 SEX, YOU CAN SAY NO (An Excerpt)
Barbara Lochner
...Years ago, and the first time I picked up a copy of MS, I saw an article on masturbation, complete with pictures. Because I used to write advertising copy for movies, I was reminded of one of the greatest unpublished copy lines of all times--for Roth's Portnoy's Complaint..."The Story of Love, between one consenting adult."
Fuuny as that line is, it is true. Masturbation is a natural form of self-love, and self-love is good. If it takes a million articles to get that simple point across and make it acceptable, then the articles are worthwhile. It's just that I personally find them a big bore, even with pictures.
The pendulum swings. Obviously in our youth, our generation was rooted in ignorance of sex and of the opposite sex, now we have the other extreme. Gynological porn on the net, adult bookstores next to the laundromat, vibrators in drugstore windows, Headliner bisexuals hinting that we are all closet cases at best. Neighbors exchanging spouses like recipes. How-to articles on masturbation. It's enough to intimidate a person.
...Consider. Back when none of us was supposed to even know about sex, much less engage in it, we almost all did--and felt terrible about it. Now we are supposed to know everything abut sex and engage in it all the time. Hardly any of us do--and we feel terrible about it. Talk about damned if you do and damned if you don't. We're such suckers for the passing mores that we can't even go to bed with any certainty that we are doing it right.
...Books, articles, seminars, support groups don't seem to be of much help either. There you are wrestling with the big picture of should you do it or not, and maybe it would be better to wait until you drop fifteen pounds--and what happens? You are confronted with blow-by-blow instructions on--guess what? Not that there's anything wrong or terrible or evil about oral sex, and no, it won't rot your teeth, but it is a trifle advanced for somebody who hasn't even decided to do it the regular way with a new man.
...Yes, the sex experts have a million things to tell us. And it's all so fascinating we can't help but sit there with our eyes rivited to an online piece or the printed page. What bothers me about these books, though--and I have read my share--is that they leave you feeling very inadequate. They start out being exciting, stimulating, and challenging, and somewhere along the line it all turns into a college entrance exam, and the person who is going to grade you is the next schnook you go to bed with. So who wants to be graded? And what does he know, anyway? You get resentful. Then, in addition, you live in mortal fear that he's going to spring something on you that you don't know about. The mortal fear is not unreasonable, not after what you've been told by the experts. The attitude is that everyone but you is doing everything. Forget it. Fortunately, men have other reasons for loving a woman, wanting to be with her. Guys are like that. And I love them for it. (To be continued)
8:21:14 AM 
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