Philadelphia Firemen

The Raven must apologize for the next story as being a bit risque and brazen, but it's part of an experiment in hit-mongering and "anything in the name of science" is our motto. You read this morning about those Philadelphia firemen in Upper Darby—volunteers to be exact—who put on a show of their own following a Rolling Stones concert yesterday? Seems that they "commandeered" a hook and ladder rig to attend the show, then afterward offered to give a fricksome concertgoer a ride.

At some point after midnight, things got a bit out of hand when the devotchka got down to her thong and invited Philadelphia's finest to conduct an impromptu safety inspection.

In the interests of public prurience, we dug up the controversial photos in order to determine how much trouble these servants of the public trust have gotten themselves into.

Photos of the bizarre interlude depict firefighters gathered around the unidentified woman while she suggestively poses on the truck about 12:30 a.m., roughly an hour after Sunday's show at the Tower Theater had concluded.

Patrons were, needless to say, utterly mortified at the cavorting while they snapped up photos and gathered round the spectacle. This wasn't expected at a formal event like a Stones gig, where behavior is normally strictly according to decorum. Tom Kelly III, a Pulitzer Prize-winning photographer, was on the scene:

"At first we didn't realize what was going on. Here's this girl and she's talking to the firemen, then all of a sudden she's posing on the fire truck," Kelly added.

Officials were quick to take charge. Upper Darby Fire Chief Edward A. Cubler attempted to frame the situation in terms he could understand, fuming, "This is going to be a problem in our fire department." We're not sure what all the fuss is about. A Stones concert is supposed to be somewhat out of control, because traditionally these are not events one goes to see, rather, they are like unexpected calamities that traumatize local communities and leave residents shaken and deeply disturbed. The Raven knows full well that worse things have happened when photographers are not around, based on first-hand experience.