UN weapons inspectors discover
Hussein drinks Pepsi instead of Coke 
The White House is on the brink of declaring war this morning after discovering Saddam Hussein the Weasel drinks Pepsi instead of the administration-approved Coke. In addition, my Extremely Reliable Anonymous Source, Lumpy the Mongoose, tells me that Saddam the Weasel is also enamored with Pepsi's spokeswoman, Brittany Spears. The half-cat President, George W. Bush, is reportedly terrified of Spears for reasons unknown.
UN weapons inspectors are taking the discovery in stride. "We expected this," says Inspector Blix, the head of the team. "Hussen is also known to read Penthouse instead of Playboy. We feel he is simply taunting President Bush."
The taunting continues all this week, as inspectors are determined to discover Hussein's brand of underwear (hanes or homemade), his preferred method of payment (visa or mastercard) and his favorite pretentious coffee drink (super-tall-frosty-mocha-choca-latte vs semi-super-grande-moldy-mocha-choca-cream-latte). Stay tuned for regular updates right here, with The Rat.
11:59:47 PM 
|
