That's our theme this morning, although Louis XV's "Apres moi le deluge" also seems appropriate. Total information overload hit about halfway through the daily scan, there was no way to keep up—and then the guy who sucks these pages down for me was screaming, "Stop it, man—are you insane? We don't have enough space, we're outta time and the Laws of Physics say "Road Closed!" Well when it gets like that, we hang five and aim for that little postage-stamp sized circle of light at the end of the pipeline.

Mugabe's Law

You have to love Zimbabwe's President Robert Mugabe. The man is the poster child for what is wrong with an entire continent. So I had to pause when I saw this: Mugabe signs land deal with Chinese to tackle food crisis.

Turns out his seize-and-plunder farming policy hasn't worked out at all. While he did succeed in running the white landowners out of his country, the people he gave the property to aren't farming with it, mainly because they don't have any tools. So he's inked a deal with the Chinese to have them "grow food crops on more than 100,000 hectares" to stem off widespread famine. Here's a Zimbabwe government official speaking off the record:

"I think what it proves is that our system of chasing farm owners and confiscating their land has not worked. We are now stuck with a huge amount of derelict land, which could have been under good use if the politicians had taken our advice to implement a phased and systematic land reform exercise."

Double-Check

Are you ready for the next terrorist attack? The Federal Emergency Management Agency wants you to assemble a basic home-defense kit, just in case. I owe a debt of gratitude to the London Times for bringing this to our attention.

Fortunately, as it turns out, you don't need to get that much stuff together. A few minutes of foresight will have you ready for whatever the bad guys can dish out—whether biological, chemical or nuclear. Here's the minimum list of what you'll need to ensure your family's survival in the Year 0:

A windowless room, ideally in a basement, dedicated as a family hideout.

Duct tape, plastic sheeting, and scissors for masking doors, windows, and vents.

Battery-powered radio.

Water (figure 1 gal/day per person).

Canned food supplies, dehydrated foods and fruit, can opener.

First-aid kit: safety pins, cleansing agents, antibiotic cream, latex gloves petroleum jelly, 2in and 4in sterile gauze pads triangular bandages, 2in and 3in sterile roller bandages, cotton balls, scissors, tweezers, needle, moist towelettes, antiseptic, thermometer, tongue depressor blades, sunscreen and back-up supplies of any required prescription drugs.

A whistle.

Fire extinguisher.

Compass.

Work gloves.

Paper, pens, pencils.

Needles and thread.

An alarm clock.

Paper cups and plates, plastic cutlery.

A knife.

Bleach, sugar, salt, pepper, aluminium foil and plastic wrap.

Resealable plastic bags.

Cooking stove and fuel.

Towels, soap, hand-cleaner.

Detergent, toothpaste, toothbrush.

Shampoo, deodorant.

Comb, brush, razor and shaving cream.

Lip balm.

Insect repellent.

Contact lens solution and mirror.

Trash bags, toilet paper, a plastic bucket and shovel.

Extra sets of keys.

Bedding and clothing (to be removed and discarded if you are contaminated).

A sealed, watertight box with copies or originals of passports, birth certificates and wills.

Her Name is Rio

Actually it's Rie Rasmussen, the Danish model who played Rebecca Romijn's love-interest in Femme Fatale.

Rie's in the news this morning after scandalizing a party at New York's Blue Smoke on Monday. According to reports, her crossover antics in the movie were only a mild indication of her personal pecadilloes, as evidenced by her "stealing kisses from fellow models and flirting with every attractive girl in the room." Put this vixen into a society party and you'll need a fire extinguisher to quench the flames of her unbridled bisexuality.

Randy Rasmussen's antics were the talk of the bash, where one sexy stylist whom Rasmussen tried to seduce on a shoot declared, "She likes women more than most men do. But she's not sleazy about it."

Not Too Bright

That's our take on Richard John Adams, a southwest Missouri man who's requesting in court that he be represented by Jesus Christ as his attorney, since all other lawyers are "devils."

Adams's problems all started back in March 24 of last year, Adams got a ticket for "speeding and failing to wear a seat belt." Most people would have paid the fine and moved along. Adams, a former militia member and Christian Identity wacko, decided to pressure the judge instead.

One count alleges Adams harassed Jacobs during a July 3 hearing by filing a letter in a court file saying he would sue the judge because he was incompetent.

The judge says, by the way, that it's acceptable for Adams to have Jesus Christ as counsel, but only recognized members of the bar will allowed to speak in the courtroom.

More Raven later today.

10:10:06 AM