A tough scan this morning as the datastream quiets to a whisper. That usually means a riot of craziness is on the way. And I don't know if that's a good thing or not.

The Bad Guys

That would be Microsoft, hell-bent on making the world a more miserable place in which to live. Here's a snappy headline from ABC: Microsoft to the Rescue.

Glad they showed up in time. But wait...it's not us they're "rescuing," it's the hardware industry:

Microsoft will officially end technical support for Windows 98 and Windows NT 4 on June 30. The financial implications for Microsoft and others could be significant, even in the short term.

Return of the Master

Ask one of those older folks feeding the slot machines in Vegas, "Who's the King?" They'll probably say "Elvis." Ask a guerilla journalist the same thing and he'll say "St. Hunter" every time.

Looks like the good doctor is back, according to this review of Hunter S. Thompson's Kingdom of Fear in today's NYT. Like most of his work lately, it's largely a re-compilation of stuff you've already read, with a few gems tossed into a "haphazard journalistic yard sale":

In Kingdom of Fear he writes, "We have Anthrax, we have smallpox, we have very real fears of being blasted into jelly in the privacy of our own homes by bombs from an unseen enemy, or by nerve gas sprayed into our drinking water, or even ripped apart with no warning by our neighbor's Rottweiler dogs."

Where'd That Come From?

I'm sure that's what astronomers around the world are asking themselves now that Matthew (Black) Holman and JJ (Bulletproof) Kavelaars stumbled across a trio of "previously unknown moons of Neptune."

You'd think the big bright lines that circle these things would've tipped 'em off, but they figured it couldn't be that easy. I know what you're thinking: These clowns are paid big bucks to find life on other planets, distant galaxies, the origins of the cosmos itself, and they didn't even know how many moons Neptune has? This makes the whole gang of 'em look bad, and they've got some explaining to do. Here's the official excuse:

The new satellites were a challenge to detect because they are only about 30-40 kilometers (18-24 miles) in size.

Keepin' It Real

Reality is in short supply these days. We can't trust the media any more than the astronomers, as you can see from this story about Monday's American Music Awards. According to MSNBC, when the band Alabama came out to get their "Award of Merit" (read: "thank-you for retiring"), the giant screen at the back of the stage lit up with George Bush senior's face and the crowd started booing vehemently.

Now, I didn't watch the ABC broadcast, and if you had good sense you didn't either, but if we had seen it, we wouldn't have heard the ugly sounds of a displeased audience.

The boos from the crowd, however, were not audible in the broadcast, leading some to believe that they were deleted by censors. "I don't know and I can't tell you," said a spokesman for the production company, who referred questions back to ABC.

I'm Sorry Now

For what? For ragging on Britney Spears and J-Lo so much. The Raven has accused those pop divas of destroying a generation and making a sad mockery of the word "music." We've asked for something better to come along.

They sent this: America's new idol, Avril Lavigne. So I'm watching this online interview with her, and figure maybe I'll check out the buzz and see if the Sk8er Grrl has any talent. She says in the interview that, "I feel like I'm getting more famouser every day!" And the word is that she isn't pop, she plays the guitar, and she writes her own music. Don't you believe it, these are all lies. But if she is your kind of thing, you could join TeamAVRIL:

We'd like you to visit newsgroups, message boards, chat-rooms and any other on-line communities to help spread the word about AVRIL. We will guide you through the entire process and let you know where to go to make the buzz happen We will supply you with the latest AVRIL content, cool banners and photos to place on your site, and even your own TeamAVRIL.com email account to send emails about AVRIL to other online tastemakers, like you.

Dishwasher Safe?

That's what I'm wondering about the tableware used by Raw Catering.

As you can see at this dinner party, the company uses naked women as plates. This isn't a new concept by any means. Isaak Hayes got into it back when he was on the charts, and the Japanese have been into this fetish since way back. But stuff always comes around again, and chef Chris Leahy and business partner Andrew Hagene noticed a niche here.

"We were talking about how it would be to make the food and serve it on a naked woman, and a woman overheard me and said, 'That's the coolest thing I've ever heard,'" Leahy recalled with a laugh. "She was our first model."

2:43:16 PM