"Why can't the sleazy manipulators figure it out before they are driven, in desperation, like one of their number, to leap bare-assed off a multi-million dollar yacht into the roiling sea of a cold and merciless dawn?

You tell me. All I know is that every so often we have to save capitalism from being destroyed by the very people who benefit from it the most."

Strong stuff and still appropriate! Go there.
11:28:07 PM    Comments?()  

"What if all the religions were represented at the pearly gates? We might just hear the following: 'I just want to let everyone know:Baptists,Catholics, Muslims,Buddhists, Agnostics, Atheists, you were way off. Rastafarians, follow me. And bring your lighters.'" --- Tom Ryan

"I was recently born again. I must admit it's a glorious and wonderful experience. I can't say my mother enjoyed it a whole lot." --- John Wing
11:16:41 PM    Comments?()  

Another snotty comment about cell phones set me off. A story in today's paper about the recent snow storm talked about drivers getting used to driving in the snow again. "Impatience led to a majority of crashes, said Neil June of Westlake. "That, and they're too busy with their cell phones." Cell phones, my ass! It's just as much caused by self-righteous yuppie-wannabes like Neil who inhabit the McMansions of Westlake and think Volvos and Beemers give them divine right of passage!

This whole anti-cell phone thing came about intitally because cell phones were once a thing for the rich. Certain of them didn't at all mind being pretentious and brandished those phones as proof of their alpha status. As phones became more common, "Guess where I'm calling from?" became the mark of the novice. Now, and especially since September 2001, cell phones are an integral part of American society at nearly all levels.

But everytime some yahoo with a Nokia gets in an accident, someone is bound to accuse the phone as being the culprit - as though the phone drove the damn car! Cause-and-effect is based on facts, not belief. It's not like guns; cell phones aren't designed to kill people. It's more analagous to Big Macs. People who are idiots shouldn't try to eat while they're driving.

I remember driving down the highway to work one morning at a brisk 70 mph, when I was passed by a woman in a pickup truck, passed like a Florida senior citizen at Daytona. I looked over and saw the driver hunched up close to the wheel, looking into the mirror on the visor and putting on her makeup. Eyeliner, to be precise! At 85 miles per hour! If she had caused an accident would there be calls for legislation to ban Estee Lauder?

Another morning it was the suited exec in his Accura, tooling down the road, happy as a clam, with his newspaper propped up on the steering wheel. Should we ban the Wall Street Journal?

Back when I smoked, I dropped a lit cigarette in my lap. I was more dangerous that day, then any day since on the phone! Shall we legislate against smoking in cars? For my money, yes. But that's personal prejudice.

What is the problem? "People talking forget they're driving." Some people, I'm sure, do this. Some people are morons and shouldn't be allowed out unaccompanied. Multi-tasking is only a word they have to look up. Those people will cause accidents, whether by cell phone or dropped french fry. But how do mandatory hands-free sets solve this? If people would drive (as many do) with intelligence and courtesy, the roads would be a lot safer.

The argument, of course, is that people should only be driving. As the mechanics on NPR would have it, "Shut Up and Drive." That would mean no talking at all, not to the kids in the back seat, the lover next to you or even muttering at the fool who just cut you off. No eating, swatting bees, smoking, tuning the radio (don't even turn it on - you could be distracted by that fool Rush), or scratching your crotch. And, especially, no make-up!

I've got to go now - going down to the Interstate and make a few calls.
12:54:05 PM    Comments?()