Joe wasn't a mean drunk, nor was he particularly happy. He just drank and acted stupid, though I'm not sure which came first. Joe would drink until he passed out, usually in some public place, and someone would call EMS. Sometimes he went to our hospital, sometimes to the one across the street - it depended on who the medics were pissed at at the moment. We'd put him in a bed, get an alcohol level and give him IV fluids and vitamins. Sometimes we'd get up a pool to try and guess his alcohol level - a dollar a guess and the closest without going over won. (You never knew that happened, did you?)

Joe got beat up a few times, rolled for whatever pocket change he had left at the end of a night. One day the police got a call that someone was hanging from a tree in a vacant lot. They got there and found Joe, who had attempted suicide, swinging from a tree, but very much alive. Other than being a little hoarse and a little disappointed, he was ok.

On another occasion, Joe was tired from a hard day of boozing and decided to lay down and catch some z's. The problem was, he laid down on the driveway, right behind his brother's car. Shortly after, his brother and friends decided to drive down to the corner. They got in the car, started it up, put it in reverse and - Wump! - "Oh shit! We just ran over Joe!". Well, they couldn't leave him under the car, so they did the only logical thing: drive forward! Wump! Got him again. . .

Joe survived with only a broken pelvis and lived to drink and sleep in the ED for many more years.
8:09:49 AM    Comments?()