Okay...it's been a while since I dropped a nice big steamy blanket rant...so I think I'm gonna do that...
I fucking despise stupid people.
I'm not even sorry for offending you if you're one of them. Most of you likely are in some capacity and don't even realize it. And most of you could do something about it -- but since you suck, you don't.
There are many categories of sucky, stupid people. Let's examine a few of my least favorites in brief...
- The airhead. The stereotype states that most of these are females, which is not entirely true -- although they seem to be the ones that flaunt their stupidity more blatantly...almost as if a lack of intelligence is a turn-on. One particular idiot that I was dumb enough to hang around with for a few weeks had absolutely nothing of substance to say...and yet she couldn't stop talking. She would spend 10 minutes running through the stuff she needed to do the next day -- not realizing that she had already told me that same shit about six times. There are millions of these people...and while some of them may be nice people, having a conversation with them is about as fun as giving yourself an enema with a circle saw. I highly recommend avoiding these people at all costs...
- The Republican. Again, I know some nice Republicans. Some of them even show hints of being otherwise intelligent people. And yet when it comes to playing politics, they have their heads so far up their asses that their faces wind up right back where they belong -- only covered in shit. Republicans, by and large, tend to exhibit most of the qualities I despise in most people. They're selfish -- "I'm a millionaire that deserves a tax break...the people that need them are poor because they're lazy. Fuck them." They're high-strung -- "I'm waiting until I'm married to have sex, and then only missionary for three minutes please." They spend way too much time worrying about other people -- "If we let gay people get married, they're going to ruin our lives!!! (Except not really.) We must stop these heathens at all costs!" And they're afraid of the wrong people -- "Black people are going to eat my babies!!! Terrorists are going to blow up my kid's school!!! Ludacris is destroying American family values!!!" Basically, they're the kind of people that can ruin any kind of a good time. So fuck them too...
- The loud fat guy. They're not always stupid per se -- just dumb because they don't know how annoying they are, so they don't stop annoying you. Especially the drunk ones. So yeah. Aggravating...especially since they largely don't smell very pleasant either...
- The smart dumb guy. This is an entirely different animal than the dumb smart guy, the one who is brilliant but sometimes forgets shit (prime example: me). The smart dumb guy is the one who doesn't know a fucking thing, but insists that he's an expert on whatever random subject it is he knows nothing about. These are also well worth avoiding...if you state a fact and someone argues it vehemently, that's usually a sign. "Two plus two is five, man...let me explain." It's best to just walk away...
- The guy who doesn't understand no. These don't bother me so much...but to the non-stupid female, they're often a major burr in the rectum. This guy...usually drunk, often ugly and boxing out of his weight class, gets it in his head that he's going to get some play from a particular girl...and no matter how hard the girl drops the hint...be it walking away or saying "ummm...whatever dipshit...get off me"...the guy simply doesn't get it. We admire his persistence, and he can be entertaining to watch...but yeah...he's stupid...
- THE ALL CAPS GUY. An internet phenomenon, this person is a relatively technologically advanced annoyance. They're crying out for attention, and they usually can't spell very well or think of anything to say besides "WHATEVER FAG I PROLLY FUCK MORE CHIX THAN U DO SO FUCK OFF." These people are the main reason that the "ignore" function is so popular in chat rooms. If I get emails in all caps, I delete without even reading a word. Basically, this is the best way to annoy someone without even speaking...
- The old guy with a sense of entitlement. Now don't get me wrong...I respect my elders, by and large. Some of them are cool, and some have lots of wisdom to offer. There are some, however, that believe that us youngins owe them the world just because they're old. If I get you your mail, it's because I'm nice. It's not because I'm your personal bitch. Being old does not mean you know everything or deserve more shit. You already get senior discounts. Enjoy them...
- The compliment fisher. Hot girls that go around saying "oh I'm fat" or "oh I'm ugly" just to draw a response. (The guys that take the bait and kiss these girls' asses are also on the list, because guys that sweat chicks too hard -- we'll call this guy "The Joe" -- are stupid and aggravating.) Basically, I just agree with the self-depreciator...that way, there's no argument and everyone's happy...
Clearly, there are many more genres of stupid people, and they should all be taken out and beaten. But perhaps this guide will help the non-stupid among you to help avoid a good segment of the stupid populace. Good luck.
-- O
9:06:53 PM 
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