Response to a reader complaint
Sept 17th - The Overpowered Gebirgslair
Recently the Overpowered Customer Service Department let me know about a common complaint from our viewers. It seems that some of you don't like the font used in the stories posted here on Overpowered. That some of you so called 'readers' have to squint to read the stories due to the size of the font.
To me, this means one of two things. You're old, and can't see very well. Or, you're poor, and can't afford a decent monitor. Either way, we here at Overpowered don't care. Now I imagine that some of you won't be all that thrilled with this explanation. So let me expand upon this.
The Marketing and Propaganda department here at Overpowered is continually involved in extensive market research. Animal testing, 'Trading Places' style hijinks, and other ingenious marketing techniques. And all of our market research points to two inescapable facts: Old people are icky and poor people don't matter.
That old people are icky should come as no surprise to anyone. They just are. They're all wrinkly and they eat at Bill Knapps and they drive Grand Marquis and they watch "Diagnosis Murder". We don't want any part of that.
On to the poor. We here at Overpowered like to think that we're one of life's finer things. Like snorting a line of coke off the full grain walnut dash board of one of the company Aston Martins. But in order to convince you, the reader, that Overpowered really has that certain cache, we need to exclude people. Excluding people just exudes class. And poor people are the obvious choice. Because they don't have any money. I mean, come on, if you can't afford a 19" monitor, how the hell are you going to keep me flush with angel dust and Ferraris?
Now, the Overpowered editorial staff doesn't hate all poor people. Actually, we don't hate any poor people. We just don't want to be like them. In fact, some of our favorite hot chicks are poor hot chicks. But poor hot chicks have an advantage over the rest of you shlubs, they don't have to be poor. Unlike you people, they always have the option of pulling an Anna Nicole. All they have to do to enter the Overpowered demographic is to drop a pencil in front of some Dick Cheney look a like while he's on the way to his cardiologist, and bang, they jump 17 tax brackets. So if you're poor, but hot, Overpowered would like to specifically include you in the Overpowered club. We respect your future earnings potential. Perhaps we'll start a "Poor but Hot" gallery just to give these girls the attention they crave, and access to our rich and morally compromised readers, thus helping to expand the Overpowered demographic and helping our nation's troubled economy. So send in those pics if you want to be in the club. If you're hot.
But if you're old or poor (but not hot), we've got nothing for you here. Go to some other site that uses a bigger font.
6:57:01 PM 
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