These are the kinds of times that bring out the inner maniac in all of us. You can cut somebody off in the supermarket parking lot if you want, and when they honk, you flip 'em off royal. Because we're at war. Because September 11 changed everything, and since everything's different, well, all bets are off.

So how are you going to unleash the Berserker Within? If you're still mulling your options over, consider how other people are setting the inguana free. Based on what we're seeing, you've got some interesting choices.

Twas Brillig

Actually it's Brill, Steven Brill, the writer-publisher wunderkind who gets the numbnut award this morning.

Brill's got a new book out he'd like you to know about, titled, After: How America Confronted the September 12 Era. He says we need "a recalibration between freedom and security." For example, according to him, all it's going to take is one suicide bomber and then the whole liberty package will roll up faster than a chess hustler packing up his board after scoring off a drunken rube.

"You'll be standing on the sidewalk, and they'll be going through your bags," he said. "It will be a different country."

Those Feisty British

It isn't often that a quote like this one gets past the editors. Here's Emma Cooke, a 32-year-old anti-war protestor in London, who says:

"This is not about numbers. More than a million people were told 'fuck you by the government' last month and we are not listening, we are resisting. This war is not in my name it is not in Britain's name."

Paying the Piper

Sure, it's a lot of fun, marching in the streets, knocking stuff over, acting like you're in control an' stuff. You're not aware that you've simply displaced your anger at the government onto helpless motorists, because you don't care. It's just that pesky business about being arrested that sort of ruins the fun. Listen to these crybabies as they get released from jail:

Brian Henderson, 19, a UC Santa Cruz student, said police had used "scare tactics" on a protester who wouldn't give her name, including threatening to withhold bathroom privileges. "That is not right," Henderson said.

Some women were addressed by deputies as "little girl" or "hon," one protester said.

Too Much TV

That's my explanation for Madrid's "playing-card assassin." Have you heard about this guy? He's bagged four victims so far, and as you can guess, he leaves playing cards at the scenes of his crimes. Spanish police are going bananas trying to catch him before he used the five of cups. Sounds to me like the perp watched a few too many episodes of Hawaii Five-O.

12:27:29 PM