The Devil's Excrement





  Venezuela
For those that just want to know about the bizarre, wonderful country of Venezuela and its even more bizarre current Government
Last updated:
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Tuesday, August 02, 2005



In the context of the problems with the highways that lead into Caracas, a friend reminds of this article in April by humorist Laureano Marquez in Tal Cual


Official Communiqué by Laureano Marquez

Today when we commemorate the nineteenth anniversary of that fateful day, the day in which the fascist scoundrels took over power for 24 hours, initiating one of the most brutal repression ever known in our history, we remember the facts as they took place, avoiding manipulations that North American imperialism has been divulging throughout the years, hurt in their pride, as it is, by the defeat our troops have inflicted upon them, first in the Battle of the Highway in 2007, when we intentionally tore down Viaduct #1 of the road to La Guaira, making the imperialist troops desist of the idea of invading us, even if, in the beginning, to gain time, our maximum strategist, with the military brilliance which is only comparable to that of Napoleon, made them believe that it had fallen down because of negligence. He even managed to fool us! A brilliant asymmetric and preventive strategy which managed to end forever the possibility of a foreign invasion., which at the same time promoted the endogenous development of the city of Caracas, achieving, on the one hand, the dispersion of the city when more than two million inhabitants decided to voluntarily move elsewhere, both to the interior of the country and abroad, and on the other, promoting food self-sufficiency, when cultivation in the balconies of apartments developed as well as in the Doña Elena Farm (formerly Parque del Este)

The gringos have also been hit hard since we decided to eliminate supplying them with oil and now they use these very ugly panels on their roofs and some ridiculous windmills that have reduced oil consumption by 80%.

Better for us, we now have abundant gasoline and thanks to our endogenous Cuban technicians, the oil feeding plan, with the empanada route of crude oil, the minestrone of Orimulsion, the cachapa of asphalt and many other delicacies of national food made with derivates from crude oil, which is rich in nutrients, calcium, phosphorus, niacin and three rich vitamins.

Thanks for everything Fidel. We take this opportunity to congratulate you our on your 97th. Birthday.


Coming back to April 2002. As the truth commission determined, which- at last- was named by the National Assembly, after the parliamentary elections of 2005, when the opposition lost all of its representation, the facts took place as we narrate in the following:


About 10 in the morning on April 11th., a demonstration backing the Chief if State met at Tarek William Saab square, in Chuao, with the objective of marching towards Miraflores.


More than a million people (a number never seen in our history, as later revealed by aerial photography in 2006) marched through the highway. It was all done to confound the opposition, it was an enveloping strategy.

The demonstrators decided to disguise themselves as opposition forces and even use their slogans, avoiding in that way the numerous infiltrators from the CIA, such as one John Smith, a gringo from Ohio-as we later learned- who made people call him Carlos Ortega and a Spaniard with white hair that Aznar himself infiltrated whose name was Carlos Fernández Carmona, as revealed years later by the Prosecutor, who was actually one of us. It was none other than the Vice-President with the clear eyes, infiltrated by us to disarticulate the conspiracy. This explanation clarifies the doubts about where the Vice-President was those three days.

Unfortunately, as we learned in 2009, in a new speech by the Prosecutor, a group from the opposition had penetrated official lines since way back, turning officials and councilmen. Taking strategic advantage of this, they placed themselves in Puente LLaguno and shot at random against our people. They managed to fool us for the first few years. Well, they thought they did, because out intelligence bodies knew the truth, they just wanted to gain time to see how they could arrest them.

There were new revelations in 2013. A General with three suns, who for many years made believe that he supported the President, was in reality the true clandestine leader of the opposition, he pressured the President in order to ask for his resignation, while his double allowed himself to be taken prisoner to confound the opposition even more and gain time. While this was happening, Carmona, in a movie set made to look like the Miraflores Palace, was faking that he had everything under control, placing next to him a bunch of actors dressed like military All of us, to gain time and manage to get the “people” , which supported the President 100%, take to the streets, which eventually happened.

More than four million people, did I say four? Ten or more for sure, surrounded the Miraflores Palace. The President, machine gun in hand, fought war planes sent by President Bush, low noise airplanes that nobody felt flying at that time, as we later learned thanks to the speech by the Prosecutor in 2015. The President personally shot three of them down, thanks God they fell into the Guaire River and the currents dragged them, because otherwise there could have caused a terrible tragedy.

That also explains why nobody saw them then.

This is the truth of the facts, although we do not rule out that next year, in a new anniversary of this date, our lifetime speaker reveals more data, because as he himself has pointed out: the investigation remains open, in order to gain time.


9:52:59 PM    comment []



Yesterday I used the word disbelief to describe what I felt when I heard Chavez and Diosdado Cabello talk. I really don't know which word to use today to describe what I felt when I heard the statement by the Minister of Justice and the Interior Jesse Chacon say when swearing in the new Directors of the Investigative police (CICPC) and I quote:

"To those that have the responsibility, which is not easy what they are facing, but I am sure we are going to meet the challenge...you have two options, either you win and we transform the CICPC or after this management we eliminate the CICPC"

Anyone get the solution? If these guys are not successful in running the investigative police, we will eliminate it. And then what? Is this from a management book? Or he plans to give the job to the Cuban police? This is simply ignorance. Institutions such as the CICPC work everywhere in the world under competent and knowledgeable management. If it does not work, the problem is not solved by getting rid of the institution. This is stupid; it is like the old joke of the guy who sold the sofa, because his wife was cheating on him with another man using the living room sofa. But this reflects the same tragedy of the Chavez revolution I mentioned yesterday, Chacon is another unconditional, mediocre, former military that Chavez likes to have around. With incompetent people like him, nothing will ever get done.

Oh! By the way, this is the same guy in charge of the infamous maintenance and disaster prevention committee that Chavez named. Maybe they should eliminate that too!


7:44:06 PM    comment []



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