NoCode/The Daily Bushwhack

Saturday, February 8, 2003

I don't even know where to start writing. The monitor in front of me looms as large as a theater screen, but with far less promise. Maybe I'll go the bathroom . . . Ok, now I'm ready. The chair isn't quite right, could be a little bit higher. Where's my Diet Pepsi? Got to have a drink, first. It pays to wet the ol' whistle prior to a heavy session of creativity. Shit! I forgot to call the lawyer's office this morning (Make a note call. lawyer. in. AM.). Ok, now to the business at hand. Hmmm, I never was any good at business. I took a business course in college, at my father's insistence. I don't know when I have ever been so apathetic and bored. Which, of course, really sucks because, had I gone on to get an MBA. I'd be close to retiring to my vacation home in Florida right now, rather than sitting in front of a keyboard at 3 in the morning, hoping that no patients come in so I can have some "creative time". . . Which is what this is supposed to be. . . "A man walked into a bar. Ouch!". . . Do I need to buy cat food on the way home?. . . I should really give this up. I have nothing of interest to say to anyone . . . Maybe if I stretched for minute . . . I almost wish I still smoked. Then I could stop, reach in my shirt for the pack of cigarettes and enjoy the ritual of tapping the filter-end on the table twice, putting the cigarette between my chapped lips, striking the lighter and drawing in that first sweet hit of tobacco smoke, the cigarette end glowing merrily, my small airways occluding rapidly from lack of oxygen, my blood pressure rising, my - oh, forget it! Besides, you can't smoke in a hospital (though I remember the days when you could. When Kit was a baby, she was on the peds floor the night I stopped smoking. Four in the morning, I sat in the parents lounge just up the hall, puffing furiously on the last of my Kools) . . . I once quoted Don Marquis - "Expression is the need of my soul." Right now inspiration is the need of my soul. Sleep is the need of my soul . . . Ok, all right, really . . . I mean it . . . now's the time to start writing. Now! Go ahead . . . I really should buy some cat food . . . shit.
8:10:21 AM

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