The Raven

Tuesday, October 29, 2002

Unfinished Business

We're happy to report that the uninvited opossum has apparently moved on in search of other homeowners to terrorize. The trick was, per the possum society's recommendations, to scatter a Hansel and Gretel trail of cat chow from his likely hiding spot out into the yard. Friends and neighbors I queried, on the other hand, were unanimously in favor of "blasting the varmint," and I'm glad it didn't come to that.

Counterscripting

As I'd mentioned a few days ago, there is an excellent counterscript available that you can employ to turn the tables on a telemarketer. Sure, I know you're thinking to yourself that it's better to just hang up on 'em, and in most cases that's the best thing to do. But if you're feeling a bit rambunctious give it a try. We did yesterday:

Raven: Hello?

T-marketer: Hello, Mr. Sos... Sonos...

Raven: To whom am I speaking?

T-marketer: My name is Mike Griffiths, I'm calling from the Sherrif's...

Raven: Could you please spell that for me?

T-marketer: Spell it?!

Raven: Please.

T-marketer: Um... [spells name]

Raven: And how did you find this number?

T-marketer: Umm, I didn't really find it.

Raven: I see. Mike, is this your full time job?

T-marketer: (laughing slightly, uncomfortable) No... no, I have another job. What about your j...

Raven: (interrupting) What exactly do you do?

T-marketer: What do I do? (laughs) I'm supposed to be asking you the questions!

Raven: Don't you like talking to me?

T-marketer: (laughing heartily) OK, if you're not interested that's fine. Have a good evening. [hangs up]

This was the first trial using Martijn's script, but I'd say it worked perfectly. The telemarketer was placed completely off-kilter and off-script, but not through aggression or hostility. Rather, he'd never been pre-empted like this before and clearly he didn't like it. But the laughter and good feelings at the end of the call left us both with a good feeling: something original and unexpected happened here. This was a genuine life experience; both of us transcended the "marketer/target" relationship and went someplace different and interesting.

Think about the various "scripts" that you fall into every day. The convenience store clerk, the gas station attendant, the grocery store cashier, the person who pulls your espresso. Chances are you've already established some kind of familiar relationship with those who see you as a "regular," but what about the one-offs? It's with the people you're not likely to see again that this kind of transcendence is especially important. When we do the unexpected, the roles collapse and everybody suddenly has to be real. That's how you want to move through life.

Welcome Back

We're so glad to see the return of Arts & Letters Daily, your one-stop shop for literature, criticism, and philosophy. Yeah, Blogcritics is good, too. But I can never find good feeds there and ultimately, you shop where you find what you're looking for. So A&LD returns to our navlist and it's good to have you guys back.

6:38:40 PM

Do We Get a Second Choice?

The Chicago Trib has a story on "Grand Theft Auto 3" and the upcoming "Vice" edition that doesn't say much more than the other articles that have been running everywhere on the theme of "sex in videogames." But there's an interesting quote from veteran player 16-year-old Armando Bulnes Jr. that's worth looking at:

"It's not that bad. These parents need to grow up and realize we're moving on in time and everything is bound to get a little more offensive and raunchy. They have to understand that's the way it is."

He may be right. Our other morning picks lean in that direction.

The Little Angel

Over at The Pompano Beach Elementary School in Florida, a 9-year-old boy was arrested and charged with battery "after assaulting his teachers for the second time in a month."

The student got up from his seat, struck another student, turned desks over and threw objects...The student then began shouting at the teacher, who tried to restrain him. Another teacher came in to help, and he struck them both. Johnson, who is also the school's resource officer, asked the child to calm down but he refused and started cursing, yelling and screaming.

Later, at the police station: "The father said his son's hands were cuffed together and his feet were cuffed to a bench, bruising him." That's what a high-sugar breakfast cereal can do.

Menage e VCR

The Guardian this morning has a fun in-depth look at the expanding number of people who are videotaping themselves cavorting in the sack. Or elsewhere. Great stuff here, including a look at something called "Gonzo porn," and also this quote from an interviewee named Molly, who took the plunge with her beau:

"The feeling of being watched was the turn-on, but being able to see the TV screen out of the corner of my eye and knowing the writhing figures on it were us was a bonus. The sex was great - though I was glad I'd been going to the gym—and we did it on the floor, on the chair, on the table, me on top, from behind, and so on. Nothing too extreme, but on the other hand you don't want to waste the opportunity by sticking to the missionary position. You might as well record a sewing machine for 20 minutes!"

Nothing too extreme, though. One wonders what Molly gets up to when she throws caution to the wind.

9:21:09 AM