in highly abbreviated form, and it waw refreshing to see her so candid about it. Most people wouldn't be. I really like her.

And Jules. I guess she's just really young. Much more innocent than I realized. Kind of painful to watch her admit on live national TV that "I'm just figuring this out!" about what a con artist Chris is, that his entire relationship she wept so movingly over was all an elaborate act. (And he didn't deny it.)

"I don't even know if you have feelings!" she gasped. He did deny that. Now he's probably thinking about dating again. Isn't he engaged to that woman who came on a few weeks ago? Maybe he's afraid she's starting to see through the bigger con.

No more regrets

Mon, 13 Dec 2004 03:13:57 GMT

That first season of Survivor was so painful to watch sometimes. Hurt so badly not to be out there with them.

I had applied, been considered, not made the cut. And the very first moments of the opening episode, when they had to hurtle off the ship into the unknown . . . Man. All I ever wanted. To hurtle into the unknown.

I still would have loved to be part of that group, but I'm sure glad I'm not involved with it now. Still moderately interesting, occasionally fascinating to watch after nine seasons, but it really is kind of a nasty, sour game, with a fair amount of distasteful people.

I've had both feelings conflicting from the start: dying for the adventure, distaste at some of the tawdriness. Took nine seasons, but the adventure has finally disipated enough for the tawdriness seems to have finally overcome it. I just shuddered tonight for a moment, and thought, "Thank God I'm not associated with this thing." Kind of surprised me. Didn't know if I'd ever get there.

But then I'm not in the best mood today. More on that later.

---

Meanwhile, down to three now, and no big surprise that Eliza got the boot. Except to Eliza--what a ninny. Still not sure of Chris' logic about how he'll get to the final two. Maybe he assumes he'll beat them in the challenge, or that they'll turn on each other to face the jury with him.

I guess I'm betting on Scout to win now. And I sure hope she does.

I'd really hate to see the women finally pull it together one season, get rid of nearly all the women, and then turn on each other and give it to the guy. That would be so sad. Even worse than seeing that Twila win.

What was he thinking?

Mon, 13 Dec 2004 02:15:54 GMT

Just catching up on Survivor.

I had a feeling Jules was going Thursday, because it appeared so obvious that she would stay. Burnett never gives away an episode like that.

But why? Why why why why why?

I had really grown to like her. And respect her. She was my leading pick to win--both hoped for and betting for.

Either we've been deprived of a lot of info, or that Chris is a complete idiot.

And when Eliza giggled about she and Chris making it to the final two, I nearly puked.

But then any of these four winning would make me puke. The fatal flaw of this show. Why do I keep watching? Not for the endings, surely. But still plenty of great stuff along the way.

Now, Eliza. Can't believe I'm saying this, but . . .

I have gradually come to like her, kind of, in a weird sort of way, after her early start as probably my least favorite member of the cast.

But maybe it's just the way Scout and especially Twila have come to grate. And Chris is there because he was the most pathetic of the men.

Sad. Again.

But I'll be watching tonight. Any minute.

They Shoot Survivors Don't They?

Fri, 03 Dec 2004 05:33:04 GMT

One more thought.

They can really torture those people sometimes.

The desperation not just in their faces, but in their bodies tonight, as they slogged through the final leg of that reward challenge. (Or for Scout, the award challenge.) The way Ami and the 4th-place woman just stumbled off into the water, repeatedly. They looked drunk, almost, so fatigued, their bodies just faltered and pitched off the bamboo for no apparent reason.

For what? For food! For the fourth, desperate person, it was just to eat.

First thing in my life that has ever reminded me of They Shoot Horses Don't They?

Brutal freaking movie. Brutal freaking show.

But still fascinating to watch. None of the suspense the series once held for me, but these moments, these incredible moments of human beings forced to the boundaries of desperation . . .

Incredible.

Losing Ami

Fri, 03 Dec 2004 05:26:08 GMT

Ah, it's over.

Another Survivor season, another favorite player gone.

And another overconfident Survivor thrown off the island because she thought she had it locked up weeks ago. She let it show, so did her alliancemates, and the little people did not particularly care for it.

I still like her.

Especially after what the little waif said about her. I never much liked that incredibly shrinking woman, but I liked her at tribal council when she related how Ami encouraged her. That was a side we hadn't really seen of Ami, and a really powerful one.

She was great. People wanted to make her like them. She was maybe a little too likeable, a little too powerful. Not a good thing in this game. She almost pulled it off, but not quite.

And she made a couple horrible blunders. Last week . . . All I could think was, fool me once . . .

When Scout and Twiti got caught red-handed plotting against the rest of them, they should have booted one of them immediately. At the very least, booted the guy they were allying with. But to trust them not to do the very same thing again? Of course they did the very same thing again.

Ami might well have won the whole thing if not for that collosal blunder--though she might have had a tough time when it got down to three or four and everyone realized they had to ditch her.

But you can't make a mistake that big in this game, so she had it coming.

Still, I was hoping.

So you know who I'm rooting for now? You probably won't believe this, but the young one who voted with her tonight.

I didn't think much of that woman for a long time, but she has grown on me. She definitely has picked up this game as she went along. I love the looks she gives. She just knows when shit is erupting, and she knows to keep her mouth shut. She seems to be reading the people extremely well, though she is not in the best position.

But she's still there.

And not feared, I think, which could help her greatly.

Survivor

Fri, 12 Nov 2004 01:30:42 GMT

Sorry for the silence on Survivor. Been so freaking busy.

Still enjoy the show a lot, though not so madly in love.

I silently picked Ami about four weeks ago to win the whole thing, though I've had many second and third thoughts.

I thought she really blew it when she went a little loco and kicked off one of her alliancemates. That could and should have cost her the game, but the men were too dumb to grasp what was off, and kicked off that idiot Jon, sealing there fate. (Apparently.)

Nice to see the women stick together for once. When Ami, of all people, who I saw as one of the best players ever nearly blew it, I seriously wondered whether you could ever get a group of women not to turn on each other.

(Why do women do that? Why do men stick together? All those millenia working and playing on teams? Have we evolved that way?)

But so nice to see them hold it together last week.

Only the first 15 minutes of the show has played here so far, and I'm going to have to catch the rest later, but I doubt the women will fold. At awful Eliza, the most annoying person of the season might, but with only three men left, it's not going to happen. At most, she'll just do herself in. I could easily see her going down in a failed coup attempt. That woman is CLUEless.

But Ami, she's something.

I especially liked when Rory--also really annoying--said he wasn't going to be their bitch, doing all the work when he was on the chopping block, and she didn't miss a beat. Relax, then. Enjoy yourself. You're right, you'd be silly to be our bitch, so take it easy. You're still going home next.

She didn't even look down from her work. No animosity about it, and no intention of using him, just devouring him.

She's made the mistake of pulling a few too many strings, though. I thought she was going to sail just under the radar, where she needs to be.

Luckily, she's got Scout. I smiled and cheered several weeks back, when Dimples asked them each for a leader, and Ami knew she had to act fast--before anyone could shout out her name, she yelled, "Scout!" Smart.

And Scout wasn't smart enough to poo poo it. Or not humble enough.

As long as Ami can keep Scout positioned as the leader, she may be safe. She just needs to make sure she doesn't face Scout in the final.

Or the other way she could win if people are just too afraid of her, like those all stars were for Dumb Rob. But in all the Survivors, I think that's the only time that ever worked.

Now we'll see if I got everything wrong.

Brady update

Mon, 11 Oct 2004 19:58:56 GMT

I lamented missing Brady's Early Show appearance following his booting from Survivor, and David Boxwell posted this in the comments:

You didn't miss anything--just a pre-recorded 3 minute interview instead of the full-blown appearance; he's in the War on Terra now, according to the Early Show, as an FBI agent overseas and so can't appear on TV now!

Ahhhhh. very interesting.

Which just makes him just all the more alluring.

Thanks for the update, David.

Braaaaa-dy!

Fri, 08 Oct 2004 19:53:23 GMT

Damn. Worst thing about Survivor? Watching the best players get thrown out early.

And just before the team shuffle, that easily could have saved him.

Man, I liked that guy. Top to bottom, and I don't just mean physically.

Really enjoyed his goodbye speech, too.

"Well, how much did that suck?"

Heeheehee. Seldom seen anyone that candid, yet immediately self-deprecating. "Can't help but feeling like a bit of a loser . . ."

And then he turned it around again with a positive thought that avoided puffing up his chest unreasonably.

So many people have gone off saying They only kicked me out because I'm so fucking great! Brady merely said he hoped someone was saying that--and in his case they were, unlike most of the people clinging to the dream no one ever had--and he did it with a smile. Love that guy. Will miss him. And forgot to set the Tivo to Early Show him.

Damn!

Selfish Survivors

Fri, 08 Oct 2004 19:41:13 GMT

Eliza. Ugh. Nothing amazes me more on Survivor--or infuriates me in life--than the player incapable of seeing any event from a vantage point other than their own.

Eliza felt threatened the first vote, so betrayed her alliance and voted with the enemy. She had her reasons, but she betrayed them. But it was just for one vote, and she apologized.

And she thinks that made everything right! She really seems to think that. Never occurs to her that someone might think, Fool me once . . . Especially on the very first vote!

She assumes they're all inside her head and can see that she was only doing it once, and she's totally on board with them.

So when Lisa finds herself in exactly the same position--fearing a betrayal from within her alliance, she bolts first and betrays them instead--you would think Eliza would be the most understanding. Under the very same circumstances, she made the very same call.

Instead, she's infuriated, and more astounding, incredulous. She just can't fathom it.

Obviously, the entire world revolves around her.

What makes it even more ridiculous is that Lisa had much more reason to be worried--in her case, the risky person had already shown concrete evidence of betrayal--and it actually made sense. At least Lisa had a solid plan with a high degree of success: switch sides while the offer was out there, create a strong, trusting new 5-person alliance with a commanding lead.

Eliza set up a shaky alliance where no one would trust her who could at best hope for a 4-4 split. And if they did prove victorious, everyone would resent her right down to the end. She played nothing but a losing hand in her betrayal--it was idiotic, and Ami played her badly. Lisa was doing something really smart in jumping ship.

Any sane person would be dissappointed and probably pissed, but would at least see how Lisa was as smart as she was stupid.

Nope.

Meanwhile, the men are saddled with a much dumber player. Moron John was hysterical acting perplexed about the alliance voting off the young guys. Sure, it may backfire, but the strategy is pretty straightforward, not to mention having a lot of merit. He just can't even seem to grasp it.

I think he still hasn't figured out that he's not out for a high school intramural event.

And on what basis does he keep referring to himself as one of the athletic guys? What does a pretty face have to do with athletics?

---

I love watching the women win this year, for some reason. Found myself rooting for them in spite of the extreme danger to my fave Brady. And watching them work with Da for a day was a wonder to behold.

I have watched everything but the last five minutes so far, still hoping Brady can pull it out, but kinda doubting it.

Could he have looked more studly marching off to fish with the spear? Too bad he didn't catch anything, not that it would have mattered. He seems to be playing a really weak hand pretty well, trying to squeeze open a little crack in the alliance. But he made his big mistake day one. What was he thinking? I love watching him. Some of his smiles at tribal were priceless.

Survivor comment thread

Fri, 08 Oct 2004 16:21:47 GMT

I flew back to Denver late last night, worked till 2:30 a.m., so I haven't seen Survivor yet. Will probably watch and post today.

Meanwhile, feel free to post comments here.

A few people have already begun to post in last week's Survivor comment thread, so you'll find more there, including David Boxwell's wonderful haikus. (At least they're ususally wonderful. I'm going to take a chance that he's up to usual form this week. Have to avoid looking at them till I've seen the ep.)

Meanwhile, can't wait to watch John Kerry kick Fearless Leader's ass a second time, tonight.