Full
archives For
New Readers
--What
are Salon Blogs? What is a weblog/blog?
--About
the Author
--Note
for Parents
Other
Goodies
--Boss-is-coming
Page
--Pesky
Postcards
--The
Rodent News Service
Pesky's
Links
Salon Blogs
--Life
on Earth
--David
Harris
--The Blog
Tolls
--No Code
--FG Al Quedas
--Barbaric Yawp
--Play with Food
--Standing Room
--Real Live Preacher
--Rayne Today
--Secular Blasph.
--Readme.blog
--Filchyboy
--Raven
--Miss
Feva
--Maxine
--Fiona
--RF Blogistan
Other Blogs
--FictionBlogs
--Lord Bonkers'
Diary
--BlogDogs
Small Fuzzy Issues
--Cavy Spirit
--Rat Club
--Hamsterdance
--Hamster for Prez
Subscribe to this blog in Radio: 
E-mail this blog's author, Susan McNerney :
| Foreign
Affairs
The
Rat ponders the coming war
Britain
admits it plagiarized UN report from homework of 11-year-old California girl
Bush's
attempt to show Iraq's "smoking gun" during State of the Union address
goes horribly wrong
Rumsfeld
terrifies Europeans by saying, "the center of gravity in Europe is shifting
East"; millions of French & Germans desperately glue valuables to the
floor
Oregon
real estate agent offers to help Saddam relocate
Bush
declares war on UN weapons inspectors
Rumsfeld
says lack of evidence on Iraq is evidence in and of itself
Bush
cites Iraqis for poor grammar in weapons declaration
Raelian
cult claims North Korean leader is clone of Bush
Bush
administration announces Santa Claus to support attack on Iraq
Bush
misinterprets UN map of falafel stands
The
Mother of all Quotients
More
Iraq Stories...
National
Security
Total Information Awareness Snapshot of the Day: Glenda the Bear
Ashcroft
declares ancient redwoods to be terrorists
Dick
Cheney caught skipping commercials with TIVO
Economy
Bush says tax cut necessary to "heal a dividended nation"
Bush: "Those of you with class have no right to make fun of those of us who
have none"
Worldcom inflated earnings to consume all available space in the universe within
ten days
Politics
Interview
with Ron the Echinoderm, Bush Administration policy analyst
Geraldo discovers hundreds of Democratic lawmakers in underground vault
John Ashcroft accused of persecuting Sea Hares for sexual practices
Bush vows to end affirmative action for white males
New Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist chased by headless laboratory cats, nearly
crushed by falling cow
Interview with Tippy the Libertarian Cow
The
Nancy Pelosi Female Glances of Doom
Henry
Kissinger fires himself after watching reruns of "Dr. Phil", overthrows
Salvation Army, declares war on mall Santas
Trent
Lott eaten by snake
Bush
proposes reverse paychecks for Federal employees
Behind
the Bush poll numbers
Where
the heck is Ralph Nader?
Bio
of Snuffy the Cat
Janet the Snake
Janet
the Snake defends tax cuts for the rich
Janet
the Snake defends Harvey Pitt
Janet
the Snake gloats about the election
Intro
to Janet the Snake
Janet's
original weblog
Misc.
Guest
Correspondent: Bitey the Dog
The
Rat rants about the pet psychic
Rat
Porn
Eye
of Sauron caught shoplifting at Wal-Mart
Stanford
scientists deny cloning humans
The
Insane Turkey Saga
Duplication
& Multiplication of Chickens Act (DMCA)
Disturbing
interview with Keiko the Killer Whale
Full
archives
|
 |
Tuesday, January 07, 2003 |
Total Information Awareness snapshot of the day
Name: Glenda the Bear
Address: 650th Redwood Grove on the Left, Orick, California
Last 10 credit card transactions: 
- 12/01/02 Redwood Roy's Powertool Paradise, Eureka, CA: Bigass Chainsaw, $578.
- 12/01/02 Costco, Eureka, CA: Little Debbie snack cakes, 6 gross. $78.
- 12/01/02 Arcata Co-op, Arcata, CA: Recycled toilet paper, 10 pack; organic honey, 30 pounds. $97.
- 12/01/02 KMart, McKinleyville, CA: Martha Stewart fashion jeans, size 18, quantity, 2. $12.
- 12/01/02 Biff's Guns 'n Stuff, McKinleyville, CA: pepper spray, 2 packs. $15.
- 12/06/02 Cherae-Heights Indian Casino, Trinidad., CA: $375 for 2 cent slots. $10 for all-you-can-eat buffet.
- 12/11/02 Amazon.com, purchased from Orick, CA: Thelma & Louise, DVD; Lonely Planet Guide to the Grand Canyon. $30.
- 12/14/02 Wobbly the Raccoon's Bear Hospital, Westhaven, CA: $100 emergency room co-pay for chainsaw accident.
- 12/18/02 Ronette's Flowers, Trinidad, CA: Get Well bouquet, sent to self. $30.
- 01/01/03 Travelocity, purchased from Orick, CA: One-way ticket to Las Vegas, Nevada, Grand Canyon package tour. $750.
Terrorist index: The likelyhood this subject is a terrorist is 87%.
Republican index: The likelyhood this subject is a patriotic Republican is 37%
Personality flags: Can be placated with food. Easily bribed. Has issues with men. Possibly addicted to huckleberries.
11:14:21 PM 
|
|
Interview with Raelian spokescreature Mush the Squid
I had a chance recently to catch up with Mush the Squid, featured here recently speaking for his cult, the Raelians. Mush, like many squid, is a multifaceted individual and has strong opinions on a variety of issues.
Pesky: Thank you for joining me today, Mush.
Mush: Thank you Pesky. You are  small, like a tiny pillow.
Pesky: I get that a lot. First question: does your organization feel that cloning humans is really ethical, given that cloning is a highly experimental science?
Mush: Yes, this is a large question. I can see why the tiny pillow would ask. I would say, no.
Pesky: So you admit this practice is unethical?
Mush: We admit nothing. The tiny pillow assumes to much.
Pesky: But you said--
Mush: I am Dim Sum.
Pesky: You are Chinese a-la-carte dumplings?
Mush: I am sesame balls.
Pesky: I can see that. On to theology. Do Raelians believe in God?
Mush: We believe in science. And fajitas.
Pesky: Fajitas?
Mush: FAJITAS.
Pesky: Fair enough. What do Raelians think about the prospect of a worldwide ban on human cloning?
Mush: The tiny pillow disturbs us.
Pesky: All right, last question. What caused you to join the Raelian cult?
Mush: I like ABBA. I wish there to be many ABBAs. The Raelians promised me many, many ABBAs. Still, I wait for the ABBAs. They say soon. I wish the ABBAs to be now. Do you know where the ABBAs are?
Pesky: Sadly, no.
Mush: I must now eat the tiny pillow.
Pesky: SECURITY!!
11:54:54 AM
|
|
|
|
