Being an observant-type, I've noticed that university students fall into several categories usually associated with their respective majors. Take the Accounting people, f'rinstance. They run toward the rigid end of the spectrum. The Business dudes come in two flavors—seriously focused and self-deluded. The students in Psychology and Philosophy tend to be My Kind of People: genuine and idiosyncratic along with a few crazies I hope will be nabbed by the system before they do any real damage.

Pride of place, though, goes to the Education Majors. Here's how to spot 'em:

Grouping behavior: They cluster in herds of 5 to 8.
Social characteristics: They wander around laughing and yakking and littering the campus with a trail of coffee cups and twinkie wrappers.
Motivation: An overriding and mistaken belief that they are brighter than pre-adolescent children.
Classroom mannerisms: These are the whiners. "How many pages is a 'three-page report'? Do they have to be filled up with writing?"
Linguistic traits: Their speech is coded for easy an' quick recognition. At the end of a four-year program of study, the Ed Major can produce astonishingly meaningless statements like, "The facilitator structures the learning environment to meet the needs of a diverse population of learners."

Within the Education Department, you notice that there's a sort of wink-wink, nudge-nudge atmosphere permeating the hallways, as if everyone's amazed that it could really be this easy: "Shh, don't let anyone find out!" I think we need some reform here. First of all, scrap the education major and require teachers to graduate from standard and rigorous fields of study. Toss out all of the classes on "diverse learners" and "special needs" and whatnot, as these are just vocabulary-building exercises. Instead, offer internship and mentoring programs that allow old-hands to pass their insights onward.

Think back on academic subjects that have been of value to you. What did you ever learn of lasting importance that wasn't acquired through brute, rote, painful repetition and suffering? The things we know that we're proud of were difficult to learn and took more effort than bending down to snatch a penny off the sidewalk. It's time to go back to drill-and-practice, stand-and-recite, read-and-repeat. Yes, I'm being very hard on these people, but look, if we don't expect much of them, then that's what we'll get. And the ultimate result is our next story...

Read Enjoys Cable Service

That's the title of a Letter to the Editor in my paper this morning. Let's take a look:

I would like to give kudoes to Graceba Cable Television and its community service channels 6 and 110 for providing a viewing outlet that makes my day complete.

Being mostly homebound and one who has been active in the community, this service provides me with the opportunity to be a late starter in the morning, get today's weather report, up-to-the-minute news on the cable news networks and maybe enjoy an old movie.

Through the aid of the valuable VCR, I can record at least 12 weekly church services of various churches in the area and city commission and town hall meetings of the various area communities.

Playing these tapes can fill my day. There are times when technical difficulties occur (mine, theirs, and/or those providing the tapes), but this is a problem with anything technical.

Regular television is producing nothing but trash and Soaps. Now vulgar sitcoms are replacing shows like Matlock and Perry Mason during the day and in the evening mostly shows with sex and violence are available. Thank goodness for the sport channels that can provide an outlet.

9:30:08 AM