Support segregation: stick Trent Lott on a deserted island
Trent Lott the Cat coughed up a furball yesterday when he said he voted for segregationist Strom Thurmond back in the dark days of the 20th century American South. The feline press has, of course, overlooked this momentary burst of honesty from the Senate Majority Leader, but numerous weblogs have grabbed the story.
The whole segregation thing is, to a rat, bizarre. Humans have one of the least diverse gene pools of any species. Pigmentation, though perhaps of use in making fashion statements, has no real purpose. Humans are still slimy naked things. Really, as much as I like my human friends, I find all that bare skin to be positively icky. Cover it up, I say.
As for Mr. Lott, there are many kinds of segregation. My favorite kind is when someone like Mr. Lott is segregated from the rest of us on a deserted island in the South Pacific. I'm taking collections for his steerage ticket on the Holland America ship Pukindamm. Don't worry, he will have plenty of company, including "Wilson" from that Tom Hanks movie. And my annoying cousin Slimey the Rat, who I've been meaning to ship out for some time.
Open letter to the Bob the Bushy-Tailed Wood Rat
Dear Bob,
We in the American rodent community appreciate your long service to this country. We really, really, really do. You're a spiffy example of what a rat should be. But the time has come for you to step down. Styles of dress have changed, and John Kerry the Human no longer needs you to act as his hairpiece. Please remove yourself from his head forthwith.
Sincerely,
Pesky the Rat
2:25:23 PM 
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