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Thursday, October 24, 2002

The AP are just putting out the astonishing story that the prosecutors might just possibly seek the big D for the beltway snipers. I mean well duhh!

The snipers had it all wrong, they should have got themselves elected govenor, then they could have had their sport all straight and legal and done it from the comfort of their office.

Fortunately I'm not facing the problem Jimmy Ryan has in Chicago with incumbent George Ryan looking set to give clemency to all 158 prisoners currently on death row. That would pretty much mean that Ryan has no chance of getting any sort of body count going until his second term if he can get one. To add insult to injury half the voters think George and Jimmy are somehow related and that Jimmy might have been involved in George's driving license sale scam.

But for this last minute clemency thing Jimmy might have been in with a chance of topping W's record for 'topping' people. As it is he will be hard pushed to beat the snipers.


10:50:25 PM    Comment []

In two weeks time the Tribune will be reporting my victory in the Governor's election. Unless of course the polls lie or Jackass can get his vote out. The first is possible, after all if Kenny-boy Lay and Martha Stewart can turn out to be liars then I guess we have to accept the possibility that John Zogby is just stringing us all along. I mean the economy is in the toilet, the stock market has tanked, we are about to start a war and we are led by President Harken and Vice President Halliburton, but the polls tell us that far from getting our ass handed to us on a plate with a sprig of parsley we may get the Senate back. I am not one to complain at such a stroke of fortune, but one has to wonder if come election day the voters are going to do to our percentage of the vote what we did to their 401Ks.

The real issue is turnout. A ten point lead is a ten point lead, unless that is the other guy can get ten percent more of his base to go down to the polling station and vote, or more likely get ten percent of your vote to stay at home and watch the reruns of Seinfeld instead.

In Florida they still keep the other guy's vote from getting to the polls with some well placed police roadblocks and taking their voters of the electoral roll. Out here we use electoral science and attack ads. What these new methods lack in satisfaction they make up for in effectiveness.

Electoral science is the key, in the past you just promised anything to everyone. These days you just work on getting 51% on your side, 51% at the polls that is. You don't have to promise anything to young people, they don't vote and if they do they vote for a libertarian looney promising to abolish the position she is running for or a tree hugger promising to replace the govenors limo with a bicycle.


10:01:16 PM    Comment []


 
 
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