We're thinking of Satchel Paige, who said, "Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you. That's our take on this selection of stories that collectively suggest you focus on the horizon. And run faster.

The Doomsday Effect

We weren't too thrilled to see this article in today's S.F. Chronicle: Salon warns it may not survive beyond February.

The Salon Media Group filed a "grim financial picture" with the Securities and Exchange Commission today that indicates the doomsayers may finally have the last laugh. For us here at Salonblogs, it's unclear what might happen in the event of a meltdown. While Salon itself is in arrears on rent for its San Francisco headquarters, we all live in a yellow hard drive that doesn't take much work to maintain, and we pay our way, assumedly. That said, the Raven never puts blind trust in an uncertain outcome, so a bit of forward planning is called for. I'm hoping that our resident Weblog guru, Xian at Radio Free Blogistan will come up with a Doomsday scenario, an action plan on What to Do if Salonblogs Goes Down. If he has any suggestions, I'll pass them along here in addition to whatever information he provides at his site.

While you might feel very comfortable in the Weblogging environment and have no particular worries on this issue, the matter that concerns me most is the potential dissolution of our wonderful community of writers and pundits—that's something I'd hate to see happen. The Raven likes this perch and plans to blog like hell over the next two weeks. Hope we'll still be here in March.

The Slacker Effect

Everybody's favorite villain, the RIAA, has taken the rather unusual step of sending a six-page brochure this week to the Fortune 1000 group of companies. Seems that the Recording Industry Association of America is deeply and passionately concerned about worker productivity. Here's an excerpt from the brochure, which you can view in Acrobat here:

You provide your employees access to computer systems and the Internet, and pay them, so that they will do their jobs. When they surf the Internet, illegally download files, and make those files available over the Internet, they can eat up gigabytes of your storage media space, consume your network and Internet bandwidth, and increase demands on your IT department. They also are not spending time doing their jobs. You become a victim of piracy, too!

It's a Phatwa Thang

Looks like Salman Rushdie was pretty smart to hang onto his security staff. The Iranian Revolutionary Guards, who I never knew had this kind of authority, have "renewed a death sentence" on the author, making this announcement on the anniversary of the original fatwa that had apparently been lifted in 2001.

"The historical decree on Salman Rushdie is irrevocable and nothing can change it," the elite Revolutionary Guards said in a statement quoted by the official IRNA news agency.

Oh Happy Uday

Here's a wild story about Saddam Uday, son of Saddam Hussein. We've already blogged on this guy, but this follow-up story adds even more credence to reports that the scion of Baghdad is a sadist prone to acts of unimaginable brutality.

"Raping is one of his, let me say, hobbies," said Odai's former press secretary, Abass al-Janabi. "I am not exaggerating."

The only problem will be if the Iraqi people get to him first. Then there might not be more than very tiny pieces left of him.

7:11:18 PM       

Whether you're Romeo or Juliet, you've been waiting for this day with ardent expectancy. Nothing could be more magical—a day for lovers—and you'll want everything to be "just so." With a little thoughtful planning and a few tender touches, it'll be a date to remember.

Plan Ahead

No sense in rushing around at the last minute. Actually, it is the last minute, so you'd better get moving. You'll need 13 roses, a card, an Andes mint, box of six chocolate truffles, an item of naughty lingerie, a CD of romantic songs, two filets mignon, bottle of Champagne, Bailey's Irish Cream, small item of jewelry, cologne or parfum, and some ribald literature. While you're rounding everything up, stop by the hair stylist and swing by the gym so you'll be looking your best and glowing with the radiance of health and well-being.

The Unexpected

No matter how well you plan, things might go amiss so have a few backup strategies just in—what's that? The market was out of roses? I'm not sure about those calla lilies but we'll hope for the best. Spraypaint them red and it's your tough luck you couldn't get the truffles so that box of Junior Mints is just going to have to do; but never fear, love will out.

Fun and Games

Valentine's Day is more than gifts and trinkets, it's about companionship and togetherness. Nothing says "I'm just wild about you" more than cooking in tandem, and you ought to straighten out the kitchen because—is that the doorbell? Oh dear. Well pop that Monster Love Mix CD in the stereo and get the—what do you mean you didn't have time to burn Gabriel's Passion Sources? No, Napalm Death and The Genitorturers aren't "just as good" but if that's all you've got...Just turn it down a bit, yes? And get that door!

Damage Control

All right, we understand that your jeans and T-shirt weren't appropriate, and it made sense to keep your love waiting out there whilst you threw on something a bit more upscale, but bounding down the hallway hopping on one foot as you're tugging on slacks is how things get broken, after all. Just steer your sweetheart around the broken shards and move things into the kitchen. You can tidy up later. Pour a glass of Champagne for the two of you as we start dinner and—oh come on! Did you really think they were going to carry Mumms at the Quik-Stop? Yes, it says, "The Champagne of Beers" but they don't mean...Oh just pour it into a wineglass. Now then, put the filets into a pan with some crushed garlic and...Beef jerky? You've got to be kidding. All right, well put a little water in the pan and we'll just cross our fingers. While that's heating up, let's move into the living room for a little slow dancing.

The Road to Hell

Forgot about the glass on the floor, didn't you? Well that's what first-aid kits are for, after all. But you can make dreamy eyes at your dearest while you staunch the bleeding and tape up that cut. No, I don't think those are "tears of happiness," but go ahead and turn down Limp Bizkit anyway, it's not helping matters. I say, is that the smoke alarm? The beef jerky! Calm down, open a window, and put that pan in the sink. What else do you have in the cupboard? Underwood Chicken Spread? Well, it's white, anyway—a classic Valentine's color. Good thing you've got a few crackers. While your darling is nibbling, it's time to put a chocolate on the pillow next to the thirteenth rose—er, calla lily. I see you didn't have any red spraypaint, but no, black wasn't "just as good." Now where are those Junior Mints? Pity you left them on the dashboard, but they do make a lovely fused block, don't they? Just carve off a bit with a knife and put that on the pillow. Perhaps we'll salvage something yet.

Blind Howling Rage

Let me guess, the Quik-Stop, which carries neither Champagne nor filet mignon, also let you down in the Bailey's department didn't it? So what'd you get? Put it under the sink. Yes, a Coke will be just dandy. Back to the living room and...where'd your heartthrob go? Ah, laying on the bed curled up and asking for an aspirin, yes? We thought so. No, Nyquil isn't "just as good." How could you run out of aspirin? Everyone has aspirin, and—what's all that yelling? Calm your sweetie down, chocolate washes out with shampoo, but we'll be leaving now. Sweet dreams, you crazy lovers, you.

2:46:59 PM