Well well well...
Although I shouldn't really care about this, because Time lost all cred with me when they DIDN'T pick bin Laden a year ago (talk about political correctness winning out over merit)...let's handicap the less-than-stellar field...
- Bush WILL get it...which is sad, because he's really done absolutely nothing to deserve it. The only reason I think it'd be fitting is because Hitler got this award just before he tried going Bronco on the world, too. I hate this guy more than any creature who's ever inhabited the planet, but he's probably a shoo-in.
- bin Laden SHOULD have won last year...he doesn't have a chance this year. If he gets it, this is the ultimate journalistic make-up call.
- Hussein hasn't done anything except get threatened by Dumbya's Fourth Reich. Not a chance.
- Mr. Mathers is an intriguing possibility...and while I don't know if there's any kind of precedent in terms of an entertainer copping this "award," I've gotta think he's probably the second most-likely candidate right now...and maybe the most deserving. He put out the best-selling album of the year, starred in a huge blockbuster film, became easily the most talked-about entertainment figure since Thriller blew up...and, perhaps most importantly, earned a mainstream rep as the "tormented controversial genius with a sensitive side." There's never been anyone quite like him, and hip-hop culture OWNS America now. Besides (as McGruder would point out)...he's white.
- Arafat and Sharon don't have a chance unless they reach a peace in the next 2 weeks.
- Cheney will get it if he pushes the button...otherwise, the puppet master ain't done shit.
- Rumsfeld? Maybe if it was "Lackey of the Year."
- Rice? Aside from devaluing my ND degree, she's done nothing. She and Powell, sad though it may be, are being considered because it's the politically correct thing to do. They do nothing but bow to the Fuhrer.
- Rowley? Although a whistle-blower would be an accurate sign-o-the-times, there's no chance.
- Palestinian suicide bombers? Are they better than Israeli homicide bombers?
- If Martha Stewart gets it, Time might as well change its name to People.
- Corporate crooks would be an intriguing pick, but tabbing Bush would cover this.
- Karzai and Musharraf? Nah...
- Sparxxx may be onto something, though. As trivial as people consider college football to be, Willingham has been THE sports story of the year. He's essentially become the Jackie Robinson of coaching...the barometer by which all black coaches will be judged, fair or not. And his success, surprising or not, has been quite the feel-good story. I would seriously consider him for this. Time probably won't, but I can't see many people on their list that were more relevant.
Odds on the actual pick?
- Bush 1:1000, corporate crooks 2000:1, Eminem 2000:1, everyone else 1 million:1.
My ballot?
1. Marshall Mathers
2. Tyrone Willingham
3. Adolf W. Bush
If Em or Tyrone "Bubba's Nickname Is Redundant" Willingham gets it, I will subscribe to Time for life. If Martha Stewart wins, I'll dig up Time's staff directory and order a People subscription for all of them.
They've got a chance to redeem themselves. Let's see how bad they blow it.
-- O
11:01:07 AM 
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