Saturday, August 03, 2002

In memoriam - Bob Bickford (submitted on the occasion of the memorial service in Seattle) I was the younger brother of the family as I grew up - and continued to play that role till I met Bob and  found myself relating to him as a surrogate older brother. We met at the Homebrew Computer Club some time around 1980. He attended in company with another fellow who was a glib, ultra-critical Libertarian, and under whose influence Bob got into serious tax trouble. Although Bob was a follower, in my experience he never was a believer. A few years later when I mentioned to Bob that I was put off by the sneering tone of certain libertarian publications, I was surprised to find him agree when I might have expected to be sneered at. From what I can tell my experience was not unique - I see many people mention that Bob never let his humanity be masked behind ideology or any argumentative position of the moment. This is to his credit. I invited Bob to the Odd Sundays gathering at the Edinburgh Castle pub in San Francisco in the '80's, where an interesting crowd occupied the large round table, drank and talked of everything. It was there that Greta met Bob, so I feel I have a minor role in that story. He participated in the first Hacker's Conference, as a volunteer, I believe, and came to serve on the Steering Committee of the later conferences. I recall visiting with him in Corte Madera and the two of us deciding to act on the committee's decision to zero-base the invitations list, whereupon we both were blackballed from the committee. Bob was just not good at political maneuvering, preferring to be straightforward and let things fall as they may. There was a darker, hidden side to Bob, too, which should now come as no surprise. In 1991 When he worked at a startup in which I was involved the issue of the use of the product by the military was discussed in the very small office. Bob worked on silently for a while, then just got up and walked out the door. The CEO pursued him and talked him back, discovering that Bob had misgivings about the military application of the product (a wearable information-retrieval system). We all discovered then that Bob could take precipitous action to his own disadvantage based only on an undetected inner dialogue. While one could sometimes compare him to an enthusiastic puppy, one could also detect a shadow of moroseness that would creep into his disposition. Bob's exit leaves me and many others in turmoil as we try to understand what happened, and why, and to accept that we never will. And now I, who never had a younger brother, has lost one. I am sure that, were it possible, he would apologize for upsetting us. We will each have to find our way to acceptance of Bob as he was, not as we would have had him be. At that time we will be able to accept his apology, and forgive him as we would be forgiven. Until that minor resurrection, we are all left in pain and sorrow, as the bell truly tolls for us. 3 August, 2002 2:26:55 AM    comment []