Bush changes name to "Captain Neo", starts wearing
one white glove on his right hand, moonwalks into
Jell-o sculpture at White House party
In what my be a symptom of the President's growing stress levels, George Bush today announced he is changing his name and will commence wearing a white glove on his right hand. Bush has chosen the name "Captain Neo" as a nod to his neoconservative roots, his love for fish, and his obsession with Michael Jackson (otherwise known as The Trifecta).
Immediately after the announcement, Bush threw a massive party in the west wing, inviting most of his close friends, including Tony Blair. While the President did not imbibe, being off the wagon as he is, rumor has it that brownies provided by a California Congressman were of the garden variety. Under influence of the brownies, President Bush reveled in his status as "Captain Neo" and started doing Michael Jackson moves in a drawing room.
After a few crotch grabs and a smattering of head jerks, the President, in a lurch of confidence, moonwalked at an unadvisable speed. Right into a giant phallic Jell-o sculpture.
The sculpture, which had been the painstaking work of Dick Cheney, engulfed the President's head and caused him to jiggle like a bobble-headed doll. Tony Blair spent the better part of the evening hosing down the President and periodically feeding him lots and lots of cookies. "This is getting out of control," said Blair. "If I have to hose him down or wash his car or give him a pedicure or be his personal shopper one more time, he's on his own on that Iraq thing."
9:52:06 PM 
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