Now the first thing you have to consider is that someone, somewhere expressed a need. "I wish there was a way that I could be across the room and make people sound like they're farting." It's a wish that probably happens all the time, but one person had a dream, a vision.

Enter the T.J. Wisemen (three of them?), Ltd Company of Boca Raton, FL. ("Since 1993, T J Wisemen ahs been the international powerhouse in the REMOTE CONTROLLED FART MACHINE industry.") An as yet unknown junior vice-president for marketing told his boss earnestly "I know there's a market for this. I'll bet millions of people would pay for a Fart Machine!" His bonus sealed, the job fell next to the engineers in Research and Development. They were probably the ones who came up with the remote control part ("Hey Barb, watch this!"). The proper fart sounds had to be duplicated, the right rhythms and consistencies in the right order. How long should the perfect fart last? Is a two-part fart inherently funnier? How wet? You just know there were staff meetings about this, maybe even focus groups.

Once the engineering was done and designs approved, the job was outsourced to China and patents appled for (because you wouldn't want someone to steal such a great idea). At the same time, the marketing department must have had to work up some PowerPoint presentations on packaging, distribution, sales hooks (LOADS OF LAFFS!!). Do you suppose they had a celebration on roll-out day? Did they Beta test it? Were there sales contests. Maybe the winning salesman got a vacation in Bayone, NJ or at a rendering plant.

The end result? We, the consumers of America, want for nothing. Our cheese remains easy and our farts remote controlled and hundreds of people can take pride in coming together in this common cause. Small wonder that other countries are jealous of our culture. That's why American business leads the world. The remote controlled Fart Machine - for today and for posterity!
8:08:20 AM    Comments?()