Teenagers today just want to kick it, whereas my crew were wont to smoke Djarums in dark cafes and beat experimental fiction out of our heads whether we had the talent for it or not. We'd drink caps and doppios for the wild pleasure of kidney-punching caffeine lockjaw, and wash down black beauties until the speed monkey was coasting on our necks like silver lightning and the Muse was laughing in our ears. Everyone was in black, the girls' eyes shadowed out over the crimson gashes of their mouths, holding roses in one hand and speed-drafting with Rapidographs in the other. Some of it didn't make sense, and some of it did; and the sexual currents thrumming under the level of perception would surface from time to time in hot whispered kisses against the tapestry of creative lust.

Now things look a little different. "Yo, sup homes?" The short pants, the goofy hats, the drivel of hip-hop makes me question whether there's a generation here worth saving—if they could be saved, or if they'd even want to be. But their faddish tribalism is laying the foundation for some serious rebellion and giving shape to something against which a viable negative identity could be formed. This morning's lineup makes it obvious that the forces arrayed against the youth are far more dangerous than any I had to face down, because now they are structural elements. They're the enemy within.

That Jank Be Bonk

Is what I'd say about Maryland's new math curriculum. It's part of an effort to "standardize instruction" to meet revamped state standards. The teachers, however, are skeptical and many are protesting:

For instance, several teachers pointed out that third-graders are taught area and perimeter before multiplication, and are taught mean, median and mode before division—a sequence that not only seems illogical but, they say, can hinder students' development of number sense.

The curriculum also introduces ambitious vocabulary at an age when many students are still learning to read. For example, vertex and its plural, vertices, are taught in second grade.

"What they want to do is admirable and exciting," said one third-grade teacher. "But they're not looking at the cognitive level of an 8-year-old."

This Is So Sept. 10

Which is another way to say "petty." Consider the complaint of Miriam Fisch, a Cook County high school English teacher, who's filed a class-action lawsuit against movie ads. Specifically, she's charging the Loews Cineplex Entertainment Group with "failing to start movies at scheduled times." She's all upset an' everything because some theaters go so far as to show commercials for "up to 10 minutes" before the main attraction.

"I teach media and I love movies," said Miriam Fisch, an Evanston resident who teaches at Stevenson High School in Lincolnshire. "It's frustrating when you go to the movies and you expect the movie to begin on time. It's like a breach of contract."

Over Amped and Oxymoronic

So who's all hyped up? Michigan's governer, Jennifer Granholm, that's who. She's forwarding an intiative that would require every high school in the state to make 40 hours of community service projects a "requirement for graduation." This ran under the headline: Making kids volunteer can benefit us all. An editorial on this matter asks whether mandatory volunteering could work:

Could conscripting students for community service suck the joy out of helping others? Would seniors press-ganged into tutoring third-graders or chauffeuring elderly neighbors to the grocery store regard their good deeds as a dull obligation, rather than an exciting new opportunity for self-actualization?

Crashy Jihad

Here's another one of those stories about a kid who got slammed for expressing a political point of view: Anti-Bush T-Shirt Banned at Mich. School. It's pretty much what you'd expect. A Dearborn, MI, 16-year-old student named Bretton Barber was ordered to remove his shirt that read "International Terrorist" next to a picture of Dubya. Weighing his options, Barber elected to go home.

Schools spokesman Dave Mustonen said students have the right to freedom of expression, but educators are sensitive to tensions caused by the conflict with Iraq.

Kicking Game

That's a crescent fresh way to put the moves on a lady. Leonceo Angsioco, who says he's a member of Generation Y, has put out a call for all young men in the 17-25 age range to take up the cause of chivalry. Why, there just might be some hope for this bunch yet. Let's see what he's advocating:

• Walk on the woman's side closest to the street;
  
• Open and close doors;
  
• Give compliments and show you care;
  
• Always stand when a lady enters a room or stands;
  
• Never use vulgar language or sexual connotations;
  
• And give up always thinking of yourself first.
  

Well I thought these props were chewy.

12:35:31 PM