Ever seen one of those adventure films where the guys in the pith helmets are using machetes to hack their way through the jungle? Kinda like that today. We're going somewhere, we're just not sure what lies at the end of the trail. Chances are, it's gonna be a pack of angry locals who won't listen to excuses but they will judge you by their own laws. Good luck getting the gemstone out of their heathen idol.

Need to get a haircut today. Since I don't have a decent barbershop within striking distance, I'm probably going to the mall, to "Supersnips," or "Masterchops," something like that. And my tonsorial artiste will be some gamin X-genner with spikey hair and a bad attitude. As usual, I'll try to make Witty Conversation, perhaps a linguistic gambit: "I say, did you know that the word 'rubric' comes from the Latin 'rubrica,' meaning 'red ochre,' and originally referred to directions for religious services?" She'll smirk and tell me to look down a bit.

Vaporware

Remember those two suicide bombers from Britain who attacked a Tel Aviv bar last Tuesday? Turns out they smuggled the plastic explosives into Israel by hiding the ordnance inside a copy of the Koran. Something kind of poetic about that.

My Kind of Protest

Says here that cannabis was openly smoked in the streets of London at a pro-dope rally.

All of this fun went on under the eyes of watchful police officers controlling traffic at International Cannabis Day of Action in Brixton. "Hundreds" of similar demonstrations took place in 250 cities "across the world."

A spokesman said: "If a police officer comes across someone who is smoking cannabis they will be asked to stop. If they don't stop the police officer will take appropriate action that could include confiscating the drug."

He Put Up a Fight

Not. I'm talking about this story: Israeli Cop Mistakenly Undressed, Fondled. Happened in Jerusalem, where a local constable, "responding to neighbors' complaints about women holding a rowdy party," showed up to tell 'em to keep it down. What he didn't know was that they were expecting a male stripper to show up, and when they saw him at the door, well...

The policeman showed the women his badge but they thought it was part of the act.

"She took off my shirt and untied my shoelaces," the officer was quoted by the Yedioth Ahronoth daily as saying about one of the partygoers. "She started stroking me and called on her friends to join in."

First Blood, the Prequel

Interesting article over at the UK Observer about that 5,300-year-old corpse of "Otzi the Ice Man" scientists have been studying. At first, they figured he was just some ancient shepherd, but after analyzing the remains, they now conclude he was a hi-tech warrior. Remember, this clown predates the pyramids:

Otzi's equipment included a flint dagger, a longbow of yew, plants with powerful pharmaceutical properties, three layers of clothing made of deer and goat hides, a bearskin hat, a framed backpack, a copper axe, dried fruit and other foods wrapped in moss for protection and a fire-making kit that included flints and ores for making sparks.

Judge Ye Not

Seems to be the moral from this story about Superior Court Judge Stephen Thompson, who went to court in Trenton last week on charges of kiddie porn possession. Acting on a tip, the cops who searched his home found something surprising:

Authorities seized a twisted porn tape in which a boy under 16 is seen performing sex acts. It was not immediately clear who the boy was and whether the tape was commercially or privately produced.

Shaping up to be an interesting week.

11:08:41 AM