In colloquial parlance, when something's "academic," it means that it has no bearing on the "real world." If this is so, then give me the academic frame of reference every time. I can't imagine anything better than taking long walks in picturesque gardens, debating the merits of virtue against objectivism, of literature against history. Problem is, I'm usually talking to myself, because everybody else is watching the playoffs and eating nachos.

Life can be like that, yes? You finally locate your special niche in life, say, 17th-century varnishing techniques, and all you need is a club of like-minded fellows and you're off to the races. That's the theory, anyway. But in the Real World, when you find that club it turns out that there's a pecking order. There's some Old Hands, and politics, and people to kiss up to.

Sleeping with the Enemy

Here's an interesting story about a humanities-type who had to interview some hard-science boys. Turns out he was amazed at how cordial they were. Never would have happened in his department:

Setting up humanists as straw men for the fall of the Western world is as easy as shooting literati in a barrel. But that ease may result more from the form than the content of humanists' beliefs. In the humanities, scholars usually do their research alone. Scientists, on the other hand, are trained to work in groups.

Brain Sex

The UK Guardian has a quiz you can take to find out how male or female your brain is. First you take the interactive empathy quotient test, then the interactive systemising quotient test. Plot both results on a chart and you'll see how you stack up against Joe Average.

A key feature of the theory is that your sex cannot tell you which type of brain you have. Not all men have the male brain, and not all women have the female brain.

Shock Treatment

Here's another story about those damned stun belts. The St. Louis Post-Dispatch covers how the device is being implemented in an Illinois courtroom. From the description, these things are bad news:

The belt is designed to immobilize and shut down your body's "electrical" system, according to the belt's developer, Dennis Kaufman, of Electronic Defense Technology of Cleveland. He says it has been worn 60,000 times, and costs between $800 and $900.

Collapsing on the floor is not uncommon. And users are asked to sign a notification form that informs them in bold letters that the belt could make them urinate and defecate on themselves.

Amnesty International is calling the stub belt an "instrument of torture," and quotes Dennis Kaufman, the President of Stun Tech, Inc. (which makes the devices):

Electricity speaks every language known to man. No translation necessary. Everybody is afraid of electricity, and rightfully so.

His courtroom offense that outraged Municipal Judge Joan Comparet-Cassani was talking too much.

In a decision that was shocking to many—in particular the defendant, who was fitted with an electronic security belt under his jailhouse jumpsuit—the judge ordered her bailiff to administer a bone-jarring 50,000-volt jolt of electricity to Hawkins.

Time for me to get a belt—the kind you drink!

9:03:22 PM