Santa Claus masses elves at
Iraq's Jordanian border; prepares to unleash puppies
I've received word this morning that Santa Claus of the Claus Toy Cartel, who previously agreed to support President Bush's war on Iraq, has a battallion of 10,000 elves massed in Jordon, waiting to cross the border to implement the puppy scenario. Bush has asked Claus to take a key role in defeating Iraq's most dangerous weapon: millions of teenage and pre-teen girls. The first wave of elves is poised to attack, each carrying two exceptionally cute puppies designed to distract the teenage girls.
This new development may help explain the Bush Administration's push to launch the war by February. Puppies are an effective weapon, but have a short shelf life. By late February, each puppy will have become a mostly-grown, not-so-cute adolescent dog that needs desperately to be fixed.
9:01:00 AM 
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