You aren't just going down to the 7-11 for a six-pack of Mountain Dew, you're embarking on a grand adventure! Somewhere under "Driving Tips," there's a squib about, "Your BMW has high-performance characteristics, but it is better not to engage them. Cultivate a 'you first' attitude." Apparently, most owners never get to that part, they're just so damn eager to get behind the wheel and engage in those high-end antics. But back when The Raven used to drive a beamer, we studied that manual, and we learned.

Today, the Ravenmobile is an MRII Spyder - an "open roadster," and even though all that nifty performance is available to the driver, I wouldn't use it. I've sincerely adopted that "you first" mentality, and if you meet me on the road, I'll be the one to allow you ahead with a cheery wave of the hand and a tip of the hat. "Safe motoring to you, fellow driver. Godspeed."

Well, to be honest, I usually adopt a gentle and kind vehicular mien but I do make exceptions when another driver has committed a Crime of the Road. In such cases, well, seeing as I do have all that potential performance available, I consider it my public duty and civic obligation to teach the miscreant a "lesson." I don't do this frequently, nor without good cause. Only a severe breach of roadway etiquette earns an impromptu comeuppance from the Blackbird, such as:

One of your tail lights is out

I didn't like the way you changed lanes

You came up behind me too fast

Your bumper sticker is in poor taste

I suspect you think you're "all that"

You made me apply the brakes

Tailgating (me or anybody else)

Talking on your cell phone

Over-exuberance on your part

Talking to anyone else in your vehicle

Arm dangling outside the window

Obstructing my view of the road

Happy motoring!
7:21:38 AM