Handy Hint
The next time you're working out in the shop and you accidently cut off your hand with your circular saw (doncha hate it when that happens?), do what Sean McHugh of Allentown, PA did last Saturday—stick it in the freezer and then drive yourself to the hospital. According to the report, "police were dispatched to his home with a bag of ice to retrieve the hand." Be sure to use those Ziploc freezer bags, so as to avoid the embarrassment of having the EMTs show up with a tin-foil wrapped lambchop.
Americans Still as Dumb as They Ever Was
According to a recent survey of Americans, when it comes to our Constitution, "most of them admit they don't know much about what's in it." And that goes for our Supreme Court justices, Presidents, the whole bag of bananas.
- A strong majority agrees with its bedrock principle—that the country should follow the will of the majority while protecting the rights of minorities.
Doesn't the document frame out a system whereby the majority are prevented from inflicting tyranny upon the minority? That was the whole point. Maybe we need citizenship classes for citizens.
- Nearly nine out of 10, 87 percent, said they agreed with its underlying values.
So there's a 13-percent chance you're going to run into some clown who "just doesn't buy it" and operates under his own set of guidelines. This is rather worrisome. It's almost as troubling as the thought that people are out there acting like the Constitution is up for popular ratification.
- 65 percent say the rich and powerful have more rights than others;
- 66 percent said the United States should help other countries replicate the Constitution only if they ask.
- 41 percent say the right to privacy is threatened, and another 24 percent believe the right already is lost.
- 57 percent see banks and credit card companies as the biggest threats to privacy, while 29 percent see the federal government as the biggest threat.
- Freedom of the press is the least popular right guaranteed by the Constitution, with 43 percent saying the Founding Fathers went too far.
- The right to keep and bear arms is the most divisive, with 32 percent saying the Founding Fathers went too far and 26 percent saying the right has been too restricted.
In other words, the government is perceived to be a threat to our rights, as are those who have guns and those who don't, with the biggest threat being the free press. Republican government was designed specifically with an eye to keeping serious matters of legislation and jurisprudence from being subject to the popular sentiment, and this survey makes it clear that the rationale is still sound.
So Take It Off
The FTC just conducted a study and found that most weight-loss ads are either "false or misleading."
- "There are no fast and easy fixes," Surgeon General Richard Carmona wrote in a preface to the study. "The public must adopt a healthy skepticism about advertising that promises miracles and scientific breakthroughs."
From watching television infomercials, you gather that the average American is eager to buy a device or a diet that melts away the pounds without effort and can be used while snacking in front of the TV. F'rinstance, Enforma Natural Products is in big trouble for their promotion of "Fat Trapper" and "Exercise In A Bottle":
- The company claimed the system could block fat from being absorbed and increase the body's capacity to burn it off.
Why, if the products prevent fat from being absorbed by the body, then you could theoretically eat all of the rich, unhealthy, fat-laden foods you wanted and still lose weight. That's what people want.
- One product made from the ground-up shells of shrimps, crabs and lobsters was promoted with statements like "Have you ever seen an overweight fish? Or an oyster with a few pounds too many?"
"Why, no. Come to think of it, I never have seen a fat fish. I guess that means that there's some miracle chemical inside fish that keeps them from getting fat." You gotta love this logic.
3:07:17 PM 
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Tuesday, September 17, 2002
