That's what Eric Burdon said, and I always wondered what he meant by that in It's My Life. Now, I'm starting to get an idea. And I don't like the way it's shaping up.

Cachechism

It was only a matter of time.

You know how the Italians do things, right? In cuisine, architecture, and design, they're pretty hard to beat. But when it comes to technology and politics, well...You can imagine what their online world is like. So the Italian Roman Catholic hierarchy is currently searching for a "patron saint of the Internet." Shown at right are the front-runners: Saint Isadore of Seville, left, Saint Clare of Assisi and Archangel Gabriel.

Me, I'd go for Isadore, who wrote the first encyclopedia. But Gabriel brought Mary the Good News, and Clare saw "visions on a wall," so they've got a shot.

"We like to have somebody we might pray to," said Penelope Fletcher, deputy director of the Pope John Paul II Cultural Center in Washington D.C. "There are people who want to have a saint for everything."

Gee Whiz

Since the higher powers are known to move slowly, it's usually a good idea to get a jump on 'em. We're doing our part by building a Federal Internet monitoring center.

The center, which has been in development for the past 15 months, is a key piece of the White House's national cybersecurity strategy and represents a major leap in the federal government's effort to achieve real-time tracking of the Internet's health.

With Clarke's help, the NCS secured $5 million in 2002 for the GEWIS program.

Looking In from the Outside

Ever wonder what foreign countries tell U.S.-bound tourists? We think we're all smart and everything, getting our State Department "briefings" before we head to Morocco or wherever. This article gives you a rundown on what they hear about us. F'rinstance, this is the Canadian skippy:

Crime is high in many U.S. cities but is generally concentrated in areas that travelers are unlikely to visit. However, travelers should remain alert to their surroundings as street crime can spill over into commercial, hotel and entertainment areas. Racial tensions and poverty can occasionally prompt riots.

Looking Out from the Inside

Always curious, I asked myself, "So what are people looking for online?" To be honest, this was a vile attempt to ferret out Objects of Interest upon which I might blog. My idea was that if I were to select a super-topic, maybe I'd "hit it big," as it were. You see how we think. Well, first stop was AskJeeves, since they let you peek on user queries. Here's a sample, with our answers:

You asked about "Pluto", did you mean the planet?

Where can I learn to give someone The Finger?

Where can I read about the serial killer(s) Jack The Ripper?

How do I say a word in German?

We Don't Want This

Over at the UK Guardian today there's a new article about Weblogs. Yes, it mentions the Instapundit, and Sullivan, and I was just about to bail on it when I ran into this:

"Some folks are hostile," says Henry Copeland, the man behind Blogads. However, some bloggers are excited by his planned ad network for blogs (currently being tested).

"Blogads allow advertisers to tap into the passionate audiences," Copeland says. "Blogs are where opinions get made these days, and advertisers need to position themselves accordingly. Advertisers can create flexible ads (text and/or image), target very select audiences and even solicit comments about their ads."

7:57:51 PM       

Don't you wish that reality came with something like the focus adjustment on a camera lens? Because it's pretty clear that some of us are moving though life with a crisp, sharp vision whilst others are stumbling around a blurred fun-house hall of mirrors.

One guy who couldn't focus was Richard "Freaky Eyes" Reid, shoe-bomber extraordinaire, sentenced yesterday to life in prison. From courtroom reports, it sounds like it was quite a scene as the judge laid down the verdict: "See this flag, Mr. Reid," said Judge William Young, "That's the flag of the United States of America. That flag will fly here long after you're forgotten." Reid went bananas.

"Your flag will come down and so will your country!" he cried out as the officers wrestled him out of a Boston courtroom. "You will be judged by Allah!"

Zansky said she contacted Bethlehem police after she became suspicious about the effectiveness of the wands.

"We're investigating," police Lt. Robert Righi said. "Possibly it is some violation of consumer fraud."

And Jingo Was His Name-O

While enjoying my morning coffee, I noticed this headline: "Rep. Everett Introduces Terrorist Elimination Act."

What could this be? I wondered. Turns out that Congressman Terry Everett, R-Alabama, has introduced bill HR 356, which if passed would "lift the Federal government's ban on assassination of terrorist leaders who pose a direct threat to our national security." Here's his justification:

Unfortunately, our military and intelligence community is handicapped from being able to target these terrorists through smaller, more focused operations. Our Government's hands are tied due to a series of decades old executive orders banning assassination of foreigners.

Whistle While You Work

Over at the I.N.S. data processing center in Laguna Niguel, Calif., manager Dawn Randall has been indicted for employing an unusual method of dealing with the backlog of paperwork piling up at her office.

Last January, she asked for a count of unprocessed papers in the filing center, and was told that some 90,000 documents were waiting to be handled. Dawn focused on this problem like a champ: "In February, the government says, she ordered at least five night-shift workers to begin shredding many boxes of papers." This turned out to be a highly efficient way of dealing with the problem.

By the end of March, the backlog had been cut to zero, and Ms. Randall ordered her subordinates to continue destroying incoming paper to keep current, the government says.

The Trouble with Rubles

Over in Russia, they've learned that the best hedge against inflation is foreign currency. You could take it as a kind of vote of confidence in our country that they've always hoarded U.S. dollars. Not any more. Now they're stockpiling euros instead.

On one level, the rise of the euro is undeniably a major change. Russians are believed to have hoarded as much as $50 billion in American dollars in coffee cans and under mattresses, the largest such stash of any nation on earth. Since well before the Soviet Union died off, the dollar has been regarded as a guarantee of stability—the instrument of choice for one's life savings.

Game Boy

You want elected leaders to focus on the issues, because that's their job. Trond Helleland, a Norwegian member of parliament, apparently lost sight of the ball for a few minutes Wednesday during session. Television cameras covering the proceedings zoomed in on him and caught him "playing a war game on his pocket computer." Oops.

"I realize it was very stupid of me. I will not do it again," he told Reuters. "I had obviously turned off the sound."

11:32:48 AM