Tampa Bay Buccaneers replaced by insane turkeys
Stay tuned for updates as this unprecedented situation progresses.
Update: 5:13pm Pacific Time: The insane turkeys have kidnapped and replaced the entire Buccaneers lineup and run roughshod over the merely human Raiders defensive line. At halftime, the score is now 20 to 3, and despite their best efforts, the Raiders have been unable to convince head referee Chuck the Zebra that the game should be called off. The turkeys have not only replaced the Buccaneer players, but the entire stadium concession staff, as well, and are now flinging sushi and hot dogs into the stands. Now at halftime one insane turkey has lodged itself inside Shania Twain's hair and caused her to fling herself about wildly on a crane during the halftime show.
Update: 5:17pm Pacific Time: Shania Twain has disappeared, apparently consumed by man-eating insane turkeys. Singer Gwen Stefani is now singing on the stage nervously, constantly looking around and occassionally shrieking in fright.
Update: 5:22pm Pacific Time: Sting is now singing "sending out an SOS" at the top of his lungs, apparently begging for outside assistance to control the rapidly proliferating insane turkeys. Alas, help fails to come, and both Sting and Stefani eventually succumb to six turkeys wielding kalishnikovs.
Update: 5:42pm Pacific Time: The game has resumed, despite protests from the Raiders' management. Chuck the Zebra is now embroiled in a referee scandal after several fans witnessed him taking a large bribe from a small turkey. Raiders players are now quivering in fear as the turkeys swarm the field, crushing the Oakland defense.
4:02:56 PM 
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