The Devil's Excrement





  Venezuela
For those that just want to know about the bizarre, wonderful country of Venezuela and its even more bizarre current Government
Last updated:
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Friday, November 21, 2008



As I begin to hear thunder again after a relatively dry day, I can't help but wonder about the bizarre events in Venezuela yesterday, which make you wonder about the parody that this Government has become.

We all poured over the newspaper yesterday morning as El Nacional had an intriguing headline on its front page, which seemed to come out of that Marquezian magic realism that Chavismo seems to be living in these days. The headline said:

"Traffic jams are a lie" says Minister Rondon

Directing you to page C-3 of the paper. Certainly worth checking out given that Mr. Rondon is none other than the Minister of Infrastructure. Recall that my office moved 840 meters recently, which saves me an hour a day, so I definitely had to check out the ministers words, which seemed to be a mysterious prelude to the day's tragic events.

The article relates that candidates for Mayor and users all agree that a unique authority to preside over the chaos and tangles of the city's traffic, to which the Minister said in his most pompous style:

"Venezuela does not govern itself. The President only thinks about the well being of the Venezuelans. If he considers that this topic should be analyzed, we will study it"

This statement demonstrates that despite the headline, Minister Rondon is certainly well versed in the peculiar form of democracy that Chavismo believes in: Even if everyone agrees on something or that something has to be done, it is up to I, the Supreme, who deeply cares about us, to decide whether the topic even deserves consideration, at which point HE will then decide to study it.

Such depths of Chavista democratic wisdom even in such a short sentence!

Unfortunately, the remainder is somewhat disappointing, as it simply demonstrates that Minister Rondon's abilities do not extend themselves to either his job or logic, to wit:

"That stuff about Caracas having traffic jams is a lie. I have been monitoring other countries and it is the same. We have the best possible roads; the problem is the excess of vehicles. People have to leave their car in storage, leave individualism aside. Five people can go in vehicle, instead of the selfishness that it is used by a single person"

Where should I begin? From a logical point of view these are a bunch of concatenated statements that have little to do with each other. Traffic jams are there or not, but they are not lies. Then he says he has monitored them, but in other countries is the same? What is the same? The traffic jams or the lies? What countries? Then he says we have the best possible roads. For what? Not a single major road has been built in Caracas in twenty years. Despite this, does he claim they are the best? Does he drive around? Finally, he first says we have to leave the cars in storage but then he wants us to share them. Aren't the two incompatible? Did this guy graduate from high school, or is it a verbal problem?

But then, it has been Chavez who has kept gas prices cheap, subsidized cars at the official rate of exchange and otherwise has done nothing for improving traffic, including going to Court to ban measures made by Mayors. So who is to blame for the current state of affairs? Precisely the man that supposedly only has our well-being in mind.

But there has to be some form of divine or poetic justice when on the same day, Caracas has the biggest lies, pardon me, traffic jams in memory due to rains and flooding. The rodas simply did not have traffic jams, they became parking lots last night.

Much as in the days prior to the Vargas tragedy of 1999, which coincided with the vote to approve the new Constitution, Caracas has been having rather unusual weather. It has been raining daily and continuously most afternoons and early evenings for the last two weeks. This saturates the soil and causes landslides and floods, as the ground simply cannot absorb water. And yesterday the rains turned into a downpour and the city collapsed, as there were landslides and fallen trees everywhere and even roads collapsed.

The traffic jam in the south part of Caracas became a total tie up as the Autopista del Este and that of Prado del Este became parking lots. People got off buses and walked in the rain in the hope to get home or simply called the nearest friend to stay the night.

But as the city was already collapsing and municipal authorities were warning people to stay home, here came Hugo Chavez with one of his infamous "cadenas", obligatory nationwide addresses. Everyone was expecting the man who cares so much about our well being to talk about the rains, but instead we watched as he condecorared a South Vietnamese official, inaugurated a non-existent factory and talked about (ranted?) Ho Chi Min and all he stood for.

But in the dryness of the Miraflores Palace stood the whole Cabinet, lead by a nodding Minister of Finance who celebrated each sentence. While I seldom watch Chavez tirades anymore, I did because I was transmitting information to friends who had no access to TV's and were trying to decide when and if to go home. (Most got home well after midnight and one stayed at the office all night)

As Chavez seemed to be gaining speed and force, something happened, he must have been given a signal and all of a sudden he said the Government will deal with the problem of the rain and wrapped it all up and was done in a minute and we went back to regular programming.

While the yuppie Mayors and candidates of the opposition appeared on TV getting muddy and wet and dealing with the problems, Chavista authorities for the Metropolitan area were nowhere to be seen in the Government's TV station or Globovision. In fact, we did not see Barreto (who is in Paris enjoying his last days as Mayor of Caracas) or Bernal or Diosdado at all last night. The lone figure was the head of Civil Defense, who should not be partisan, who kept talking about the floods as a "fortuitous" phenomenon as if we did not have to deal with them every year.

Very late, two Chavista candidates appear on the studios of VTV worried about what is going on as more than 50 homes are covered in mud and nine people lose their lives.

Today, as the thunder turns to rain again, we do see those that should have been out there last night. But wait! There is one missing. The man who cares so much for our well-being has not been seen today. He has not visited any of the many sites where tragedy struck last night, He has not been on TV, radio or even said a line like he is monitoring the situation.

Maybe, just maybe, since he cares so much for our well being he has spent the day going over the latest polls to guarantee that his collaborators will be allowed to protect and care for us for the next four years.

But better yet, I hope that after seeing the projections, he is just depressed...


11:06:46 PM    comment []



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